I had an idea to do sort of a cross promotional blog post, where me and a couple other bloggers out there would have the same topic for our post, and then all post on the same day. It was great in concept, but I’m not sure everyone else has the time. Thus, I’ll do mine first, and if they decide to join, I’ll link them here.

The topic is simply a question. If you could invite 4 people past or present over to your house for dinner, who would they be and why?

First, since my list of possible candidates is fairly big, I wanted to give you an idea of who didn’t make this list.

• Barry Bonds: Everyone who reads me or knows me, understands that I’m a huge Barry Bonds fan. However, I’d have to talk to this man over dinner, and he’s not the most interesting interview. After we get talking about Willie Mays, and his father, Bobby Bonds, what’s else to talk about? His co-starring r0le on Beverly Hills 90210 where he golfed against Steve Sanders?
  
• Joe Montana and Jerry Rice: My two favorite 49ers of all time would be great choices, but I’m not sure we could chat about much other than football. I mean at least Barry was on 90210. And I don’t want Jerry leering at my wife.
  
• Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, and Ric Flair: I love wrestling. Love it. Can’t get enough of it. And these four stars are four of the biggest ever. But then again, it could be this huge mass of testosterone, and while all four would have endless stories, I don’t think I’d be able to get deep inside their heads.
  
• Stevie Wonder: If I could invite 5, he’s number 5. THE musical genius.
  
• Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods: The two ultimate competitors right? The two guys who do their best to keep their images as clean as their Hanes (at least MJ anyway). But, I have a feeling, because they are so competitive, I wouldn’t be able to get any secrets out of them. I’d be dying trying to ask them questions and not getting solid, truthful, and daring answers.
  
• Any family members: Because I don’t want to make this a sad post, I will avoid family.
  
• Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence: I bet we’d have a blast, but there’s something about Martin’s irresponsible behavior, and Eddie’s love for transsexual feet that turns me off.
  
• Bill Cosby: Twenty years ago, it would’ve been all about Cos. But he got bumped.
  
• Muhammed Ali: If I didn’t feel so badly for making him come to dinner when he’d be more comfortable at home, he’d be on my list.
  

Now we’re in business. You see who didn’t make the list. Now here’s who did.

I would imagine that it would be 7:00PM on a Friday night and the wife (with her and my mom’s help) would be making some sort of steak dinner. I’d help, but I’d be way too nervous, literally shaking at the thought that these four people were going to be at my house. I’d probably play with the kids just to shake off some of the nervousness, and play up the fact that they had to be good because these four people were coming over, and if they were good, they’d get to meet one of them specifically. But we’ll save that guy (or girl) for last. After I figured out that I couldn’t decide on one musical taste and had to play one of those boringly dreadful soft rock mix CD’s that you buy at the stores for occasions just like this, the door bell would ring. And who would be the first person to enter? None other than the author and editor of the world famous wrestling newsletter, The Wrestling Observer. Dave Meltzer is THE wrestling journalist of our time, and with that, he’d be my first guest. I’d sit Dave to my left, as I always envisioned myself as his right hand man. Whenever he needed me to report, or write a story, I’d be there, no sweat. And plus, whenever I’d get bored of the other three guys, I could always ask Dave, “so do you really think Steamboat vs. Flair was the best series of matches in the 90’s?” Who else can you ask that question to?

The Original BWalsh

After Dave and I got acquainted, the door bell would ring again, and none other than Brandon Walsh would step in the door. Other than the fact that he was a fictional character, Brando and I have a lot in common. We both were into Journalism, he of the print kind, and me of the broadcast kind. He was a big sports fan to the point of having a gambling addiction, and well, I’m just a big sports fan. And oh yeah, we’re both handsome. Anyway, Brandon was from Minnesota, home of Verne Gagne and the AWA, so I’m sure Dave would have something to talk about with him. Dave would probably ask him if he saw Hulk Hogan get over in Minnesota before he went to the WWF, and Brandon would probably proclaim that he was a huge Hulkamaniac. But really, talking wrestling with Brandon would be like asking Michael Jordan how it was to play golf. I don’t want to know about that. I want to know how he felt with Dylan scooped up on Kelly when he and Kelly were going so well. It’s my theory that if not for this episode where Kelly couldn’t choose between the two, she and Brandon would’ve gotten married, and he wouldn’t have left to Boston and make the last couple years of watching 90210 hell. And there wasn’t really a choice was there? I mean you had Brandon, who was the guy with the future, the rich parents, and the clean background. Well, he did drink and drive in the first or second season, but that’s beside the point. And then you had Dylan. Drug addict. Father embezzled money from him. Almost got Brenda pregnant. That enough should have been evidence. And what does Kelly do? She basically plays the game of who can do better. Dylan gives gifts. Brandon gives gifts. Brandon proposes. And what does Kelly do? She chooses neither. She chooses to be alone. She chooses herself. What a selfish chick. I would want to know the whole story, and how he could even think about marrying her after she did that to him.

A More Updated BWalsh

And at that moment, beauty would walk in the front door. Beauty in the name of Trish Stratus. More than any woman in the world, with the one exception being my wife, and on a bad day, the wife may even be excluded, I adore Trish. I remember first hearing about Trish on Dave’s Internet radio show on Eyada.com. Dave said she was a fitness model and that she would be debuting soon. I remember hearing how she was this big breasted blondie, who actually is a fan, and if she could get past her fear of speaking in front of an audience, she could actually be something. Well, let’s just say she’s done much better than anyone ever expected. She’s not only the top Diva in the WWE, but she’s also one of the better female wrestlers, and one of the fastest learners of her craft. Like any right minded male, I’d obviously try to chat with her and see if there was any chemistry, but then when my wife butted in to start talking to Trish as well, I’m sure that would all be gone. And by the end of the night, Brandon would have his new Kelly. Damn him! I’ll have to keep Dylan away.

Trish The Dish

Last but not least, the entertainment would arrive. The kids are big Michael Jackson fans. And before you start criticizing, they know nothing of the man today. They know the Michael Jackson of yester year. They love the music. They know that man looks much different today than he did yesterday, but they don’t care. With that being said, even though I know MJ has definite issues, I’m a fan. Not a fan boy, but still a fan. A big fan actually. Let’s just put it this way. My boys say that if they ever had a baby sister, they would want her name to be Janet. That big. And who wouldn’t want to see MJ in person, just singing, or dancing. It’s not like I’d want to have a long conversation with the guy, but I’d love for him to be able to show off in front of my kids, of course with a parental chaperone in tow. Actually, my wife might have to chaperone for all of us because I’d be first in line.

A Younger MJ

Imagine this. You’d have MJ performing a medley of hits. My kids are dancing together. I’m dancing with Trish, that is until Brandon bumps me out of the way. And then I guess I go dance with Dave Meltzer, I mean my wife. That might be the best night of all time.

I haven’t done a write-up of a wrestling show in a long time, but because Mr. Low Jones himself, Blake decided that he couldn’t make it tonight to watch the show because he was packing for a business trip, I decided to blog it so he could keep up with the show. And who knows, the way WWE PPV’s have been lately, this write-up might be better than the show.

So with us tonight, are only Eddy and Randy, two rather handsome fellows, but not quite in Blake’s class of handsomeness, at least according to Blake. But tonight, you can vote to see who’s more handsome. Check out the photos below, and at the end of the post, I’ll send you the email address to where you can vote.

Huggable Blake

Handsome Eddy

Young Randall

Oh yeah, back to the PPV. This is a post about wrestling.

The show opens with a package highlighting what else, but HHH vs. Chris Benoit. The show has simply been marketed as their first match-up on television in something like 4 years. The WWE has done a piss poor job of actually making anyone want to buy this show, or even letting us know this show is on. Three of my friends (those handsome fellows above) didn’t even know A) that the show was on, or B) who was wrestling other than HHH and Chris Benoit. It was so bad that they only announced 5 matches, and had to add one match yesterday and one match tonight.

The first match is one that I had no clue was even on the card. The Coach and Garrison Cade are wrestling Tajiri and Rhyno. This is how tweaked the booking of this card has been. Rhyno had been teaming with Val Venis of late, and thus, he’s the “surprise” partner. Tajiri has been on TV for one week after taking some time off to be with his wife. And the last we saw him, he choked on his mist after taking punishment from Batista. One would think, he’d go for revenge after Batista. But then, they threw together a weak angle from Raw where Tajiri misted Coach again. So that’s how we got where we are now. The Coach shouldn’t be wrestling on a PPV that I’m paying $34.95 for (with help of those three dynamic dudes above). What interests me about Cade is that he’s the tall, blonde kid who resembles a more muscular Barry Windham/Dustin Rhodes type, and also a taller version of “Stunning” Steve Austin. Coach is lousy in the ring and it shows tonight. Even taking bumps, he’s been bad thus far. The match tried to be creative and I’ll give the Coach credit for good facials, but it very much felt like a bad Raw match. Tajiri ended up giving Cade the green mist, which the referee must’ve saw since Cade’s blond hair turned green, and then he kicked Coach in the head to win the match.

Evolution talk in the back about their strategy with dear boy Eugene. HHH and Ric Flair are very smart men. Batista and Orton have great bodies. Awesome bodies. HHH and Flair aren’t nearly as cut, so they wear t-shirts. Benoit, in another room told Eugene that HHH was using him to get to the belt.

Next up is Chris Jericho vs. Batista. For some reason, and I’m very heterosexual (you can ask my wife), but I look forward to watching Batista enter the ring and do his body buiding poses. He really has a freakish body. They are really trying to get Batista over as THE monster in the WWE, and it makes sense and gives him credibility to beat Jericho, who would be a good stepping stone. I can see Batista being built up enough to be one of the top guys in 2005. Jim Cornette thought Batista would be a no brainer as a top guy when he was champ in OVW years ago. The good thing about this match, is even if Jericho slips by Batista, he’ll carry him to a respectable match. Not a good thing to have a full nelson rest spot so early in the match. The match is suffering as with Batista as the monster, it doesn’t seem that they want Jericho dominating much of the match and that leaves us with Batista’s array of moves, which consists of rest hold after rest hold. Batista does a pretty nice spine buster. But Jericho’s running enziguri is nicer. This match is way too long for Batista, but he wins with his Batista Bomb, even though Jericho’s foot was draped on the bottom rope. Jericho put him over nicely, but again, the match was too long and he was exposed in my opinion.

They wasted another 5 minutes showcasing HHH’s acting skills basically telling Eugene that he’s his friend. And as a surprise, they gave Eugene one of Flair’s robes.

The next match is The Nature Boy Ric Flair and Eugene vs. La Resistance for the tag straps. Flair isn’t everyone’s friend this month as his autobiography basically said Bret Hart was boring, Randy Savage was overrated and Mick Foley was a glorified stuntman. I haven’t read it yet, but I will soon. The match is basically Eugene doing all of Flair’s moves, even cracking up Flair in the process breaking character. It’s actually pretty entertaining. You have Eugene doing all of Flair’s old moves, even the way Flair takes bumps, and everytime he does it, Flair gets mad. Then the Nature Boy tags in and does all of his own taunts and woo’s. The match was pretty good, but I kept waiting for Eugene to tag in to see more of his imitation. But, in what seems to be his gimmick, which sort of mimicks him as a retarted Luke Skywalker whose anger issues cause him to tow the line between the good side and the dark side. Eugene gets disqualified because he can’t keep his temper and throws around the referee. I’m still slightly interested in the Eugene angle, but it’s pretty much already jumped the shark.

Young Matthew Hardy faces Kane in a no DQ match. The Lita/V1/Kane love triangle is an insult to anyone who likes thought provoking angles. So Lita sleeps with Kane because Kane continues to threaten Matt’s life and he says that he will stop once she sleeps with him. So rather than calling the police, she humps him. And amazingly so, he lied. She gave him a nice small piece of her poontang pie, and Kane wanted seconds. That’s actually the only part of this angle that makes sense. So Matt finds out about the Kane ordeal after proposing to Lita, and now is so mad at Kane that he wants to kill him. Lita hasn’t had a paternity test just yet. She’d rather wait the full term and be surprised. Who’s baby is it? Kane’s or Matt Hardy’s? The only saving grace in this angle is if it turns out that Lita and Matt both know it’s not Kane’s and use it against Kane. Kane isn’t going to beat up a pregnant baby mama. Or maybe, she can just give birth to a hand. It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. The match is just an excuse for Matt Hardy to take a beating. Matt finally gets some offense in, but it’s not realistic because he should be ruthless in his offense, not looking for the crowd approval. Hardy hits the worst Twist of Fate in history, but Kane kicks out. Kane then hits the worst choke slam ever. Kane is ready to destroy Matt, but Lita gets in the middle, Kane puts her in the corner and gets hit with a chair and Matt wins. Pretty lackluster win. It’s like it was pure luck and if it wasn’t for Lita, Matt wouldn’t have won. Not sure what’s better. Having a losing streak, or winning only because your pregnant girlfriend who either is having your baby or the baby of your worst enemy interferes.

In a match that Edge needs to be near classic, he takes on Randy Orton for the IC title. In this instance, Orton has had the belt forever, proven himself (thanks Mick), and doesn’t really need the cheap win as much as Edge needs some momentum. The match is not doing what it needs to do for Edge, but Orton seems big time over with the fans. It must’ve been the Foley deal. Foley put him over so well that Orton just looks like a star right now. Edge on the other hand, has stalled. He needs a fresh makeover on Smackdown. Much like the Batista vs. Jericho match, this is hurt by the reliance on rest holds rather than more of the fast paced match the fans wanted. I’m guessing they were asked to extend the match since this is supposed to be a 3-hour show. The match picked up respectably towards the end but they got way too cute for the finish. Edge missed the spear, Orton missed the RKO, Edge had a pin attempt, Orton had a pin attempt and held the tights, and then finally, Edge hit the spear for the win. Shave a good five minutes off that match, and it would’ve been better. Good effort by both guys though.

In the match that was put in the semi main event slot only because the fans won’t want to see two really long matches in a row, Molly Holly takes on Victoria in a number one contender’s match for Trish’s strap. They played up Victoria as the face who came back from uncertainty to win the match with her own Sweet Chin Music.

Let’s just say that if this is the classic that it is supposed to be, it will save a rather stale PPV. Not that there wasn’t good stuff on the show because there was, but it just wasn’t must see TV. I’ve seen editions of Raw that I’d rather have spent money on that were better than this. The match has a great pace to it which is good since the Orton vs. Edge was slower paced and was hurt because of it. Benoit is taking some amazing bumps in this match. He’s run full speed into the turnbuckles ala Bret Hart three times already and has taken a dump over the top with velocity. However, with HHH on the offense, we’ve seen several submissions, and not of the finishing kind. The transition holds are hurting this PPV. Benoit comes close to killing himself diving through the top and middle rope to shoulder tackle HHH, and nearly speared himself on the barracade. The ref goes down and HHH calls for Eugene dear boy. Benoit gets the crossface on HHH and Eugene has to decide whether to get the ref for Benoit or help HHH. Eugene comes to the apron and Benoit knocks him down. HHH then hits the low blow and the pedigree while Benoit wonders if it was the right thing to do . Benoit kicks out at 2 and 1/2. Eugene should’ve been incensed that Benoit knocked him out, but doesn’t go crazy. Eugene takes orders from HHH and gets HHH a chair but doesn’t let him hit Benoit with it. HHH then knocks Eugene down, but Benoit gets the chair from HHH. Evolution attacks and Benoit lays them out before HHH knocks Benoit down to recapture the chair. Benoit hits a low blow himself and this all has been happening while the referee is down and Eugene in the ring. Eugene picks up the chair and teases hitting HHH and Benoit twice each, but can’t decide what to do. He has a tug of war with Benoit for the chair, but Benoit lets go and Eugene hits HHH on accident. Benoit rolls up HHH and the ref comes to life, counting the longest roll up three count that I can remember.

While I’m glad Benoit kept the strap, it really sets up the inevitable of HHH getting back at SummerSlam. I wouldn’t have minded if HHH won it here, and then Benoit won it again with a 2/3 fall stipulation of some kind at SummerSlam. The match was solid, but had the convoluted ending, which hurt it. And no one right now feels for Eugene, and that’s the opposite reaction needed for his character in my opinion. He’s just the big idiot which is what I was afraid he was going turn into.

Now, the vote. I haven’t forgotten. You can now vote on who is most handsome between Huggable Blake, Handsome Eddy, and Young Randall by sending me anemail. Make that vote count.