Harry Kadani was a great man. I heard that often this past week in talking to family members about Harry, who passed away at the age of 67 on December 13, 2005. There were words of respect spoken about him in a way that made you believe that Harry was indeed great. But what makes a man great? According to Harry’s family and those who knew him well, it had to do more with how he treated people than anything else.
He was born in Gilroy, California, son of Frank and Alice Kadani in 1938. Frank and Alice were both of Japanese decent, but Frank’s parents had moved to Hawaii to find riches and his father ended up working at a sugar plantation in Lahaina, Maui. After being born in Hawaii, Frank was sent to Japan, along with his older brother in order to secure his education. After schooling was finished, Frank ended up in San Juan Bautista, California. Alice was born in Mountain View, California and they were married in an arrangement set up by a go between. When Alice was pregnant and ready to give birth, she delivered Harry in Gilroy because San Juan Bautista didn’t have a hospital.
Life changed for the Kadani family soon thereafter as it did for Japanese Americans during this time. In 1942, the Kadanis were sent to Denver, Colorado and were forced into a concentration camp. They stayed in Colorado after they were let out of the concentration camp as Frank found work as a short order cook on a golf course and Alice also waitressed. Harry was the only child living on the golf course and his love for the game of golf began immediately. Harry befriended a tour pro and at the age of only seven, was already caddying.
“As a child, he would sleep with his clubs,” wife Diana Kadani started, re-telling a story of her late husband’s childhood. After a day of caddying, Harry would wait outside the 19th hole (the bar), patiently awaiting to be paid for his day of work. He would worry that the golfers would spend all their money in the bar and would forget to pay him.
Harry was very good at golf as a youngster and the tour pro that he befriended told him that if he continued to practice and dedicate himself to the sport, that he could possibly turn pro. He competed with many players much older than him in amateur tournaments and faired well, but golf was a sissy sport to him (as it was thought of at the time) and he wanted to compete in football and basketball. Diana said that Harry confided in her that he wished he would’ve continued to play golf because it was his true passion. He did pick the game back up while in his 30’s and while his skills didn’t erode that much, he could still tell that he lost what he once had. But he was still good enough to beat regular Joes and his buddies would bet on him in matches against other men, and Harry rarely lost them money.
The idea that Harry had to play more physical sports might’ve had to do with the fact that it wasn’t only more impressive to the fellas, but also to the ladies. Harry was a flirtatious young man, but brother-in-law Roy Nakamoto called it, “simple Japanese charm.” According to his wife Diana, their meeting had to do more with Diana looking forward to watching a Hawaiian band play music at a restaurant called “The Franciscan” rather than looking to meet her future husband. Harry was friends with the band members and he eventually worked his way toward her. Harry was quite inebriated at the time Diana remembered, and started to use his “simple Japanese charm” on her. Diana enjoyed his company and she said he was a riot to be with. When asked what the one thing was that impressed her, she answered, “his dancing”. They danced the cha cha, the tango, and the fox trot and Harry’s “simple Japanese charm” included being light on his feet. Marriage would come soon enough.
Joining a large family is usually pretty hard. Diana had 7 brothers, 6 sisters, and a father who wasn’t necessarily fond of every boyfriend one of his daughters brought through the door, which meant he probably didn’t meet many. But Harry was different. According to Diana’s brother Tom Nakamoto, Harry worked on Ruth and Frank Nakamoto in order to win Diana.
“Harry had the gift of gab,” Tom also said. He could talk to anyone and fit right into any situation. He was sociable and simply easy to get along with. The Nakamotos loved to party and Harry did in fact, fit right in. Harry was legendary with his ability to have a good time. He was a fan of Chivas Regal Scottish whiskey and would win drinking games by allegedly downing shot after shot and having no problems walking straight afterward.
“It would snow in San Jose before I had a baby,” was supposedly something Harry said according to a family member before he had his only daughter Janene Akemi. Snow it did. “Nini” as she would affectionately be called was his ray of light to melt that snow. According to Diana, Janene was a daddy’s girl and had Harry wrapped around her finger. He could never tell his daughter no, and would ask Diana if she could tell Janene because he didn’t have the heart to disappoint his daughter. This wasn’t only when Janene was a little girl as Diana said it happened throughout Janene’s adult life as well. He just couldn’t tell his “little girl” no.
Brother-in-law Tony Gonzales noticed that Nini’s timeless energy, as well as that of her own young kids, came from Harry. “Harry was a jock,” he said after looking at old pictures of Harry playing basketball and football. In one specific picture, Harry was seen jumping as high as another player who was much taller than him, during a jump ball. Another picture showed him running in on the play on the football field at a time where there were no face masks. Harry wasn’t your stereotypical athlete as he wasn’t large in stature and he also never really bragged about his athletic exploits. Unless he was chatting it up with a member of the opposite sex, according to Roy. Harry never lost that “simple Japanese charm.”
Work would take Harry and his family out of San Jose, California, where they initially called home. They would move to Southern California and away from the Nakamoto family. Janene would grow up in Southern California, graduating from high school and going to Community College before moving back to San Jose to finish her undergraduate work towards her degree at San Jose State University. She met her future husband Rene Ayala and was soon married after college, starting a family of her own. Harry and Diana were simply not going to stay away and they sold their house in Southern California to come back to San Jose to help Janene raise her new family. “Papa” and “Obachan” were proud grandparents, first to Ryland, and then to Jaydn. Both kids were chips off the old block with their boundless energy, reminding family of Janene as a baby and understanding that this had to come from Harry.
Sad news erupted in the Ayala/Kadani household when Harry was diagnosed with cancer. It’s been said that true character isn’t shown in a human being until tragedy occurs. If that’s the case, Harry’s true colors were shown. He was a fighter. Though the odds were against him, Harry never showed any of his loving friends and family any sign of weakness. Even when times were bleak, Harry was making everyone else feel good about his situation. How can one be sad when the person who is sick is so positive and uplifting? Harry made everyone feel comfortable, a common trait that was voiced by many a family member in their remembrance of him.
“Uncle, you never judged me,” said nephew Manuel Sainz with his voice cracking while talking to his sick uncle on his last night. Manuel remembered his first White Christmas with the Kadani family and was broken up over his uncle’s situation as Harry was coherent and able to be himself only days before. Harry’s kind heartedness was spoken of fondly by everyone. He was the uncle that made it easy on new people to come into the family. It didn’t matter if you weren’t a part of the Nakamoto family. Harry accepted you as one, even if you weren’t going to be in the family for long. He treated everyone that way.
Harry passed away in the early morning of December 13, 2005 and he waited until the last family member was done visiting him. He didn’t want to die with family members watching according to his daughter. It wasn’t his way. He wanted them to leave their visit knowing that he was still with them.
The memorial service for Harry was held at the Monterey Peninsula Buddhist Temple. Harry’s friends and family were there to remember him and to support the family that he left behind. More words of greatness were spoken and it made you feel special that you got to know him. Brother-in-law Roy Nakamoto made the most memorable statement in giving his remembrances of Harry.
“Harry only cared if you had heart. And if you didn’t, he’d help you find it.”
