It was season 3 of Beverly Hills 90210 on Fox and the crescendo was building. Brenda and Donna went to Paris on their summer vacation and Brenda went mostly because her mother and father wanted her to get away from Dylan for the summer. While away, Dylan and Kelly bonded over their hots for each other and over Kelly’s new baby sister. Brenda wasn’t without guilt as near the end of her trip in Paris with Donna, she met an American who thought she was French and she played it off quite well. This American was later known as Superman in the show Lois And Clark, but this was his first big break. That man’s name was Dean Cain. Dylan and Kelly had to cool their summer romance when Brenda came back and Kelly felt like the third wheel. Brenda and Dylan took a bit of a break. Like the man that he is, Dylan was feeling pressure from both girls and high tailed it out of Beverly Hills to think. The girls renewed their friendship after wanting nothing to do with each other and every episode became “Dylan in the middle” (where he at? in the middle). On this night, Fox promised us that Dylan would choose. It was one of the biggest episodes ever. The only tease they gave us was a scene in the pool and all you heard was Dylan’s voice saying, “I want you, I’ve always wanted you.”

In the mean time, Brandon had dated two different girls, one being a sophomore to his senior. And he also decked her boyfriend played by a young David Arquette. He was also starting to have quite a gambling problem. Steve was expelled from school for trying to change his grades in the computer systems. Young David was only a junior, but loaded up his year so he could graduate with Donna and her friends. He was also starting his recording career. (You’re so precious to me, am I precious to you?) Mel and Jackie (David dad and Kelly’s mom) were newly married with child, but Mel cheated on her and their life was in flux. Andrea was hit by a car and had a wacky relationship budding with Steve, as well as her own current wacky relationship with Brandon. And Jack McKay, Dylan’s estranged father was trying to get out of jail early and be thrown back into his life. You are now caught up.

Dylan and his dad, Jack McKay are in a limo and Jack says it’s a present from his lawyers. Jack was in jail, but all of a sudden, had a chance for parole and he jumped at it. They agree to host a party to celebrate Jack’s possible short and new found freedom.

Mel (David’s dad) got caught sleeping with his assitant and Jackie is going to boot him from the house. This is only a few months after they had Erin. David and Kelly talk about their future living situation and David is feeling pressure not only from not knowing where he’s going to live, but also from trying to graduate early with his friends. Dylan calls Kelly to invite her to his father’s party and she accepts.

Jim and Brenda argue over Dylan’s father. Brenda argues that maybe Jack has changed and this doesn’t make Jim happy. Dylan calls Brenda as well, but Jim vetoes the party. Jim says that Jack McKay was in jail for insider trading and was connected to bribery and money laundering and of course, he has mob connections.

Steve is off to the basketball game and Brandon has to work. Brandon wants to bet on the game using Nat as his go between. Andrea is thinking of a hair color change and her odd relationship with Steve continues. They never ended up hooking up on this show, but they sure the hell teased it.

Kelly is the only one who showed up to Dylan’s father’s party and Kelly gives him the bad news that Brenda isn’t coming either. Everytime I see Jack McKay, I see the dad from Hogan’s Family. Oh, he was the dad from Hogan’s Family.

Who Does Dylan Choose?

Dylan tells Kelly that he wants to go swimming and even though she doesn’t have a swimsuit, the shops at the hotel where the party is being hosted are open, and she can buy one there. There’s a few semi-erotic underwater scenes and then they start making out. Now Kelly didn’t want to stay the night with him because of her friendship with Brenda, but she could make out in the swimming pool with him and that didn’t bother her conscience. Kelly asks him if Brenda would’ve shown up, would anything have been different. Like any man in the situation he simply said that she didn’t come. Kelly wants to be the only one, rather than just the other woman and Dylan says he’s chosen. And he chose Kelly. Kelly wants to tell Brenda that not only has Dylan chosen her, but also that they fooled around in the summer while Brenda was in Paris. Silly girl. And then they make out some more.

Dylan’s dad says that he’s pretty wiped out with all the court costs and lawyer fees, but that he saved a bit where no one could find it. He then asks Dylan about his trust fund. What a dad. Jack calls Jim Walsh to set up a meeting to talk about Dylan’s money. Even Brenda can see through Jack.

Young David asks his dad about his new extramarital affair and gives his father the third degree about marriage and being a father. Young David does not want to live with his dad in a bachelor pad. David is a mess and can’t even remember the last record he plays. That transitions into Donna saying that it was in fact Jeremy Jordan with “The Right Kind Of Love”. This song would become a 90210 staple. Jeremy Jordan … alright.

Dylan gives Brandon and Steve heat for missing his father’s party. They had excuses, just not real good ones. And he ends it with, “nice to know who your friends are.” That one hurt.

David joins Donna and Andrea who are coloring Andrea’s hair. Andrea wants to go wild and less geeky. Andrea says that David should just stay with Jackie and Kelly.

Brandon is upset because he bet on the basketball game through Nat and Nat forgot to call the bookie. Brandon tries to get the bookie’s phone number and not have to go through Nat, but Nat isn’t so easy to give it to him.

Dylan and his father want to dissolve the trust that Dylan’s mother created for him. Jim says that Dylan’s mother set it up to be irrevocable until his 21st birthday and then Jack orders Dylan out of the room so he can talk to Jim alone. He then says that Jim can’t protect Dylan from his own father.

Jack gets on the phone and is talking to someone about getting Dylan’s money out of the trust. He’s about to make a deal. They don’t call him Jack McKay for nothing. Dylan and Kelly decide to tell Brenda tomorrow after school.

Jackie invites David to stay with them so he doesn’t have to move in with Mel.

Dylan blows Brenda off when she asks him if he wants to do anything. Andrea comes in and asks David and Donna for their opinion on her new hair. It looks exactly the same. Steve knows what she did, only because of their wacky relationship they have and the fact that Steve knew Andrea wanted something done with her hair. But he doesn’t tell Brandon and Andrea gets upset at him.

In class, Dylan tells Brandon he’s sorry about questioning their friendship and also tells Brandon that he won’t be around the house anymore. Dylan and Kelly show up at Brenda’s house and they take a walk to tell Brenda about their new relationship. Kelly tries to touch Brenda’s hair and she throws a karate chop at Kelly’s arm. Brenda gives the performance of a lifetime shouting at them both and ends it by saying, “I hate you both! Never talk to me again!” And then, the most anticipated episode in the young history of 90210 ended.

I hipped. I hopped. I fanned. I towelled. I kachi-kachi’d. It was perfect. I was the star of practice. Even Hea Jin came over to give me praise and to ask me to dance on the stage with them next year and be one of the instructors. She said that for someone who had never danced at the Obon before, that I was the fastest learner of them all. Tawni was amazed. My mom was befuddled. Coach Dan was in awe. Then Hea Jin came over to give me what looked like a medal. She put it in my hands and there was some script on the back. It said, “This medal is for the best usage of kachi-kachi’s.” Even Hea Jin saw how hard I worked at perfecting my kachi-kachi’s. Slowly, I started showing off my medal, when Eddy Zucko knocked it out of my hands. We went nose to nose and toes to toes and he reared back and I reared back. Our fists were ready to fly. Then Ryland came over before we could throw punches and head butted Eddy right in the nachos. Immediately I woke up from my deep sleep.

I had dreamed about Obon greatness. I had won over Hea Jin. I was Michael Jackson. But my bubble had bursted when I woke up. I had practice later in the day and while I didn’t think I’d win over Hea Jin like in my dream, I was going to try my best. Yet I wasn’t so sure why I wanted to win her over. After she denied me from private lessons I should’ve been more pissed off than I was. Maybe I was in the wrong. I was ready to concede that. Maybe Hea Jin was a nice woman.

Hea Jin

The day was long and tiring and when I went to practice, I was worn out. I was also starting to feel a bit sick. I noticed that Lisa and her daughter Alexis were there and that made me happy. I was glad to see them come out. The regulars were also there and I noticed Uncle Richard had a blue tank top to soak through on this day rather than his gray one. I noticed Tawni and Shoesless Mike, Tomiko and the Coach, Annette and Billy, Nini and her children, Pat and Uncle Hankie, Mike, Kim and Brandon, Auntie Susie, Auntie Margie, and my parents. My kids were in tow as well. If I missed anyone, I apologize, but not for lack of trying to get them all right. We immediately went into the first dance and I was immediately lost. This was not going like my dream at all. It had only been a week since last practice, but it felt like about 5 years. It was if I never even practiced this simple dance before. After a few tries, I did get it down. I started to get more of the dances down and I did it by comparing things I know to what the choreography asked for. There’s one dance where you rotate your wrist a bit like Hulk Hogan getting ready to cup his ear to the crowd. I’m the only one who follows through and actually cups my ear though. There’s another dance where you put your hand in front of your eyes and wave it a few times like John Cena does, except no one else screams, “You can’t see me!” except for me. And my favorite one was where we did these windmill like movements with our arms. However, I was the only one singing, “Hip hop hooray, hooooo, heyyyyy, hooooo.” I did try to get Billy to start chanting like Naughty By Nature with me.

Young Bear In All His Glory

I felt like I was progressing. So I looked up to Hea Jin for approval. And she gave me that familiar giggle again. I thought I was doing well and expected maybe a smile, or a tip of the cap (ok, tip of the top of her hair), but that giggle bothered me. It made me feel less than worthy. So I decided that I was simply going to give her one more shot. I was going to work harder than the sweat trying to soak through Uncle Richard’s tank top. All for this woman’s approval. And if she didn’t give it to me, I was going to make her life hell.

We were on a fun dance and I was shimmying it up with the best of them. I was breaking necks. Hea Jin couldn’t diss me now. After it was over, I gave myself a standing ovation and then looked towards her. She slightly raised her eyebrows at me. She wrinkled her nose at me. And then out of all the things she could’ve done to me, she did the worst possible. She gave me the finger. No, not that finger. She motioned to me with her index finger like she wanted me to come towards her. As I walked over, she stepped off the stage and I thought right then and there she was going to hug me. But she didn’t. She told me that I was shimmying and shaking with the wrong leg and I was a bit off beat. She then said that unlike James Brown, I didn’t have a good foot. And also that my Michael Jackson leg kicks had no business in any Obon dance she’d ever seen before. I was appalled. My heart was broken. Worse than Nikolai.

That was it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. My favorite dance was next because I could finally use my kachi-kachi’s. I decided to kachi-kachi louder than ever. I kachi-kachi’d more obnoxiously than anyone could imagine. People stomped. I kachi-kachi’d. People clapped. I kachi-kachi’d. People sang. I kachi-kachi’d. And I flagrantly kachi-kachi’d in Hea Jin’s direction every chance I had. And then when she told us to put them away, not only did I not put them away, but I pulled out my fan and towel at the same time too. I was the only guy fanning, towelling, and kachi-kachi’ing at the same time during the last dance. I showed Hea Jin alright.

Kachi-Kachi

Right as I was about to leave, Hea Jin walked towards me and said that while she liked my energy, she didn’t like my attitude. Obon dancing was about beauty and style and grace, not violent kachi-kachi movements. I couldn’t do anything but walk away. She won round two. But as I looked back towards her, I knew exactly what I needed to do. And that was challenge her on her own home turf and at her own game. We were going to battle like Soc’s and Greasers.

This will be short and sweet as I’ll post more about Double Bri on his actual birthday.

His party was great and everyone had fun, but if there’s one memorable thing about the party, it was the dodgeball game that happened. Two things stood out.

1. Double J was left by his lonesome after all of his teammates were kicked out. The other team still had all their men. It was 4 against 1. Double J dodged, dropped to the grass, jumped, twisted, turned, and did everything to avoid getting hit and thus eliminated. And slowly but surely, he made the comeback of a dodgeball lifetime. He started to eliminate the players one by one. And in the end, he completed the comeback and eliminated the last player. Team Bees beat Team Nacho Libres in the greatest dodgeball comeback of all time.




2. On Double J’s team with Double Bri and Justy was my own dear mother. Yes, Double J and Double Bri’s grandmother played on their team. And you’d think that a woman who should have years and years of dodgeball experience on her side would be able to handle a bunch of 7 year olds. But that was not the case. However, she had a grand time.

Ready. Aim. Fire!

Honorable mention:

Double Bri opening up 6 water guns for his birthday was also memorable. Thankfully, we have a huge family and all of those guns are going to be getting some major action this summer. Thanks to all who came to the party and he had the time of his life. Again, I’ll have more about my near 7 year old in a couple days.

Early this morning I had a few things on my list to do before leaving for work.

1. Finish the dishes I started last night.


2. Let the kids sleep in because they were tired from a long family night.


3. Make their lunches.


4. Get them dressed.


5. Iron my clothes.


6. Watch Beverly Hills 90210 while simultaneously doing all of these things.

I knew it would be a long morning so I wasn’t quite as worried about getting them to science camp on time as I would had this been a school day. We took our time and I didn’t want to have a stressful morning. I was fine with it even though it would mean that my work day started really late. And I didn’t get upset at them one time the entire morning. Even though it took Double J ten minutes to get his shorts on. Even though it took Double Bri ten minutes to get his shirt on. Even though I had already poured Double J his cereal and had to then make him chicken nuggets (yes for breakfast). Even though they didn’t put their clothes away when asked to do so. Even though my wheat English muffins turned out to be old and thus all I had for breakfast was a scoop of peanut butter. I was calm. Fine. Relaxed even.

I gave Double Bri the keys to the car and told him to take his brother and get in. Of course, they both forgot their shoes. But it was ok. I gathered up the lunch boxes, my work computer, random papers, bills, and water to take with me and got in the car with them. Then I asked Double Bri a question that shouldn’t have been all that hard.

“Where are my keys?”

“Um, on your seat,” he said.

I looked around my seat and they were no where to be found. He even came up to the front to check and he couldn’t find it either. I told him to start looking and I would look more up front. He asked Double J to get off the seat so he could look but Double J was being lazy. I couldn’t find them.

“Both of you, get out of the car,” I ordered.

They both got out of the car and I searched the back seat and found them. Right underneath Double J’s carseat.

“How can you think you put them upfront when they were in the backseat?” I asked Brian.

“(Double) J didn’t get up when I asked him,” he said.

I was a bit flustered and just needed to cool down a bit. We lost about 10 minutes in time and I was going to be even later for work.

“How do you spell losing?” Brian asked as we drove away.

I told him and thought nothing of it. About a minute later, he flings a piece of paper over the passenger’s side seat. I picked it up and saw his near second grader sloppy handwriting.

“I am sorry for losing your kes,” it said. So what he forgot the Y in keys. No biggie. After that, I apologized to him for not only entrusting a near 7 year older with keys but for being angry when it wasn’t necessary. I’m not going to jinx him or anything, but I think he’s going to grow up very nicely.