I hipped. I hopped. I fanned. I towelled. I kachi-kachi’d. It was perfect. I was the star of practice. Even Hea Jin came over to give me praise and to ask me to dance on the stage with them next year and be one of the instructors. She said that for someone who had never danced at the Obon before, that I was the fastest learner of them all. Tawni was amazed. My mom was befuddled. Coach Dan was in awe. Then Hea Jin came over to give me what looked like a medal. She put it in my hands and there was some script on the back. It said, “This medal is for the best usage of kachi-kachi’s.” Even Hea Jin saw how hard I worked at perfecting my kachi-kachi’s. Slowly, I started showing off my medal, when Eddy Zucko knocked it out of my hands. We went nose to nose and toes to toes and he reared back and I reared back. Our fists were ready to fly. Then Ryland came over before we could throw punches and head butted Eddy right in the nachos. Immediately I woke up from my deep sleep.

I had dreamed about Obon greatness. I had won over Hea Jin. I was Michael Jackson. But my bubble had bursted when I woke up. I had practice later in the day and while I didn’t think I’d win over Hea Jin like in my dream, I was going to try my best. Yet I wasn’t so sure why I wanted to win her over. After she denied me from private lessons I should’ve been more pissed off than I was. Maybe I was in the wrong. I was ready to concede that. Maybe Hea Jin was a nice woman.

Hea Jin

The day was long and tiring and when I went to practice, I was worn out. I was also starting to feel a bit sick. I noticed that Lisa and her daughter Alexis were there and that made me happy. I was glad to see them come out. The regulars were also there and I noticed Uncle Richard had a blue tank top to soak through on this day rather than his gray one. I noticed Tawni and Shoesless Mike, Tomiko and the Coach, Annette and Billy, Nini and her children, Pat and Uncle Hankie, Mike, Kim and Brandon, Auntie Susie, Auntie Margie, and my parents. My kids were in tow as well. If I missed anyone, I apologize, but not for lack of trying to get them all right. We immediately went into the first dance and I was immediately lost. This was not going like my dream at all. It had only been a week since last practice, but it felt like about 5 years. It was if I never even practiced this simple dance before. After a few tries, I did get it down. I started to get more of the dances down and I did it by comparing things I know to what the choreography asked for. There’s one dance where you rotate your wrist a bit like Hulk Hogan getting ready to cup his ear to the crowd. I’m the only one who follows through and actually cups my ear though. There’s another dance where you put your hand in front of your eyes and wave it a few times like John Cena does, except no one else screams, “You can’t see me!” except for me. And my favorite one was where we did these windmill like movements with our arms. However, I was the only one singing, “Hip hop hooray, hooooo, heyyyyy, hooooo.” I did try to get Billy to start chanting like Naughty By Nature with me.

Young Bear In All His Glory

I felt like I was progressing. So I looked up to Hea Jin for approval. And she gave me that familiar giggle again. I thought I was doing well and expected maybe a smile, or a tip of the cap (ok, tip of the top of her hair), but that giggle bothered me. It made me feel less than worthy. So I decided that I was simply going to give her one more shot. I was going to work harder than the sweat trying to soak through Uncle Richard’s tank top. All for this woman’s approval. And if she didn’t give it to me, I was going to make her life hell.

We were on a fun dance and I was shimmying it up with the best of them. I was breaking necks. Hea Jin couldn’t diss me now. After it was over, I gave myself a standing ovation and then looked towards her. She slightly raised her eyebrows at me. She wrinkled her nose at me. And then out of all the things she could’ve done to me, she did the worst possible. She gave me the finger. No, not that finger. She motioned to me with her index finger like she wanted me to come towards her. As I walked over, she stepped off the stage and I thought right then and there she was going to hug me. But she didn’t. She told me that I was shimmying and shaking with the wrong leg and I was a bit off beat. She then said that unlike James Brown, I didn’t have a good foot. And also that my Michael Jackson leg kicks had no business in any Obon dance she’d ever seen before. I was appalled. My heart was broken. Worse than Nikolai.

That was it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. My favorite dance was next because I could finally use my kachi-kachi’s. I decided to kachi-kachi louder than ever. I kachi-kachi’d more obnoxiously than anyone could imagine. People stomped. I kachi-kachi’d. People clapped. I kachi-kachi’d. People sang. I kachi-kachi’d. And I flagrantly kachi-kachi’d in Hea Jin’s direction every chance I had. And then when she told us to put them away, not only did I not put them away, but I pulled out my fan and towel at the same time too. I was the only guy fanning, towelling, and kachi-kachi’ing at the same time during the last dance. I showed Hea Jin alright.

Kachi-Kachi

Right as I was about to leave, Hea Jin walked towards me and said that while she liked my energy, she didn’t like my attitude. Obon dancing was about beauty and style and grace, not violent kachi-kachi movements. I couldn’t do anything but walk away. She won round two. But as I looked back towards her, I knew exactly what I needed to do. And that was challenge her on her own home turf and at her own game. We were going to battle like Soc’s and Greasers.

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