Who knows if any of this is true because the Eddie Murphy quote isn’t attributed, but it’s the first I’ve heard of Quentin Tarantino wanting to script for Axel Foley. Just don’t try to read the responses.

Also, Brandon Walsh married again. Lucky woman.

The moral to last week’s story is that you should vote for your favorite person no matter what. The reason Master P is still here? Because he’s always in the bottom two and his fans feel the need to save him. Poor Giselle Fernandez shouldn’t have been in danger to go home, but her fans didn’t think she was going to leave, so they didn’t vote in droves. Anyone remember Jasmine Trias from American Idol two years ago? Same deal. She was always ready to leave and her fans saved her. So just remember. Vote for Jerry and Stacy.

I now know why I’m a George Hamilton fan in this competition. It’s his facial reactions. He has great facials. Even better, he reprises his “Zorro The Gay Blade” costume. Maybe the best title for a movie ever. I’ve noticed that as we’ve gone through a couple weeks, he dances less and less and his partner dances more and more. I know he’s old, but I’m just saying. One of the judges said there needed to be blood on the dance floor. Michael Jackson was right.

I’m not sure why I’m putting this here, but I was looking for something and noticed that Tia Carrere had once filed for bankruptcy but was denied because the judge thought she just wanted to get out of her contract, whatever it was. That has nothing to do with her dancing tonight, but it was kind of boring, so I needed to fill this space with something. She is getting more comfortable with her outfit though as the slit in her dress goes very high up her thigh. She seems to be having a ball as well and I’m sure that permeates with both the judges and her fans.

The great Percy Miller is next and this is where I get to laugh. They just showed P’s partner Ashley in some jeans, and I’ll just say three words. Oh. My. Lord. They are dancing the pasa doble tonight and P is wearing a phat suit with a sweet fedora . But, he’s doing more walking than dancing. His partner is working for three men tonight. The judges are going to hate it so much, but the fans will vote tonight. He’s going to need it.

At least Stacy is next. There’s something about watching a graceful, beautiful woman dance that is hard to resist. Sometimes I fast forward through the boring dances, but not when Stacy is dancing. Another really good performance. The third judge said that she has the best legs he’s ever seen in the business and that she puts the foxy in the trot.

Nose Lachey is next with his version of the pasa doble. And they’re dancing to Thriller. He’s trying very hard to win me over. It’s not working. At least I get to see his eccentric partner. Nose should be banned from ever using Michael Jackson choreography ever again. And with the shirt he’s wearing tonight, it looks like he has no neck. Of course the judges love him. Biased!

Jerry has that look in his eyes. The same look the Cincinnatti Bengals saw when he broke Super Bowl records in early 1989. He’s a little stiff tonight, but he has so much charisma on that dance floor. It wasn’t his best performance, but neither was last week and he didn’t get the boot. But it was still technically better (at least to my eyes) than last week. Let’s hope he doesn’t get booted here. Come on Jerry!

I think Lisa Rinna is actually making herself relevant again being on this show. She’s showing off a very nice body even though I’m not fond of that hair. And she’s showing that she can dance. She’s not as graceful as Stacy, and not as elegant as Tia, but she’s holding her own.

If you’re voting on the dancing rather than who you want to save, Master P is a goner. He’s just not comparable. I’d say George Hamilton would be second worst. But I’m not sure either are going this week. If I were Tia or Lisa, I’d be worried because their fans might think they are safe. But, I wouldn’t be that upset, because that would mean Stacy and Jerry are still dancing. Since there were two Michael Jackson references in this show report, I’ll end with another one. Keep on dancin!

When I worked for VeriSign, I met a man named Blake Highsmith. Blake and I immediately hit it off and like I usually do, I picked up on a few personality traits that I found entertaining. Blake was not only a really nice guy with a big heart, but he was also hysterical. For instance, he gave himself the nickname “Low Jones” which is based off his last name Highsmith. Get it? Low Jones. High Smith. Anyway, I loved the fact that he called himself this and I started to create a short story about the story of the mysterious Low Jones. Well, short story became long story became three part long story, and while I haven’t finished the last two parts of the story, I finally put them on the new site.

The story is pretty silly, immature at times, but is good natured and has a moral. I’ll list them one at a time. Beware. It’s long.

In part I of the story, Yeoman Aristotle Highsmith transforms into Low Jones. You can read The Adventures of Low Jones: Blame It On The Booty by clicking here.

This is going to be mainly just short glimpses of my favorite teams and a nice look at one of my favorite players of all time. First off, is hockey season ever going to start? Oh, it has started? Forgive me.

My wonderful 49ers ended their season on a good note by winning their last two games, beating those dirty Rams and then on New Year’s Day beating the woeful Texans who look like they have their pick of Reggie Bush or Vince Young or Matt Leinhart or whomever they want. Even though the 4-12 record wasn’t exactly what everyone had hoped for, the late push showed that they didn’t give up. Even though their roster will probably be a lot different next year, there seems to be some room for immediate improvement because they aren’t in salary cap hell anymore (thanks Terry, we took our medicine) and that they not only have a high draft pick, but the rookie class from last year played a lot. I loved watching Frank Gore run the football and at the end of the season, that Alex Smith kid played well. The two offensive linemen, Snyder and Baas got significant playing time as well. It will be a mighty chore to fix that defense, but it always is. I just hope that they get as young defensively as they did offensively this year.

My San Francisco Giants are not getting younger. They’re actually getting older. And how can that be? Add Matt Morris, Steve Finley, Tim Worrell, and Jose Vizcaino, and Mark Sweeney. Their youngest everyday player will probably be Lance Niekro and he’s a strapping young man at 27 years of age. I’m glad that Barry pulled out of the World Baseball Championships because if he were to get hurt playing in that exhibition series, his career might be over. And his focus has always been on getting the team to the championship, so his pulling out is consistent with his usual goal. The starting rotation is going to be young, but unproven. Matt Cain as your number four starter? Hopefully Schmidt and Morris can rub off on the young kids and help them age this season. Watch out for my fellow San Jose State grad, Kevin Frandsen to make this club sometime in 2006. To steal a phrase from the 80’s, “Come on Giants, hang in there”.

The Warriors are doing exactly what I feared. Shooting themselves into games, and shooting themselves out of them. I did think that they’d blend better at mid-season than they have, but I think what it comes down to is that Baron Davis and Jason Richardson are the go-to guys and no one else scores clutch buckets. When your go-to guys score the majority of their points from the outside, they become much easier to defend. I’m interested in seeing if they really believe Troy Murphy is the real deal as a power forward because to me right now, he’s simply a numbers guy. I don’t see him being a factor in them winning ball games. They have their work cut out for them and sadly, I would guess that they’re going to miss the playoffs again. If Young Randall and Filipino Heat Eddy Zucko would quit going to the games and giving them bad luck, they might have a better chance.

To end this, I took my boys to see one of my childhood sports heroes. How many 5 or 6 year olds know the meaning of Run TMC? How many 5 or 6 year olds know who Tim Hardaway is? Double Bri and Double J do. Tim Hardaway coaches, plays for, and is the acting GM for the ABA’s Florida Pittbulls. They came to town last weekend to play the vaunted San Jose Skyrockets. Double Bri and Double J were looking forward to seeing this man with the killer crossover. The game was at the historic San Jose Civic Auditorium and we sat pretty much three rows from the court. We watched Tim pretty much just shoot threes all night and though the ABA is very much an uptempo style of basketball, the kids got bored. Lots of turnovers. Lots of missed shots. Lots of fouls. I enjoyed watching Tim play and the man looks like he hasn’t aged and he’s very much down in weight, but in the end, the basketball wasn’t good enough. We’ll see if Double Bri and Double J try to pull off the killer crossover this weekend at their YMCA game. Double Bri and Double J will still wear their Carmelo, Lebron, and J-Rich jerseys, but at least they know the jersey their dad wore.

Run-T

All it takes are three letters. These three letters usually make people lose their minds. They hear these three letters and they become unglued. They become hungry and think of copious amounts of hot food. They start to think of freshly cut grass, the smell of cooked beef, the smiles of loved ones, and the memories of days gone past. Those three letters are BBQ.

It didn’t even start out like it was going to be a family barbeque. It started out as a simple idea to get some cousins out on the basketball court. But then the babies’ mama thought it’d be a good idea to get the family back together. I was a little worried that we wouldn’t get too many folks out to Gilroy on a Sunday in January, but we did. It was hoops and football for the boys, chit chatting and taboo for the women (even though the guys won) and ended with a fabulous game of “Guess That TV Show Theme”.

While I won’t bother you with all the details, I will summarize the events.

Young Randall, Matt, Raiden/Billy, Janene/my mom/Carol, and me ran the court winning three games in a row. Poor Eddy. Poor Bruce. They were on the court pretty much for all three games and finished without a victory. Young Randall broke the street ball record by taking 65 three pointers in three games. And Eddy was seen walking back to the house after the third game with an upside down smile.

I had to barbeque about 15 pounds of carne asada for tacos and Nak mentioned that it looked like I was actually stir fry grilling. Nak and Bruce and I talked mixed martial arts while poor Ryland couldn’t avoid the dog poo in the back. JJ was hopping around it like a pro while the Ry guy made one bad step. And yes, this is the wife’s job. My job is to keep the dog alive. Her job is to clean up the crap. After I forbid her to get the dog, she got it and promised to clean up the poo. So I’m sticking to it, just like it stuck to Ryland’s shoe.

After we all ate and gossipped about anything and everything, some of us decided to throw the football around. This turned into a full fledged 7 on 7 flag football game. I forgot to mention that Double Bri’s music teacher, Mr. Padilla came over with his kids. The reason this is pertinent information is because we ended up covering each other and it also meant that I actually had to take this seriously. I mean I couldn’t let Double Bri’s music teacher run circles around me. And while I’m paying for it today with the sorest legs on God’s green earth, I saw him today and he was limping just as badly. In all seriousness, he’s a nice guy and a great sport. We had fun.

After the worst dunk contest you’ll ever see, it was Taboo time. It was bras vs. jocks and let’s just say this; the jocks never lose. If you’ve never played Taboo, it’s a game where you try to define a word to your team without using 5 of the easier words that one would use to describe it. The highlights included Bruce spending his entire time limit trying to define one word, my mom yelling out porn and boobs in front of children, and Auntie Diana taking away points from the bras. In what was a blow out, quickly turned into a close game. The bras needed six to win and only got five points which meant that the jocks only needed one to win, and one we got. After we got it, I pointed to the sky like I’d just won Wimbledon.

But that wasn’t it. The finale of the night was “Guess That TV Show Theme”. Tawni won. In a landslide. While Janene and Tomiko knew all the themes, they weren’t quick on the trigger like Tawni. I taught her well. But only Bruce could get the theme to “Taxi”. I think his wife got the theme to “Welcome Back Kotter”. I think Tawni busted out “Who’s The Boss”, “Full House”, and “Growing Pains” within maybe five notes. She even got “Martin” just based on the laugh track that happens before the actual song. Just an impressive Michael Jordan like performance.

It was a fun day to remember and here’s some pictures below to remember the day.

The Kid Still Has It

Shooting For Teams (This Took Forever)

Filipino Heat