Everyone who reads this knows that I play semi-pro (cough - I pay to play - cough) baseball on the weekends and for the last 5 years or so, I was also running the team that I play on. 2005 was the final year in which I ran the team and now I just play. I put together a short gathering of pictures last year and decided to host it so people could take a look at the team. I’m going to post this on the team’s website as well. The photos aren’t only of the players as we have a few fan shots (ok, really the kids) as well.

Check out the 2005 SJNABA Giants. Please note that you might need the latest version of Quicktime in order to play it on your machine. Also, give it about 10 seconds to fully load.

It took several weeks, but it finally happened. Good ol’ Acey Young is a goner. He was definitely the worst singer left of the seven. But I’m betting the American Idol folks wished that he stayed a bit longer. He seemed to be a fan favorite, especially from the female species, but I’m sure most of the guys didn’t mind seeing him go. He overstayed his welcome.

The Hot List
1. Katharine McPhee - Even though she’s not as consistent as Chris, when she’s been on of late, she’s more on than he is.
2. Chris Daughtry - I think being in that lead spot is death because people forget about you.
3. Paris Bennett - Quietly, she’s stepping up her game.
4. Taylor Hicks - He needs to bring the harmonica back out.
5. Elliot Yamin - I’d rank him higher than Taylor, but we know Taylor won’t leave before Elliot.
6. Kellie Pickler - She inherits the worst singer left title.

The Defeated
1. Melissa McGhee
2. Kevin Covais
3. Lisa Tucker
4. Mandisa
5. Bucky Covington
6. Ace Young

Before we start tonight, I have a few ideas on how to finish out this season. Next week, we visit the incredible, stupendous and outrageous (that was for Lionel) Low Jones. The following week, I will be at my sister’s as she and “Shoesless” Mike Lopez will host. The following week, we will be at The Bito~!‘s. The following week is up for grabs, but in the final week, it will be a free for all. Anyone who has been a part of this blog and who wants to give commentary can. It might be the longest American Idol blog in history. The following night, which will be the finals, I will try to get my dear mother on for an Idol post game show and anyone reading this can e-mail me a question to ask her on the air. Check at the bottom for the e-mail address if you wish to be a part of the show.

Tonight, I have two great people with me. It’s a husband and wife duo who have opened their house to me as we Idol All Over The World, in the great town of Murphy, Texas. I have spent some time with them before and they are always gracious hosts. They even sing love songs to each other while performing karaoke and it’s quite inspiring. They warm my heart. They are better known on the Internet as Pearannoyed and Bob_Tomato, but tonight, they’ll simply be Amy and Andrew.

Before the show even starts, Amy says that she misses Ryno’s old look and says, “C’mon - Ryno in a suit?” The only thing I can think of is how much his entrance reminds me of Arsenio Hall’s old entrance. Hell, Randall even stole the dog pound from poor Arsenio.

Tonight is love song night. Andrea Bocelli and producer David Foster are the guest coaches for the night. Amy is immediately impressed because according to her, they understand music and vocal production in a way that most pop vocalists don’t. It seems like David Foster will be much more harsh on the remaining contestants than usual as he said if they can’t cut it in his studio, they’re gone.

Up first is Katharine and Ryno is trying to get over the “Kat” nickname. There’s one problem. We already have a Kat as in Katie Holmes and that nickname for her is even silly. Katharine is going to sing Whitney Houston’s I Have Nothing which David Foster originally wrote. One thing I noticed about Katharine is that she’s the second tallest member left. Only Taylor towers above her. Poor Chris and Elliot. Memo to Katharine. I know you’re young. But even when doing the interviews, you need to wear make-up. Remember how many folks are watching. The first shot of Katharine is her boobs smooshed together. But she looks very long and glamorous in her yellow gown. Poor Chris and Elliot. Some people might say what Randy, Simon, and Paula have said all along, that you can’t out Whitney, Whitney. But I think this is Katharine’s way of saying that she has a good voice and isn’t scared to sing with the big dogs. She shouts a bit too much, but I still think it was a good and memorable performance, and when you’re in the first spot, it needs to be memorable. Amy says that she amazingly likes her tonight. She’s singing full out and it sounds good. Like me, Andrew noticed the cleavage and says she’s trying to out-cleavage Paula. I don’t think anyone can do that. He says he didn’t like the beginning, but thought she got going and kept her voice under control and ended it well. Randall says it was a good song choice, but the song was too big for her. And he made the Whitney Houston reference I stated earlier. Paula says she’s stunning but she tried to oversing and fell flat a bit. Simon says she’s not as good as Whitney Houston and it was a little cabaret. She took that criticism very well and that should earn her some votes.

Elliot is next and he’s looking very Joe Average even though he’s wearing a nice suit. The tie is a bit wacky. But he’s singing Donny Hathaway’s A Song For You and this could be special if he pulls it off. All he has to do is sing it decently and I think he’ll win folks over. In my opinion, it’s the best I’ve heard him. Just really good. He did Donny proud. Amy says that she was impressed at how big his voice is but was disapponted with the last section of the song. Andrew pretty much agreed with his wife and says that it was going gangbusters and it was like he downshifted to third gear. But they both did enjoy it. Randall says the arrangement was confusing, but Elliot was dope and the bomb. Paula is crying and says that he moved her. She also calls him handsome, which is a stretch, but the woman was moved. Simon says that tonight in parts it was superb.

Kellie Pickler has some ground to make up here and she hasn’t even started. You don’t expect her to knock it out of the park, but she needs to. And for some reason she looks more Kelly Bundy than Kellie Pickler. She’s singing Unchained Melody which I can’t imagine can be good. This is also one of Simon’s favorite songs. Amy says she doesn’t dig the hair. David Foster said earlier that if sung without emotion, the song can be quite boring. And it is. Amy calls the presentation “dullsville”. Andrew agrees with the both of us and says it is really bad and boring. He says her performance reminded him of a deer in headlights. Randall says the only thing good was the high note and calls it strange. Paula says she didn’t raise the bar. Simon says it deserves tears, but for a different reason, and not the same reason Elliot drew Paula’s tears.

Andrew Will Hate Me For Posting This, But It’s Simply The Greatest Picture Of All Time

Paris Bennett is doing Striesand’s The Way We Were tonight. Wait. Katharine McPhee sings Whitney and Paris sings Barbara? Paris’ hair is short and feathered out. Paris picks the show back up after Kellie’s performance. She’s much too young to be singing this song like she is. Another really good performance by young Paris. Amy loves the short hair and says the vocal was “Wow!” She thinks Paris sounded mature. Andrew says he was glad she didn’t overdo it, but at the same time, she could’ve done more with it. He was waiting for powerhouse and he didn’t get it. Randall says he liked it. Paula thinks she oversang it a bit, but it was the best female vocal tonight. Simon says it was very good but a bit old fashioned.

Taylor is singing Just Once which seems like the most perfect song he could sing tonight. Maybe this will be his comeback night. My mother told me this weekend that she thought Taylor looked like George Clooney. Maybe if you stab both eyes with a butter knife and look through the blood, I can see it. Taylor starts a bit slow, but the song does start a bit slow. Once he hit the chorus it got much better, but he doesn’t seem like he’s on his A game tonight. He does pick it up at the end, but he really missed out on this one. Amy says it started a little pitchy, but he picked it up and sold it on that last time through the chorus. Andrew says he looks like Captain Kangaroo. He says that the key change was good, the ending wasn’t bad, and the beginning sucked. How’s that for a nutshell? Randall says it was weird karaoke for him. Paula says it wasn’t her favorite song but says he looks handsome as heck. Simon says he looks uptight and called it a hotel lounge like performance.

Last but not least is Chris Daughtry singing Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman and with his voice, he could probably do this one some justice. That weird charisma is back this week. He has the glare back as well. He’s simply the most consistent of the bunch, and he doesn’t stray here. The vocals are on par and it’s my second favorite performance after Elliot’s. Amy says she doesn’t know if she would’ve picked this one for him and also that she didn’t like it until the break when he started singing bigger. Andrew says, and I quote, “Eh, it wasn’t that great of a performance.” Randall says he loved it. Paula says she loved it about 10 times. Simon says it was a good song choice and a great performance.

I think if anyone other than Kellie leaves, it’s pure injustice. She was by far, and when I say by far, we’re talking in miles, the worst singer tonight. Elliot was my favorite of the night and this young man deserves to sing another day.

If you want to send in questions for me to ask my dear mother on finale night during our American Idol recap, send me an e-mail at roheblius(at sign)gmail.com.

Previous weeks

The Top 12
And Then There Were 11
And Then There Were 10
And Then There Were 9
And Then There Were 8
And Then There Were 7

Now that my new favorite television network, The SOAP Network, is showing episodes of Beverly Hills 90210, I’m going to be reviewing the most memorable episodes of all time. I had this idea because I wanted to blog the episode where Dylan gets married and loses his wife on the same day. SOAP was showing the college episodes on the weekend, and I desperately waited for this episode to come on. We were probably about 4 episodes away and they decided to stop showing them on the weekends. So it’ll be several months before I’ll be able to see it and write about it.

However, the episode that made me a fan for life is the one I’m writing about today. I never saw the original airings of the first season, but then something happened that made me quite interested in this show. When summer came, they started airing episodes where pretty much every single one was filmed at the Beverly Hills Beach Club, which meant that scantily clad women were on every show. This was a bonanza. It caught my eye quickly and I started watching. But soon, the summer was over and they were going back to school. Before going back to school, there was a camping trip to be taken, and it was this show that hooked me.

Just to back track a bit, here’s where thing stand storyline wise.

Brenda broke up with Dylan, mostly because she had sex with him and missed her period, only to find out she was just late. This starts a landslide of bad luck for Dylan.

The Walsh’s thought they were leaving Beverly Hills back to Minnesota so Andrea wanted to give Brandon a gift. When she said “tada”, and said the gift was her, he looked like he was about to puke. But soon thereafter, his hormones got the best of him and he took her up on her offer, only to come to his senses (and her senses too) when they found out the Walsh’s weren’t moving.

Kelly hit on a gay dude and didn’t know it and was deeply insulted when he didn’t want to sleep with her. Slut.

Donna has a learning disorder and is starting to like Young David who is annoying, but got to know her better in acting class.

Steve is barely treading water here, as the only thing he really did of consequence, other than a quick mention that he was adopted was get together an illegal poker game at the Beverly Hills Beach Club.

And now, it’s time to go camping. The difference between Steve Sanders and Brandon Walsh is immediately shown as Steve tries to get Donna to lessen the load by taking things out her luggage because she is bringing way too much. Donna is flustered until Brandon says that she doesn’t need any of her makeup in his opinion and kisses her on the cheek. Immediately she consents. Dylan isn’t going because his mother is in town and they are supposed to hang out, but in a major swerve he is now going on the trip because she dissed him. And the Brenda/Dylan we like each other, we don’t like each other storyline continues. Dylan’s white t-shirt tucked into the blue jeans with the brown belt is overdoing it a bit with the James Dean look, but it was at this time where the comparrisons started. Because Dylan was a last minute addition to the trip, Brenda emptied her luggage that she shared with Brandon and forgot to repack Brandon’s hiking boots. Precursor to some anger I bet.

Their trip is derailed because of rain and they are stopped at the Motel 6 of all wooden cabin like hotels. Ah, much more quickly than I thought, Brandon can not get dry firewood because Brenda left his boots. Because of all the sadness and gloom, Steve wants to get liquor. David and Donna go with him after everyone else turns him down, including Dylan who used to have a problem. But before he could turn him down himself, Brenda speaks for him, making him look like less than a man. Then Brandon gives Brenda the business about his boots again, and Brenda tries to ask him how she was supposed to fit them in when he made her pack clothes for Dylan. Because Dylan is sensitive right now, he goes outside and calls himself the “cosmic jinx”. I’m not making this up. First commercial.

Brenda follows Dylan outside and he tells her that he doesn’t want to ruin the party any more than he already has. They meet a newlywed couple who show them that they don’t mind being caught in the rain because they can spend time with each other. Brenda gives the Brenda face. which is kind of like a smile caught up in a smirk. Steve can’t get beer for double the price, so he asks the oldest looking man and woman in the world to buy it for him. The oldest man and woman ever double cross Steve, take his money, and probably take the beer too. Steve, looking all of a 35 year old man playing a high school junior, is perplexed and seems down for the count. Brandon and Andrea go to ask the newlyweds for dry firewood and the newlyweds give Brandon and Andrea a lesson on the virtues of love. And then they nearly rip off each other’s clothes while Brandon and Andrea leave. The group of 90210’ers discuss the meaning of life and Andrea agrees with Kelly that love is the answer. Brenda gives the Brenda face again. They use the newlyweds as an example of how love rules the world. Then the female newlywed comes in crying saying that her new husband is an idiot and we go to commercial again.

This only proves Dylan’s theory that love muddles up everything. The female newlywed says that she hadn’t yet told her new husband that she was pregnant, waiting only to tell him at the right time, until he told her he doesn’t want to have kids. And she then walked out on him. The husband comes to the door and Brandon does the worst and most misplaced Ricky Ricardo impersonation in history. The newlywed husband doesn’t understand anything as he’s not smartened up on the fact his wife is pregnant even though everyone else knows. Donna then asks if anyone knows any good divorce songs. Kelly talks about her divorced parents as does Steve and then Dylan. Then Donna says that it takes two to tangle, before Andrea corrects her. Newlywed husband sticks his foot in his mouth again by saying that he wanted zero children. The woman newlywed gives him the news that she’s pregnant and Dylan flips again and leaves. And again, Brenda follows him. I didn’t know James Dean always felt sorry for himself. Dylan’s thoughts on marriage aren’t all that positive considering his mother is a “looney toon” and his father is in jail. Yep, that would do it to me too. This entire deal is just Dylan’s way of saying that he wants Brenda and she’s not there for him. The newlyweds are happy together again. Dylan yells at the newlyweds for not being so sure that they want children and that it’s not the baby’s fault for being born. And yet again, he leaves. No Brenda face this time. Dylan takes a walk feeling oh so sorry for himself and he’s shivering and pulls out a small bottle out of his jean jacket. He guzzles this small bottle down and grips it like it was something he wanted to cherish forever. Last commercial break.

Brandon thinks Dylan went to sleep in the van, but can not find him. He finds Dylan sleeping on a rock. Who can sleep on a rock? Dylan shows Brandon the two little bottles he chugged and said he got them from the honeymoon suite. He says that he puked, but it wasn’t the alcohol that made him puke, but everything else in his life. He is still wearing the white t-shirt and there is no dirt stains from sleeping on the rocks. Dylan says that his mother let him down yet again and he let his guard down. She must be a bad mother. Brandon lends his support to Dylan and they decide to take a hike. But wait, Brandon doesn’t have his hiking boots. Brandon says, “I wish I had my hiking boots.” Uh oh. They rock climb like two professionals, looking Spiderman esque while scaling the big rocks. Brandon then slips and might die. He hangs onto the side of the rock and loses his shoe. For some reason his face is all cut up. Dylan reaches his hand out to Brandon who is holding onto the side of the rock. Shoeless Brandon reaches up and Dylan and his 10 inch biceps pull him up, thus saving Brandon’s life. And finally, Dylan’s white shirt is dirty. Brandon says, “Man I thought my number was up,” and thanks Dylan for saving his life. The rest of the crew is waiting for Brandon and Dylan to come back from their hike so they can continue their trip. Dylan finds the newlyweds and tells them he’s sorry for giving them grief and they tell him that he has given them much to think about. To end this show in the oddest way possible, Andrea asks Brandon if he feels ok, and he says he feels “incredibly” ok, and lifts her up in a romantic bear hug. The end.

Watching that back, it wasn’t quite the episode that I remember, but it did have the cheesy, Brandon helps Dylan come to grips, Dylan saves Brandon’s life ending which is quite memorable. Why was this episode the one that made me a fan? I have no clue, but it did.

I don’t know who answered the door at 7AM. Probably Young Randall or Eddy since they actually got some decent sleep. I know it wasn’t Dom or me because we were barely in our third hour of sleep and there’s no way either of us was going to be awaken by a knock on the door. But it wasn’t some hot and young tenderoni at the door, like some of the guys who read my tease at the end of the last post probably think. Not at 7AM. It was Albert. What the hell was he already doing up? It had barely been 12 hours since he was way too drunk to go out. And while he did gather himself in fine fashion, he still went to bed at the same time as I did. The reason he was in our room was a problem I had anticipated with a bunch of guys sharing 3 or 4 rooms. It was a problem of epic proportions. Daily habits would need to change. The foundation of ones morning routine would be altered. It was what I will call the toilet epidemic.

Albert had to use the bathroom. Someone in his room was using his toilet. So rather than wait, he searched for an open toilet. And he found our room. He wasn’t obscene about it. He was rather nice about it. But what else was he going to say? “I’m going to bomb your bathroom,” could’ve been his choice of words and it wouldn’t have just been a clever statement. It would’ve been the truth. He simply stated facts. There were no open bathrooms except our virgin toilet. And he was going to deflower it in violent fashion. After he put his stamp on it, it was as if our room was an open invitation. Men standing in a single file line marched through our room to use and abuse our facilities. After they were done, so was the bathroom.

How can you go back to sleep after something like that? I couldn’t sleep much longer anyway because I was going to meet Aubrey, my college cohort, and her friends at the ESPN Zone for lunch in a few hours. I wanted to get a workout in before leaving and everyone thought I was crazy. They were going to breakfast and probably hitting the casinos to gamble before we were to reconvene later in the night. Eddy and Randy were going to Caeser’s to check out Nike Town, so I was on my own working out. I went to the workout area and as I walked towards the gym area, a woman asked me to pay $15 to utilize the “spa” facilities. All I wanted to do was use the workout equipment but she was adamant that I pay her $15. I reached into my pocket for my wallet which wasn’t there. And rather than go back to my room to get my wallet, (we weren’t charging anything back to the room because of the way we paid some of the groomsmen for it, and Albert even banned all porn charging to the room knowing his friends very well) I figured that I could save myself $15 and just do some push ups back at the room. And that’s what I did.

Aubrey and her friends Reina and Carla were arising from a night of clubbery and Aubrey said they would meet me in New York, New York at the ESPN Zone, but since I was close by, I was just going to see how busy it was and report back. It wasn’t that busy at all. While waiting for Aubrey and her friends, I played a boxing simulation game that isn’t quite a true simulation. It’s motion sensored so it’s supposed to be able to mimic your body movements on the screen. It doesn’t dodge punches very well. And it wasn’t just me because the game is quite predictable and while I was dodging, it wasn’t and I got knocked out by the third guy. I could beat Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson’s Punchout with decent ease. And this game is no Mike Tyson’s Punchout but it was still fun. Aubrey called and they were walking into the hotel so I decided to get our table.

Aubrey’s friends were quite nice and we dicsussed everything under the sun including marriage, dating, websites, Epinions, Aubrey’s career and everything else we could think of that was relevant. Aubrey told me about a football player who hit on her at the club the previous night and if I knew who he was and I did know exactly who he was. It had been a while since I had seen Aubrey since her move to Phoenix and it was nice to see her. Who knew we’d both be in Vegas at the same time?

SJSU And Bob Rucker Until We Die!

Back at the hotel with the fellas, there was this talk of heading out to buy Albert a present. This present wasn’t just any present. It was a gift that would keep on giving and one that would circle through most of the men who were there. Marc, Eddy, JJ, and Dom were going to get this gift so I figured that I would go as well. The place we were going to wasn’t ok for children. It wasn’t ok to run into your parents at this establishment. And it’s pretty sick for someone to go to this place everyday or have a membership to. It was the Adult Video Expo, or whatever it was called. But that’s pretty descriptive in it’s own right. We were getting Albert porn. We were getting him something called Pirates which I immediately wondered if it was a take on Pirates Of The Caribbean, and if it was, why wasn’t it called Ass Pirates Of the Caribbean? Fast forward about 20 minutes and there I was, standing in line with this movie in my hands as I was the one nominated to buy this great piece of cinema since I wasn’t going to buy anything else. I walked up to the register and there were two women there, one actually quite attractive, trying to sell me on how good this movie was. They didn’t need to sell me anymore since it was in my hands already, but they tried to sound like experts. They told me that it was supposed to be really good and that it was filmed for like an actual movie and how the acting was supposed to be good. I thought about asking them what their favorite scenes were, but thought against it and just gave them the $60 (yes, $60 bucks for porn), and we walked out of that place with Albert’s gift in hand.

Albert loved the gift and like magnets, 10 men all tried to grab it at once to take it to one of the rooms to throw into a laptop and immediately watch. Oh yes, this was a bachelor party. It was only late afternoon, and we hadn’t even gone to dinner, hit the club, or gone to the worst strip club in the history of life yet.

To be continued ….

There are different ways to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Last weekend, the way the Nakamoto family did it was to hold the first Nakamoto Japanese American Idol. Ok, we really didn’t do it to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. But Easter is a huge holiday in the eyes of the family and along with the Easter egg hunt for the children and the enormous amounts of food, my dear mother put together the karaoke contest of all karaoke contests. This contest was going to have a cash prize of $50 and we were going to play American Idol. This wasn’t a sloppy production either. My dear mother was going to play Ryan Seacrest. And she annointed Nak as Simon, Carol as Paula, and I got to be the dog of all dogs, Randy. We had theme music, a karaoke machine, and about 40 people in attendance as a huge dog pound.

My dear mother opened the show doing her Ryan Seacrest monologue which consisted of lots of homosexual jokes about herself (being Ryan Seacrest and all). This woman is spry. She mentioned that she as Ryan Seacrest really had a crush on Ace. She introduced last year’s winner, my son Double Bri to sing and he did his famous version of I Can Only Imagine, originally performed by MercyMe. You really don’t have to ask Double Bri more than once to get in front of people and do his thing, and he performed while his little cousin Brandon was sitting with him and rockin’ back and forth. Double Bri received a standing ovation and the judges were quite happy.

Double Bri Starts Off The Show

Ryan introduced Kim Nakamoto as the night’s first contestant and Kim had a secret song for all of us. She didn’t need any music. She didn’t need any lyrics (the karaoke machine was hooked up to the television). She was singing acapella. Her song was one of her young son Brandon’s favorites. It was the theme song to Elmo’s World. Having two young children myself, this song is still embedded in my head. Kim started off with, “La la la la, la la la la, Elmo’s world,” before erupting into laughter. She couldn’t even sing anymore because she was laughing so hard. Ryan waited for her to come back, but Kim was done. It was the first time in Japanese American Idol history that someone walked off the stage in laughter.

Kim Sings To Brandon, At Least For 15 Seconds

The second contestant was Auntie Susie and she sang an oldie called You’ll Lose A Good Thing. She as well didn’t need any lyrics, but we didn’t have them even if she did. It was a song that Nini described as “short lyrically, with lots of chorus”. Now this is not a stab at any one of the contestants, but after watching all of the performances, I do know why the real American Idol cuts the songs down to a minute and a half. Sitting through five minute karaoke performances wasn’t the easiest job I’ve ever had. When it was all said and done though, Auntie Susie received some nice words from the judges and Simon (sarcastically or not?) said it was the best performance thus far, though it was the first finished performance.

Simon Declared Susie The Best Of The Night

Randy, Paula, And Simon

Caytano was our last official contestant and he decided to perform Rick James’s Superfreak. This was a tough song for Caytano as he was having trouble keeping up with Rick. And he couldn’t get that, “hey, hey, hey, hey!” part down to save his life. However, he scored with the crowd by dancing in a semi-freaky manner with Ryan and saying the line, “I really love to taste her” with a straight face. Randy said, “From dog to dog, dude to dude, it was a’ight,” while Paula loved it again, and Simon bashed it saying it was simply “karaoke”. I’m just glad he didn’t say that Caytano should’ve been singing on a cruise ship, or in an Italian restaurant.

Caytano’s A Superfreak~!

Ryan surprised us all by grabbin’ the mic and singing My Guy. It was the shortest performance of the night and received a “standing O” from the dog. Paula again gave it praise, while Simon was not so kind. I actually don’t remember what he said. All I know is that I booed. Actually, I might not have remembered because I might have booed before even a word came out of his mouth.

Then it was up to the audience to vote. There was no 1-800 number. There wasn’t a text messaging service. It was the old fashioned pen and paper. Daniel Powter’s Bad Day blasted from the iPod which is also known as the song used when people are eliminated on American Idol. After all the votes were tallied and the judges gave their last feedback, Ryan announced that the winner of the $50 and the First Annual Nakamoto Japanese American Idol was in fact was “Shoeless” Mike Lopez. Even though Ryan wanted more people to participate, it was a great show. The only thing that could’ve made it better was if Auntie Margie performed I’m Too Sexy.

“Shoesless” Mike Lopez Is Your Japanese American Idol

Cliff Huxtable once told a story about how he would receive wacky gifts from his children on Father’s Day. And the wackiest of them all was a wide tie that had lights that flashed Miami on it. During a medical convention where he had to get up and speak, he was dressed to impress and when he went to find a tie, Theo came up and asked him to wear this tie that flashed Miami. I was in a familiar situation this weekend.

A couple days before Easter, Double Bri handed me an object that I didn’t recognize at first glance. It was red and grey and resembled a flower pot of some sort. But it wasn’t a flower pot. It was a bucket hat. About 5 years ago, I bought a Jordan bucket hat for fun but never wore it. It was hideous. And Double Bri remembered that hat and he and his brother bought me another one for Easter. Thankfully, his mother said it was on sale for $1.99. It was a great gift because there was thought put into it. So I decided to show it off here to you.

I Wore This To Lunch Today

Poor Bucky. Was it unfortunate that he left before Acey? Yes. Was it high way robbery? No. Was he going to win it all? No way. So while young Acey, with the pasty white arms is still around, Bucky wasn’t going to last much longer anyway. Speaking of Acey, the man needs a tan like nobody’s business. It’s probably even money that he or Elliot will go this week. But if he lasts more than 2 weeks, it will be a travesty and the Idol backlash will start.

The Hot List
1. Chris Daughtry - He showed off his voice last week.
2. Katharine McPhee - She’s wildly inconsistent, but she’s the closest thing to Kelly Clarkson they have.
3. Paris Bennett - She needs a big night.
4. Taylor Hicks - Where’s the Taylor we’ve grown to know and love?
5. Elliot Yamin - He’s the most unloved good singer in Idol history.
6. Kellie Pickler - If this were an intelligence competition, she’d be the William Hung of the group.
7. Ace Young - Two words. Tanning bed.

The Defeated
1. Melissa McGhee
2. Kevin Covais
3. Lisa Tucker
4. Mandisa
5. Bucky Covington

Idoling All Over The World takes us to Arlington, Virginia and my good friend Krissieliz’s habitat. Krissieliz knows a thing or two about music as she plays classical piano. She decided to allow us into her humble abode, but that was before she knew Rodney Stewart was going to be the guest tonight. She has much love for Rodney and his music. Here’s her words.

I think he is disturbingly angular and probably a perv.  And I can’t think of any songs of his that I like.  Now that’s saying something, considering I just downloaded Air Supply’s Greatest Hits.

Ok, maybe she’s not a huge Rodney fan. But at least she doesn’t hold her tongue. She also covered her rear by stating that she is horrible at making predictions. Well, that makes all of us.

In the next few weeks, I’ll have some great guest critics including the husband and wife couple of Andrew and Amy, my sister and her boyfriend, Shoeless Mike Lopez, a return appearance by The Bito~!, and maybe even good old Blake Highsmith. In case you don’t remember Blake, he’s a picture of him. Actually, how can anyone forget?

Blake Savol

Ryno Seacrest comes out in a tie that Krissieliz says is much too skinny and looks like a knee sock around his neck. Ryno says that American Idol is going smart with the American Songbook. Rodney Stewart is going to do what Stevie Wonder, Kenneth Rogers, and Queen already did. Try to lie to us and tell us how good these singers really are. The good thing I can say about Rodney is that unlike Kenneth, he looks like he’s supposed to look, with that wacky hair do we all know and love. And he also has a little hot future wife who looks like a younger and blonder version of Rachel Hunter.

Chris is first with What A Wonderful World. He seems to want to show off his vocals again. Chris comes out with his shirt rolled up all the way to his biceps. I was waiting for him to show us his 24 inch pythons. He sings the song very well. His voice has a really good tone to it. Krissieliz thought other wise. She says that he’s soo (no, not a typo, she made the word so into a few syllables) boring.  She added that the too-short shirtsleeves were more interesting than this performance.  And his vocals were just blah.  She put the exclamation point on his performance by saying that maybe he’s not as good a vocalist as people think. Safe to say we disagreed on his performance, but I can see where she’s coming from. It wasn’t blow away, but solid in my mind. Let’s see what the judges say. Randall says that he’s the bomb. Paula says that he broke out of his mold. And Simon says he proved that he can change up his style.

Paris is next with Foolish Things. This style seems to suit Paris very well. She’s not going out on a limb like Chris did. Paris looks much older tonight, which I guess is the theme. I think she’s trying to look classy, but she looks like she’s going into a job interview. Her voice is rock solid and in my opinion, her performance is more interesting and more polished than Chris’s. Krissieliz says that her hair extensions are way too long and the suit does not “suit” her at all, calling it her Easter outfit.  But then she says it was a beautiful performance, though she wonders it will resonate with the young (cough) audience. Randall says it was her greatest night ever and so “da bomb”. Paula says it reminded her of the audition and they all fell in love with her audition. Simon says she talks like Minnie Mouse, yet she sings in a very grown up way and called her performance terrific.

Taylor is next and he looks almost as old as Rodney. He’s singing Sam Cooke. Krissieliz is very happy that it’s Taylor’s turn. She jumped up and threw her fist in the air while clicking her heels. It was quite the scene. She also thanks the good Lord above that Taylor is singing something more uptempo. She disagrees with me and my comment about how he almost looks as old as Rodney and calls his looks, dashing.  Taylor is getting back to the OG Taylor with this performance and it makes me happy. But not as happy as Krissieliz. She says that she wants to have his babies.  So we’ve had MJ who wanted to have his black babies. And now Krissieliz wants to have his (white) babies. And my dear mother said she wanted to jump Acey’s bones. This is a wacky group of critics I have. She called his performance “smoove” and thinks he should win. Randall says he’s blown away by the fact that everyone is in their element and says it was hot. Paula says he’s in the zone to go the distance. And Simon says it was magic.

Rodney

Elliot is going to sing It Had To Be You. I really love his vocals. But people do not like this young man. Or they don’t like him as much as they like the others. Ok, so the man isn’t the handsomest out there. But dude can sing. Even Krissieliz is giving him a beating. She calls his mugging at the camera, creepy. And says that she wouldn’t want to kiss him. Elliot is so clumsy with the mic and his performance, but his vocals are on target. This man deserves to be in the top 4. Krissieliz agreed with me that his vocals were excellent, but it was only a great performance when she closed her eyes. Randall says it was an excellent song choice. Paula’s boobs are hanging out. Wow~! She says that he’s in a zone and he’s capable of winning. Krissieliz also noticed Paula’s humongous boobs. But she wasn’t as happy to see them as me. Simon says he’s concerned about Elliot even though it was a good vocal. Speaking of boobs, they showed one of Tom Cruise’s old women, Mimi Rogers. I’ve seen a movie with Mimi Rogers where most of the movie she’s getting a topless massage. Let’s just say that it was a very popular rental when I used to work at Blockbuster.

Rodney called Kellie a “firecracker”. She’s singing Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered. Ok, this might be her week to go. It was very average on a night when everyone else was on their game. And for about the fourth time this season, she looks like a completely different human being. I’m convinced that there are about 4 different people playing her. It’s not a bad performance, but just not as good as everyone else’s. Krissieliz thinks the girl can sing, but her personality is wearing thin.  She sounds kind of pitchy and twangy. And totally missed the beat a few times.  Randall says it started good but got pitchy in the middle. Paula says she looks exquisite, which means that she sucked vocally in Paula talk. Simon says it was a boring song and it didn’t suit her.

Acey is singing That’s All and he seems overwhelmed. Acey has his hair slicked back into a bun. Not a ponytail, but a bun and he’s wearing a suit. Ok, it’s not a bun. It’s a short ponytail. Forgive me Janet. I would’ve rather seen the beanie with the suit. Acey hits a nice falsetto near the end, but the performance wasn’t all that special. Krissieliz says he has real pretty hair.  Why did he slick it back?  Ick.  (Yes, she really said “ick”. I didn’t make that up.) She finishes by saying it was a lackluster performance and it sounded way better in the rehearsal snippets. Randall says he wishes he would’ve done the entire song in falsetto or “false” as he calls it. Paula says it’s a magical night and he did great. Simon says it wasn’t bad and it was a little nasally and called it charming. Acey nearly did a backflip at the almost compliment. I hate to say this, but I think he saved himself yet again.

Katharine is closing the show. She’s the main event tonight. I think that whatever she does tonight, her hair needs to hide her ears. Her ears are very huge. Neil Sedaka would say that her face is ear delicious. Ok, her hair is pulled back and the ears don’t look that bad. Her gear makes her shoulders look huge though. She is so hit or miss with her clothes. But you can’t stop the shine. Her singing tonight is excellent. Krissieliz says Katherine is lovely and she loved how she tinkered with the song a bit.  It was her favorite female performance of the night even with the ill-fitting, bulky blazer.  And she finished off by exclaming how wonderful her make-up was. Randall says this was her element. Paula says she is falling in love with the essence of who Katherine is all over again. Simon says she made the others look like good amatuers. He says it was like she was in a different league and she was a returning pro.

I hate to say this, but Elliot, even though I think he’s great, has a good chance at going home this week. And if by chance, Acey and Kellie stick around, poor Paris might be the odd one out, even though she was fabulous.

Previous weeks

The Top 12
And Then There Were 11
And Then There Were 10
And Then There Were 9
And Then There Were 8

Double Bri and Double J are rockin’ their b-boy stances and trying to mean mug, but they need to work on the mean mug. I told them they had to say, “Yeaaaaaaaaah boyeeeeeeee” and they did.

Kanye Would Be Proud

These are just my thoughts ladies and gentlemen. Just my thoughts.

• Happy Easter~!
• New York, Las Vegas, and Las Vegas again, all in a matter of three months. Not a bad gig.
• I do enjoy that James Blunt song You’re Beautiful but that has to be the most offensive “F” word uttered in pop music history, and this comes from someone who enjoys Tupac Shakur.
• On Surreal Life why are they putting a straight jacket on Sherman Helmsley and showing us way too much Alexis Arquette?
• The next shirt I buy will simply have a ~! (tilde bang) on it and nothing else. Don’t believe me?
  
  

  Feel The Bang

• Brooke Hogan Sings!
• Speaking of Brooke and her brother Nick, I’m not sure how they will ever be regular human beings with those wacky parents they have.
• My 6 year old has figured out how to program our Tivo to record Scooby Doo and that makes me very proud.
• When I asked his 5 year old brother what kind of pie he would like for dessert, he uttered, “Poontang Pie!”, which he learned from his favorite wrestler, the Rock. Thankfully he has at least 10 years before he truly knows what that means.
• Speaking of Double J, when he asks me a question and I say that I don’t know, he says that I should give him an estimate.
• There’s no better network than the Soap Network, if only because they’re showing Beverly Hills 90210 all over again. I can’t get enough.
• Is it me, or does LL Cool J look prettier than J. Lo on the Control Myself video?
• I can’t get these lyrics out of my head:
  Cause you had a bad day
  You’re taking one down
  You sing a sad song just to turn it around
• Did my Golden State Warriors even play basketball this season?
• Second to 90210 reruns, The Ultimate Fighter is the greatest show on television.
• Martin Lawrence is 41. Daaaaaaamn.
  
  

  Marty Mar

• So NoTORIous was laborious to watch and I deleted it from my Tivo after only 5 glorious minutes. Donna Martin didn’t really graduate. She looks like an entirely different human being and I was furious.
• I’m a Barry Bonds fan until I die.