It was fun doing the live blogger for last year’s NBA All-Star Game, so I decided to do it again. Unfortunately, dad isn’t here. He opted to watch The Fighting Temptations at home on DVD since Rick Barry isn’t playing.

Prediction time. Here are the categories. MVP, winning conference, and the Tyrone Hill Award for the player who gets the least amount of minutes. I think Hill made an All-Star game and had less than 5 minutes or something like that.

Eddy picks: Yao Ming, the West, and Jamaal Magloire
Randall picks: Kevin Garnett, the West, and Michael Redd
HJ picks: Allen Iverson, the East, and Brad Miller
Me: Shaq Daddy, the West, and Andrei Kirilenko

Looks like Outkast is going to do the introductions. Andre 3000 is doing Hey Ya. If nothing lasts forever, then what makes love the exception? That’s a great question that only Andre 3000 knows the answer to. Rather than let Andre or Big Boi announce the players, a monotone home town announcer is doing it to the backdrop of Hey Ya. Let’s just say, he needs a slower beat. The East is either getting no love from the crowd, or the music is too loud and we can’t hear them. Ok, they cheered for VC. But they didn’t cheer for Jamaal Magloire. Poor Jamaal. Now it’s Big Boi’s turn. I like the way you mooooooove. Sorry, I was singing. Uh oh, there’s Farnsworth Bentley, aka P. Diddy’s one time man servant, aka, the new Benson. Best dancer ever. This beat is a little better suited for hometown monotone announcer. Who gets a better crowd pop? Shaq or Kobe? Eddy says Shaq did, but Kobe Bean got a nice one too.

Jersey check.

Eddy is wearing Yao, HJ is wearing AI, and Randall is wearing VC. My boys are wearing the new school cats, Lebron and Carmello. And I’m wearing old school MJ black Bulls jersey.

Nelly Furtado is singing O’ Canada. She’s a little cutie, but the voice was wavering just a little bit. Christina Aguilera is singing the National Anthem. Could be the most oversung version I’ve ever heard. Give me Marvin and Nona’s version from last night any day of the week.

It started quickly. KG with the first put back and the West is already up 2-0. Stevie Franchise adds a lay-up and it’s 4-0 until Vinsanity hits a fade and East is on the board. Yao dunks over Big Ben and it’s 6-2. Block that one Ben. But Ben gets one back with a lay-up over Yao. AI lob to Big Game Jermaine. Tied game. Yao for three and it was an air ball. Yao another dunk from Big Tim. KG hits a fade away that made him look like a skinnier, yet taller MJ. VC tried to take Kobe Bean to the hole, but Kobe picked his pocket. McGrady hits Big Ben for a dunk. Francis to Yao for a dunk. If only Stevie passed to Yao in the regular season. VC with the three ball. AI off the backboard to McGrady for the dunk. First timeout. West 19-15.

My pick for MVP, the Diesel is in the game. My boy J-Kidd is also in the game. AI to the hole following a Kobe steal for a dunk. Tim with a nice jump hook for a bucket. Kidd for three. The Deez for a dunk. Shaq needs to take lessons in how to throw oops. Another oop to VC from AI. And another dunk from the Deez. J-Kidd for three again. Another time out and the West is up 27-25. The game is moving at such a fast pace that I think Magic wants in. But if you’ve seen Mag lately, his belly might get in the way.

Ooo, Lennox Lewis is sitting next to Naomi Campbell. Woah, Magloire over Shaq. Ron Artest is wearing two different shoes. And this isn’t just any mismatch mistake. They are two completely different colors. One is yellow and one is white and blue. Punky Brewster he is not. PP is in early and hits an early two. Grand Kenyon from JKidd. New Jersey representing. Kidd threw the oop underhanded from half court. Magloire hits the last shot of the first and they take their first lead 33-31.

Memo to J-Kidd. Don’t ever throw an oop to Paul Pierce ever again. Peja gets his first feed and before I can say anything, it’s up in the air. Those dog gone Euros. Artest changed his shoes again. Sam I Am finally got a bucket. Good for Sam. Finally made an All-Star team and doesn’t get shut out. Peja has got the ball three times. He shot three times. Those Euros must not like to pass. Magloire dunked and hung on the rim like he was the Diesel. Another pass to Peja, another shot. Four for four he is. The Deez has 8 points and 6 boards. East up 42-40.

Question, is Brad Miller a Euro? He looks like it. But I guess not. Dirk from Sam. East up by four. B. Diddy for three diddy. Ooo, Miller goes up for the dun…, err lay-up. Flip calls the time out as the East takes a 9 point lead. Eddy calls for Yao. He said Yao needs back in. I think I agree.

Kirilenko sighting. Michael Redd sighting too. Magloire just pinned himself on the rim on a dunk attempt. How can someone that tall miss a dunk so badly? B. Diddy the oop for Big Game Jermaine. East up by 5. Kirilenko missed badly. Stevie Francis decides to dribble for 20 seconds and hits a fade away. I’m sure somewhere Jeff VanGundy was shaking his head. East only up by 1.

T-Mac ooped to himself again. And then Yao missed a lay-up. Memo to Yao. You are 7’6, don’t ever lay the ball up. Dunk it damnit! Eddy just said Kobe is the least valuable player in this game. East up by six and there’s 34 seconds left in the first half. After a very nice first quarter, the second quarter is pretty boring.

I want to change Eddy’s pick for least valuable player. I’m going with Stevie Franchise. Jeez! The guy drops Kobe’s oop, dribbles around and throws an oop to nobody in particular. End of the half. East is winning. And I’m sad.

But Magic is hosting the half time show, so I’m happy again. Magic is looking handsome these days. Wait, he just said Michael McDonald was next. Talk about white hair. This guy’s hair is beyond white. It’s almost see through. He’s singing Marvin’s What’s Goin’ On. I thought Beyonce was doing some half time stuff? I’ll give it up to Mad Dog Mike McDonald. It was a very nice version. Beyonce is next. One question? Where’s Jigga? She’s singing Naughty Girl. She goes into Crazy In Love. Jigga must be somewhere close by. I can feel it. He’s gotta be coming next. How come I have a feeling he’s not coming on? Damn! She needs to show Jigga some love! It’s over, and I think Chuck Barkley is going to put the mack on.

The game is back on. Yao has three early buckets to start the quarter and the West is down 7.

I was gone for about 5 minutes as I had to order WWE’s No Way Out on PPV. It’s interesting that everytime I try and order something through Comcast, I always have to call techincal support to get my order in. I wonder if I should just go through technical support to order stuff? All I know is that Comcast sucks the big sloppy dunky one.

Ok, I must’ve been gone for longer. West is now up by one. Tim Duncan, aka Mountain Man Tim (you need to see the hair on this guy) dunks the ball for a three point West lead.

I think J-Kidd is wearing the Jordan XIX’s. First he gets his number retired at Cal, and then he gets to wear the XIX’s. That guy leads a charmed life. I wish I was J-Kidd minus the wife slapping. Michael Redd hits a three to cut the West lead to three and then J-Kidd steals the ball leading to a Grand Kenyon dunk. Then Shaq answers with what Randall calls, a Gorilla dunk. Was that a racist comment from Randall? I don’t think so. I think he has Black in his family.

Shaq sets a pick for Brad Miller and he hits a little fade. If I ever come off a pick, I want the Diesel setting it. He could clear out the entire team. Jamaal Magloire is the most unexciting dunker. B. Diddy threw him an oop, and he dunked it, but it was like if he didn’t want to hurt the rim. Maybe he’s just a boring guy. I bet that when he talks, people don’t listen. What is Sam I Am doing? He threw an oop to Kirilenko and it was a little too high. KG he is not. Just when I said something, AK-47 threw one down. End of the third.

The game has one more quarter to go. But WWE’s No Way Out comes on at 8PM PST. It’s currently 7:40PM PST. Here’s the plan. Once No Way Out comes on, we’re going to change the channel and hit pause on the Tivo. Then we’re going in the garage to finish watching the game. The wife suggested that we go into the bedroom, but I didn’t want to sit in the bed with Randall and Eddy. Actually, it wouldn’t matter as long as I wasn’t in the middle.

Last quarter. West leading 103-101. Kirilenko is getting a little overzealous. He finally scores, and then immediately puts it up again, but misses. Damn Euros. Magloire is fouled again and it was kind of boring. And he misses a free throw. Ho Hum. Whoops, I fell asleep as Magloire was on the line. He made it by the way. Artest made a lay-up and then Peja threw the ball away. Finally passed it and can’t even pass it to his own team. Peja gets the ball and before I even notice it’s him, he puts it up and misses. The only reason I knew it was him was because he shot it so fast. Magloire boringly shot and missed. B. Diddy dunked it. Yao threw an oop to Stevie. Stevie should take passing lessons from Yao. Francis decides to dribble until he got tired of dribbling and finally passed it. Break in the action. If I can’t fall asleep, I’m going to watch a tape of Jamaal Magloire. That would definitely put me in REM sleep quickly.

Wait, someone just proposed to Star Jones. That man is definitely on top. Yao hits the fade. Game is tied again. Redd for three. East up three. Kobe Bean with a nice fade. East up by one. B. Diddy just missed a reverse dunk on an oop. Would’ve been nice, real nice. Iverson to Kidd, Kidd shoo, no he passes to AI, AI shoo, no he passes back to Kidd for the bucket. They were faking me out. Kidd finally misses a shot after a Duncan bucket. The Dies gets another shot. My MVP pick is looking more and more like an actuality. Big Play Ray Allen gets a bucket off a missed shot. West is up three and there’s less than six minutes left. And No Way Out is coming on in less than five. I’m imagining that garage being a little cold. The bed is looking nicer and nicer. As long as there’s no spooning.

I have a problem with my Comcast again. Not only did I go through technical support to order a simple PPV, but it’s not on now. I am calling them again. I have missed the last 5 minutes of the game, but I did see Shaq land on Star Jones’ lap. Whoops, that was Ruben Studdard. My bad.

Ok, so now I can’t watch the PPV, but more on that and horrible Comcast later. TDunc hits a turnaround and now the West is up one with 25 seconds left. You’ll notice that I’ve missed a ton. And you’ll notice that I’m upset. I might need to watch that tape of Jamaal Magloire now. The game is close. Another overtime game? The ball went to McGrady and he threw an alleyoop that went out of bounds. West ball. Ray Allen is fouled and he’s going to the free throw line. He makes the first, and unlike in Jamaal Magloire fashion, I wasn’t put to sleep. Big Play Ray hits the second and the West are up three.

Kirilenko sighting. Is he even in at the end of the Utah Jazz games? The ball goes to Michael Redd for three and he misses. Mountain Man Tim gets the board and is fouled with 2 seconds left. Eddy says MMT is going to miss both free throws. He makes the first. Game is over. MMT misses the second and the game is really over. 136-132. Shaq Dies has to be the MVP.

More on Comcast. They said that because of their own error, I can’t order the PPV. They said they were really sorry, and I agreed. They said I can order it tomorrow. Great. Watching live television a day later. Shout out to Comcast. Nice job. Makes me want to switch to the dish even more now. Actually I would be a dish customer if I was able to put it on more than 4 TV’s. Yes, I actually have cable on more than 4 TV’s.

The Deez wins the MVP. Call me Nostradaumus. The West won. Call me Nostradaumus. And Kirlenko (along with B. Miller who was injured) won the Tyrone Hill award. Call me Nostradaumus. I’m out. It’s another year of blogging the spectacle that is the NBA All-Star Game.

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