Archive for October, 2001

Oct 17 2001

Mallrats

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Well I lied. The history or origin of Smurge is not going to enravel right before your eyes. Actually I have to dig through some papers as I wrote this over a month ago. I will find it soon.

Actually, I watched Mallrats in my attempts to watch all the Kevin Smith movies. I actually liked it. The premise was entirely stupid and it bored me in the beginning, but in the end, I found myself chuckling everytime Jay spewed, “snootchies bootchies”. Where as Clerks was more about life, this one was about love. Clerks was actually more believeable too, whereas Mallrats’ plot was too stupid to believe, but in the end I think I enjoyed Mallrats more because the humor was more low brow and it didn’t hit home like Clerks did. What I couldn’t believe is that Pricilla Barnes from Three’s Company fame didn’t only flash her breasts, but played with them for a while and even put on a fake third nipple. Man, I thought those braless scenes from Three’s Company were enough, but low and behold, she does a breast scene in Mallrats. I thought I knew all the Three’s Company history. I know Suzanne Somers did a few naked breast posters and movies in her day. I know Jennelee Harrison posed for Playboy and now does informercials. I know Joyce Dewitt aged horribly. And I know John Ritter modeled glow in the dark condoms and now is the voice of Clifford the Big Red Dog. But it took until last night for me to find out that Pricilla Barnes showed her naked breasts in Mallrats. Man, I need to keep up with my Three’s Company trivia.

It was cool to see Jeremy London in the movie. I always thought he was a cool character in Party of Five. And then to see Shannon Doherty in the movie was fun too because I know she probably made that movie as a middle finger to Aaron Spelling. But that was when they weren’t getting along. Wait, she’s off the witch show with Alyssa Milano so maybe she’s back to not getting along with Aaron again. Jason Lee was classic in his portrayal of a lazy video game comic book fiend. Wait, that’s like 75 percent of my friends. And if I wasn’t married with kids, that would be me too. Ha!

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Oct 16 2001

Clerks and Blockbuster

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My buddies Albert and Edson always quote lines, speak like characters from, and joke over the Kevin Smith movies. You know, Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and the newest one, Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back. I never found the time to watch any of the movies, until now. Last week I rented Clerks. It was mildly amusing, but most of the dialogue seemed very forced. It wasn’t seemless. However, since I worked at Blockbuster for over 3 years, some of the scenes were humorous and truthful, especially the part in which Dante was scolded for working in a shitty convenience store when he should have been either going to school or working for more money. It’s funny, when you get the hang of a job, it becomes so routine that it becomes a part of your life. There are no suprises and you know you can handle anything that is thrown your way.

I think there were several reasons I stayed at Blockbuster for so long. First, many of my friends worked there. So it was fun to go to work. Also, the job was very easy. You check out customers, put videos back on the shelves, and clean up after you are done. A monkey could do it. And it became such a part of my life, that I didn’t want to change. Even though we were vastly underpaid. Even though the raises were miniscule. Even though the perks in the job were few. The negatives heavily outweighed the positives, but for some reason, I didn’t want to change. Not until my wife Carol came along and showed me greener pastures did I change and finally leave Blockbuster. But man, there were good times. Even today, I still talk to Albert, Edson, and George who all worked there. Every once in a while, I’ll talk to Big Wilfredo and once in a great while I see Smurge counting the cracks in the sidewalk. Just kidding. I haven’t seen Smurge since I left. Who is Smurge? Well you just wait for my next post as you will see the history of Smurge enravel right in front of your eyes on this computer screen.

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Oct 10 2001

Cousin Brian

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Yesterday was your birthday
As if you didn’t know
We all watched home videos
Of me and you on the go
We were young rascals
Causing havoc in the pool
Everyone was there
But the focus was on me and you
I saw your parents
They were so proud
I could see it in their faces
As they laughed out loud

I named my son after you
As if you didn’t know
Everytime I call his name
I think of you, bro
When he asks me about you
I’ll talk about our young days
Just being kids
And havin’ our ways
Tonight as I write
I think I know the true meaning of my trip
Went to Arizona supposedly to play ball
But the real reason may have been to sit
In the house of your dad
To talk about the old times
And more importantly for my son
To understand why with your name, his name rhymes

October 9, 1978

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Oct 08 2001

Bonds

Published by gg under Uncategorized

If you’ve noticed, I haven’t written in almost a month. And if you notice the date of my last post before this one, you’ll notice I haven’t written since that infamous date of September 11, 2001. And while I’ll share my thoughts with you all soon, I’ll hold them for another day. To entice you to come back, I flew out of San Jose to Houston on September 10, 2001 and the rest of my stay in Houston was one of fear, for both my family and me.

But, tonight, I’m writing about something that many sports writers probably won’t write about when covering Barry Bonds. Yes, they’ll tell you about his great accomplishments, his jerky personality (which no one should comment on unless you personally know him), and they’ll sure as hell remind us when he doesn’t run a ball out or when he takes a bad angle on a fly ball. But what they won’t tell you is the true reason why he isn’t named one of the greatest baseball players ever. I’ll give you Ruth, Aaron, and Mays. But after those three players, you can make an argument that Bonds deserves to be right there after them. I’m not including pitchers because they don’t play every day. You can say Ted Williams, Joe DiMaggio, and Mickey Mantle are right there with Bonds, but if you look at the numbers, Bonds has all three beat. I understand that baseball is not all about numbers, but numbers are a part of the game. Statistics define ballplayers. They are the historical records that underline the player?s existence in baseball. Our history books define our existence. Statistics define ballplayers’ existence. If you look at those statistics, Bonds has more home runs than all three players. He has stolen more bases than all three players. And his defensive prowess is just as good, or even better than all players but maybe DiMaggio. So why is it, when Bonds is mentioned, he isn’t put in their category. Maybe it’s because he isn’t dead. Maybe it’s because he plays in today’s generation. Maybe it’s because he’s a so-called sour puss off the field. Or maybe it’s because he’s black.

Yes, I understand the power of that statement. When you deem someone a racist, you better have some well-documented evidence. It’s a very delicate subject to deal with. Today, we’re only 50 years from the days of Martin Luther King Jr. and separation and segregation. If you think about how small of an amount of time that is, it’s mind-boggling. The mere thought of people being separated based on race just defies my imagination. But even with that said, while the racism isn’t as visible as it was back then, it still happens. Much of it may have to do with the old guard versus the new guard. That old school mentality that yesterday was better than today. But just because it happens, doesn’t mean that it’s right. Now how does this tie into Barry Bonds’ place in baseball history? Well, it’s my belief that the reason Barry isn’t as respected in today’s age of ballplayers has more to do with racism, than it does with him stiffing that kiss ass journalist who is trying to get Barry’s words on paper.

Barry is a talented individual. I didn’t make a shocking revelation. But let’s start with the beginning. Barry Bonds is probably the most gifted baseball player in the last twenty years. If Michael Jordan played baseball, he would probably play a lot like Barry Bonds. Bonds will say that too. Every time someone asks him how he can do the things he does, he says it’s God’s gift and he can’t explain it. And people will take that to mean that he’s a braggart. But he’s only telling the truth. Think about it. Can you hit a baseball? If that answer is yes, and if more than 5 out of 10 of you out there answer yes, you’re lying. Now out of that 5, who can hit a baseball solidly 5 out of 10 times? Now those 5 will most likely drop to 2. Now out of the 2 of you left out of the original 10, how many of you can hit the baseball in the air over 300 feet 10 times out of 10 swings? None. Now Barry Bonds can do all of that and then some. And why? It’s because he’s more athletically gifted than just about anyone in the world. No matter what he does, he’s supposed to do it ten times better than everyone else because he’s talented. If he makes a mistake, he’s thrown into a mental prison by many fans. Since he’s so gifted, he doesn’t receive room for error. That’s blasphemy. I’ve been watching Jeff Kent play since 1996. Many a fan, including me has been impressed his hard play and hustle. Whenever a fan or a writer dogs Bonds for not running out a ground ball, they’ll mention that Kent runs every ball out hard. Also blasphemy. If every player in the league ran a ball out hard, that player would probably pull their hamstring 5 times a year. No player runs every ball out as hard as they can. But because Bonds is more talented than anyone else, he also must defy human physics and run as hard as humanly possible on every ball he hits, according to the eyes and minds of fans and writers. Again, blasphemy.

Is it a black and white issue? It might be. Again, I’ll mention Kent because he’s a country bred white boy which is the total opposite of the city kid, superstar athlete Bonds. If Bonds were white, would he receive all the bad press? Probably not. Hank Aaron and Willie Mays both received unnecessary bad publicity, yet Mickey Mantle who was in a drunken stupor half his life, Joe DiMaggio who according to many people was the biggest ass personality wise in the game, or Ted Willams who spit on writers, didn’t endure the same bad press Mays and Aaron did. A black player challenging All American, yet all womanizing, human garbage disposal, and boozer, Babe Ruth’s home run record? Henry Aaron couldn’t break the Babe’s record. He wasn’t as big and didn’t have the large looping swing. Yet Aaron took care of himself and played for over 20 years finally eclipsing the Babe’s record. One would think that over 20 years after Aaron changed history that Bonds would get a break. And he doesn’t. Racism.

The racism is not fully visible as I stated earlier, but it’s still there. Mark McGwire brought baseball back to being America’s Pastime in 1998. He was glorified as baseball’s best ambassador. Mark could do no wrong. He cried and was called sensitive. He smiled and was called gracious. Did anyone forget when he said he felt like a caged bird because the media was in his face at all times? Yes, most everyone forgot once he broke Roger Maris’ record. Big Mac is no different than Barry Bonds outside of the game. Both players aren’t outgoing, they don’t have anything engaging to say, and they don’t enlighten when they speak. McGwire is just as much of a sour puss as Bonds. So then why does Barry Bonds have this bad reputation, while Big Mac is kissing the Pope? You tell me. Honestly, I do in my heart think that racism is a big part of this. But it’s a part of life. I would rather characterize myself as an American, than a half Mexican and half Japanese male (which I am) , because the word American is so general. I don’t want my race to dignify me. I want to dignify myself. If Bonds wasn’t characterized as Black, and McGwire wasn’t characterized as White, and both were characterized as American, they would be equal in everyone’s eyes. And if you don’t believe me, read about Jackie Robinson, Ruben Carter, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Muhammed Ali, and others who are poorly characterized.

To me, Bonds is the greatest player in any team sport that I’ve ever seen, with the exception of Michael Jordan. I hope that the statistics tell the same story about Bonds that I’ve read about Ted Williams, Joe DiMaggio, and Mickey Mantle. If not, it’s racist blasphemy.

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