Yes, It’s been over a month since I last posted. If I can remember, I last posted about my marriage and the relationship I have with my wife. But today, it’s a little more somber. I heard today from my wife that her friend Trisha called her today with awful news about Trisha’s niece having a seisure of some sort and actually stopped breathing. I hope and pray she is ok. Trisha’s niece is younger than my own JJ. I can’t believe how something like this could happen and not be diagnosed at the many doctor’s appointment this poor child has already been to. If you think about it, since she’s so young, shouldn’t everything be working properly? If nothing is adamantly wrong with her from a physician’s aspect, then why can something like this happen. Damn the world just does not make sense sometimes.

I thought about my own little boys. How they don’t even understand all the problems they are going to face when they get older. How I want to shelter them from any bad in their lives for as long as possible. How I want to make sure they’re ready for anything that is going to face them in their life. Brian can actually tell when someone is sad now. He can tell when there’s something wrong with his mom or me. He will come up to us and hug us if he thinks it’s something we both need. How will I ever describe 9/11 to them or even what happened to Trisha’s little niece? Man, parenting is tough. It’s not only about providing for them and being there for them to do the things they can’t do for themselves. It’s about filtering out what they don’t need to know to be happy. It’s about knowing the right time to tell them things that they’re going to need to know for their own betterment. It’s about making sure I pave the way for their success. Make sure that I can teach them all I know about certain aspects and then make sure I learn more so I can expand their knowledge. Who would’ve ever thought that at age 25, I would have this much responsibility? Well, I did. I pretty much hoped that I’d have kids young because I wanted to be able to teach my kids everything I already knew, and more importantly, the new stuff I was learning. Brian and JJ are lucky to have Carol and I and vice versa. Those kids teach me new things about emotion and feelings everyday. Brian sometimes acts differently, not only on my words, but on my tone of voice. When JJ’s lip even quivers one bit, I’m ready to jump through hoops to make sure he flashes those big dimples again. Where would I be without them? I don’t know, but probably not working at VeriSign or owning a house. I’d probably be couped up in some apartment with Carol seeking my life in the radio industry. But again, while Carol and I didn’t have a life together without the boys for very long, I’m still learning her as well. We’re both learning each other while we raise these boys. It’s tough at times, but like I always said, I never expected adulthood to be easy, because childhood wasn’t. But if I was going to have tough times, I would want to go through them with a family. That’s why it was important for me to have one at such a young age.

Be strong little girl.

GG