Well, tonight I am officially homeless. Ok, let me define that. I still have that beautiful house in Gilroy. And no, I’m not sleeping in my car, though I could probably park anywhere and turn on the computer and pick up wireless signal. But I am homeless.

It’s been awhile since Carol and I declared separation. What a decision that was. I really had no clue what it would mean, but it’d soon be defined for me very quickly. Though when we agreed to separate, the odd thing about it was that I decided that I’d stay in the house. I thought that since it was really her idea to end the relationship, that I needed to be there for the kids. I really didn’t know what she was going to do and I wanted to be as completely involved as I’d been. So I was stubborn. I stayed in the house every night, never NOT coming home and always being there when the kids woke up. I wanted to make sure that this separation wasn’t going to be that hard on them and wanted to ease them into it. It wasn’t easy on me to continually be in the house, but I thought it was the best thing I could do for them and there was no way I wanted to be away from them either.

So fast forward a year (or more, I forget) and I agreed with Carol that we probably needed to take a month off just from being around each other. In that time, we’ll decide whether to sell the house or not, whether she or I can afford the house on our own (with roommates of course), or whether we should just rent it out and both find new places to live. That last one probably isn’t going to work because our mortgage is more than we could probably rent it out for.

For the first time in my life, except when I’ve had to go on business trips, or a trip with some friends, I’m sleeping away from my house, and away from my kids. 30 days. 4 weeks. And I am homeless.

I am staying at the parents house for tonight, and probably for the largest portion of the time I’m away from home. I still work from home on Monday and Wednesday and get to pick up the kids on those days and hang out with them. And I’ll get them on at least one or two weekend days every week. So I won’t be completely away from them.

My original goal was to sleep on 30 different couches in 30 nights, but thought about how hard that would be. I could probably at least do half that many houses just with the amount of combined family and friends I have and have received requests of couches with my name on them, but in the end, it’s much easier to just sleep at the parents house. I was completely against it. Who wants to come back home to live with the parents after being on your own since you were 22? It’s almost like a step down right? A failure even? Well, it can be those things and I’m not certain that it isn’t those things, but the parents are there and didn’t blink an eye when I asked (ok, maybe told) them that I was going to stay with them for a few weeks. Plus, the kids will sleep over more so and that will make them happy.

Tonight, I sleep on the same futon that my sister hated. My mom busted out sheets and was making the bed for me and I told her she didn’t need to do all that. I want to make my stay as unnoticeable as possible, but I’m sure she’ll try to make things easier for me. I don’t want her to have to cook anything she wasn’t already cooking or worry about my laundary or anything like that. I’ve been doing those things for a long time, and I don’t all of a sudden need a respite from them. But she’s mom. Mom’s like doing that stuff.

In a way, it’s an interesting situation for me. In no way do I want to be away from my kids. That will be the hardest part. But it will give me a time to reflect. Time to be by myself and figure out what I’m going to do. For the last 8 years, I’ve been one person pretty much. And now that one person definitely has to change in order to surive. It’s going to be an interesting 30 days.

I will leave you with a shot of my two Daniel-san’s. More Obon talk is coming, whenver I can get all the pictures up. Because the kachi-kachi’s will definitely get revenge.

It was the start of the 5th season of Beverly Hills 90210. Mainstay Shannon Dougherty decided that four seasons was enough and she left the show. Her character, Brenda Walsh asked Dylan to throw a hump into her during the season four finale and that was her goodbye as she was off to London to pursue an acting career. In order to change it up a bit, Aaron Spelling and company decided to bring in a young woman who gained fame from playing the sweet and loveable Kelly Kapowski. Tiffani Thiessen (dropping the Amber to show growth from child to serious actor) joined the group, playing the sexy and seductive Valerie Malone, a definite change from her Saved By The Bell days. Though not as eye opening as Elizabeth Berkley’s flesh fest Showgirls, Thiessen definitely changed the mood of 90210, which after four seasons was starting to show it’s age.

It’s their second year of college at California University and they are back from their summer. Brandon was on the task force at CU and was invited to Washington D.C. to meet the President of the United States. Kelly had just broken up with Dylan and no less than a few hours later was on a plane to DC to join Brandon. The girl moves quickly. Dylan felt quite humbled by the break-up and also by Brenda leaving to London and went on a drunken summer binge. David cheated on Donna with Ariel who got him a gig to play with Babyface. Steve was back with Celeste after cheating on her with a woman who accused him of rape. Young Steve then forgave her and had another dance with her until he found out she was psycho. Sucks to be Steve.

The show starts with the Walsh’s at the airport waiting to pick someone up from the airport. And that someone isn’t named Brenda. It is in fact a family friend who is going to live in Brenda’s bedroom. And that woman is Valerie.

Kelly and Donna find each other at the hair salon and from the looks of it, their friendship has suffered. We are shown black and white footage of them arguing over Kelly siding with David for cheating on Donna. Kelly didn’t really side with him. But she did say that she could see where he was coming from. Donna wasn’t budging on the whole loosening up the chastity belt thing and David was a budding band member. They are put very strategically in the air dryers together and they make up in something like 5 seconds. Good times. Kelly tells Donna that Brenda is not coming back.

For some reason, Steve gets off the plane with Howie Long~! He was in Hawaii for the summer and Brandon sees him at the airport. Nice to know that not only do they all usually end up at the Peach Pit together, but they are at the airport together. Looks like Valerie’s plane is late. Steve tells a newly goatee’d Brandon that Celeste broke up with him in Hawaii and that Kelly Taylor is his true love and Brandon must help him win her back. No one told Steve that Brandon and Kelly were knocking the boots like Candyman (talk about a dated pop culture reference by me).

Andrea is still at the hospital. She gave birth to Hannah after hooking up with Jesse and then marrying him. She was born premature and had to stay in the hospital for a very long time. Finally the baby was ready to come home, but Hannah stopped breathing and couldn’t come home. She then tells a young mother with a premature baby to follow her instincts and never listen to doctors. Or something like that.

Two Blondes And A Brunette

David was asked to go on tour with Babyface, had a sweet girl under his arm, and then Babyface dumped him from the tour, the girl dumped him from her arm, and then gave him crabs. Yes, she gave him crabs.

It looks like Dylan was had and that’s his big reason for being depressed. He was once worth millions. And now he’s not. A woman who was a former dalliance of his father’s came into his life and hosed him for his money. He’s now broke. And he spent his summer in Mexico hanging out with hookers and drinking booze.

Steve finds out that Brandon and Kelly are dating and isn’t happy. The Walsh’s are having a BBQ to celebrate Valerie’s introduction to the Beverly Hills world. Valerie asks Steve to help her open a jar of pickles and Steve falls in love. That was quick.

Kelly tells Donna that not only is she now dating Brandon, but that she spent part of her summer in Minnesota with the Walsh’s. She also let Donna know that Valerie’s father committed suicide and that’s the main reason for her leaving Minnesota for Beverly Hills.

New father and law student Jesse is bartending at the hottest club in LA and the crew of Steve, Valerie, Brandon, Kelly and Donna visit the club. Valerie’s white blouse underneath the babydoll dress brings back the memories of 1994. David shows up at the club and Donna immediately wants to leave the club. Donna is still sprung on Young David even though she told everyone else otherwise.

Steve is desperately trying to lay the mack down on Valerie and says that she’s a mix of Mariah Carey, Heather Locklear and Cindy Crawford and after his pitiful attempts, she just tells him to kiss her. Bad timing Brandon gets there just as Steve is about to make a move and he doesn’t get to kiss her.

While Brandon and Valerie try to work out a system of sharing the bathroom, Brandon says that Val was the first person he ever kissed and Val says that they both showed each other their “mines” as children. As Brandon leaves, Val pulls out a box where she holds her weed and calls Ginger to talk smack about all the people she’s met. She calls them “avocado heads”. And she says that Steve is dumb and is rich. She says the Walsh’s are harmless. And then in the quote of the show, she says if the Walsh’s pull a parental trip on her, she’ll just “put on the happy face and dance.” Yes, in the first show with Valerie, not only do we find out she smokes the reefer, but also, that she’s evil.

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The quote had to do with the sexy. Yet, I didn’t forsee more than one person thinking they actually said the quote.

I?m bringing sexy back.

The guesses were quite funny. And one especially. I never thought I’d see the name JT The Bigga Figga in a comment thread on my blog. But now I have. And it was awesome.

Here were the guesses.

LowJones actually guessed twice. First he said, “Are you sure it wasn?t Patrick Swayze??cause he?s Just Like the Wind?” And this was just after I said it wasn’t Mr. Swayze. Secondly, he added, “Wait?I was wrong?it?s was Justin Guarini wasn?t it?” No, it wasn’t Justin Guarini.

The HJ at first guessed Eddy Zucko, but then guessed Jamie Foxx. I wonder what Young Randall thinks about that.

Val simply said, “I have no clue.”

Steph guessed one time, and then came back and guessed again. Actually her first submission wasn’t really a guess. She just said that it had to be Patrick Swayze because he was the coolest. But then she guessed again, “Shirtless mulletless Uncle Jesse from Full House!”

Tawni said, “I am thinking it is also JT since you mentioned it in your previous blog, but if not, i think it is Edson, cause i swore he told me that a few days ago.” I wonder what Shoesless Mike thinks about that?

Eddy Zucko first guessed that it was “Allen Generous” (Ellen DeGenerous in Sheikese) and then noticed all the voting for him and came back with, “I got 2 votes. But I?m not bringing sexy back, since sexy was always here.” I wonder what Young Randall thinks about that?

Big Willie Styles said, “Did i say this??? I can?t remember.” Thankfully, he didn’t say Shally or Darnell this time.

Cousin Mark said, “It sounds like a P. Diddy-ism.” It so does.

Michelle said, “JT? Does ??m bringing sexy back? count? ahahh.” Yes it does.

Miko said, “Um? I confer. JT all the way? but wait, this can?t be this easy can it???
So, as a back up guess I say, Rudy Huckleberry.” No, it wasn’t young Keisha Knight Pulliam, but if you’ve seen her lately, she could’ve said it.

The Bito said so succinctly, “JT?”

Patty said: “Tell me you aren?t quoting Justin Timberlake! Ew.” And what is wrong with JT?

Christal said, “Hmmm?Usher? I have no clue.” However, she also came back and said something else. She said, “Ok? heard this on a JT song?Justin Timberlake that is and not JT the Bigga Figga?game recognize game in the Bay Maan.” To which Aaron Green (Albert) replied, “Christal is STRAIGHT ghetto!” Ah, fun times

Speeddemon Mike said, “Well, I said it. But as far as actual popular people, I believe the answer would be Mr. Justin Timberlake.” I guess Mike guessed twice as well.

Yes, in fact, it was Justin Timberlake who said I?m bringing sexy back.

Let’s Hope His New Album Doesn’t Get The Same Fate As His Straight To Video Film Debut

Thanks for playing.

I think this one is quite easy. It’s possibly the easiest one I’ve done. As always try staying away from Google and just guess if you don’t know. It’s more fun that way. And no, the answer is not Patrick Swayze.

Who said this?

I’m bringing sexy back.

Vote in the comment section below.

This review was originally written on Epinions.com.

A working title for the sequel to Kevin Smith’s 1994 independent classic Clerks, was The Passion Of The Clerks, which after watching the movie, is exactly what it was. Though that title was dropped, there’s definitely a passion. It’s a passion for comedy, a passion for friendship, and a passion strictly for Kevin Smith to write material so obscene and non-commercial that it will make your head spin. But it’s also Kevin Smith’s passion to continue telling a simple story based in New Jersey that seemingly follows all of his films (except Jersey Girl). A few years ago, Smith decided that he was done with the family of films he’s done based on the New Jersey scene, but it was merely a smoke screen. Jason Mewes had floundered while trying to kick his drug habit and not until Mewes was clean did Smith say that he would continue the Jersey series. Thankfully for the fans, Mewes is supposedly all cleaned up and Jay and Silent Bob, as well as Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) are back together again.

The original film was financed by Kevin Smith’s credit line and was shot entirely in black and white. Some twelve years later, it’s not exactly like that this time. Though some of the film has the nostalgic black and white shots, it’s almost all in color. Smith keeps the continuity as most of the film takes place all in one day and only deviates from that near the end. The cameos are also there as Ben Affleck and Jason Lee show up in the movie. The Star Wars jokes also return, but this time The Lord of The Rings jokes take priority. Dante and Randal are now in their early thirties and have graduated from their Quick Stop market to a fast food chain restaurant called Mooby’s. But Dante’s life is changing as he’s engaged to be married and is leaving for Florida to start a new life. Randal doesn’t think he’s being true to himself and thinks he’s leaving because he’s running away from his life only because of what people think of him.

Yes, that’s the story. Dante and Randal have aged over ten years and they look it. Dante is puffy and Randal has lines on his forehead. But when they start speaking, it’s like they never missed a beat. As you’d expect, high jinks soon ensue. And they ensue and ensue and ensue. Jason Mewes and Smith himself reprise their roles as Jay and Silent Bob, the duo who simply stand around and sell weed while entertaining themselves with a boom box while people watching. With most movies, a series of skits done like Jay and Silent Bob would ware off quickly and get old. But Smith puts so much of his creativity into the characters that in every movie they are in, they’re fresh and you simply can’t wait to see them again. At times, it’s Mewes’ movie. He’s simply hilarious as Jay and probably always will be.

The movie is obscene. It’s disgusting. And at times, it’s even racist. Let me explain a bit. There’s a long bit in the middle where Wanda Sykes and Anderson’s Randal argue about the usage of a racist phrase. And Randal goes through the rest of the movie trying to argue that because of the way he was raised, the phrase is in fact not racist because of how it was used towards him. It’s classic Kevin Smith dialogue, but I was uncomfortable over the language used and thought it was a bit over the top. But it could simply be me. Smith does make fun of stereotypes and generalizations and does it through one character. Trevor Fehrman plays Elias who is a walking stereotype. He’s a transformer’s nerd, a Lord of the Rings geek, a virgin, a girly man, and a momma’s boy. It’s like Smith decided to take three characters and roll them into one. Fehrman does a yeoman’s job in playing the role. I’m not exactly sure where he looked to for inspiration because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a character like him.

Smith’s wife, Jennifer Schwalbach plays Dante’s fiance who might not be the perfect person for him, but she loves him and is the kind of girl he could never get in his younger days. The very homely looking Rosario Dawson plays Becky, the Mooby’s boss who also is great friends with Dante. While she looks very normal and un-moviestar-like through most of the film, there’s a scene where she dances to the Jackson 5’s ABC and she transforms into the sexiest woman on white screen history. Ok, maybe not that sexy, but you get the point. The entire scene becomes a corny musical for about two minutes as everyone starts dancing to the song. Who knew Michael Jackson would have such a big part in the movie?

There is more vulgarity near the end of the movie and I’m surprised they didn’t really have to cut much to earn an R rating. Parents, do not take your children to see this movie. Wives or girlfriends, if your husband or boyfriend wants to take you along and you are offended at all by bad language, slight nudity, vulgar descriptions of body parts, or depictions of beastiality, then just say no. But if you have an open mind, Smith makes up for it in the end.

Kevin Smith’s dialogue is hard hitting and quick witted with bad language and a path of penis, homosexuality, and vagina jokes. But it’s the dialogue that carries the movie. The scenes are dialogue heavy and the actors are right on point in their pace. Without the pace, the jokes wouldn’t be half near as funny. The movie is laugh out loud funny. And it’s almost solely based on the dialogue. While it’s nothing new and very predictable, the direction, the writing, and pretty much every performance is solid and the movie works. It might not be as classic as Clerks has become, but then again, what sequel is? Clerks II fits in just perfectly.

A few weeks ago, on MySpace, there was a note saying that if you be-friended “Mooby” which was the page for the Clerks 2 film, you would be listed in the credits. Low and behold, at the very end of the credits, there was good old GG listed among the other ten thousand or so myspacers.

This was originally posted on MySpace on July 14, 2006.

These are my thoughts ladies and gentlemen, just my thoughts.

- I may be in the minority here, but I think it’s fashionably lame for guys to wear flip flops with jeans. Wear flip flops with shorts, but don’t wear them with jeans. I don’t mind it when women do, because I think it can look cute. Women in general take better care of their toes and their feet are better manicured. But whenever I see a guy wearing flip flops with jeans, I just shake my head.
- I’m sad to see Alison go from Big Brother All Stars, but then again, she could never touch Janelle.
- Is this season’s Real World the worst ever? I think I stopped watching after 6 episodes. Even my San Jose girl Janelle (different one from above) is on it and I still don’t watch.
- Am I the only one who can’t wait for the Brooke Hogan CD? Ok, I really just want to review it, but still.
- Justin Timberlake needs to worry less about bringing the SexyBack and worry about making good music.
- I can save Britney Spears.

She Can Be Saved

- Does Oprah really hate rappers?
- Please do join the Missi Pyle Fan Club.
- Is it odd of me to wear a shirt that simply says, “HUMBLED”?
- Anyone remember Tommy Page?

- I’ll Be Your Everything
- After watching Superman Returns, it hit me that there weren’t going to be any more Star Wars movies and that thought moved me to tears.
- Do you think Gnarls Barkley is related to Charles Barkley?
- In terms of music royalty, if Elvis was “The King”, MJ is “The King of Pop”, Rakim is “The God MC”, and Mary J. Blige is “The Queen Of Hip Hop Soul”, where does BB King (and Lucille) rank?
- Eddie Murphy and Scary Spice are really dating? Say you’ll be there Scary, say you’ll be there.
- I’m like the wind, like Patrick Swayze – Seacrest Out!

I’ve been pretty quiet about this movie actually coming out because I’d heard about it for years and I didn’t want to jinx it. Ok, I’m a huge fan and this has at least a decent chance of being horrible, but I’m going to see it the first day it comes out. I’m also going to be doing a Rocky marathon with Double Bri and Double J to smarten them up on the greatness that is Rocky Balboa. Here’s some of the first footage (other than a short trailer) that I’ve seen. Click on it below.

ROCKY BALBOA UPDATE:

Ok, now this made me smile. Click here to see the first full trailer.

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I’m not sure how often I’ll write about this show, but I am not ashamed to say that I love it. It’s the most coniving, disrespectful, deceptive show on television, and still, I love it. I’ve been watching it ever since the first season when it was the first show to stream video 24/7 from inside the house. And while it was a bore watching them sleep, and it is boring in general to watch them talk, it was still a pioneering idea and I caught it online as much as possible. I would even simply listen to the audio while I was at work. And here we are for the All Stars show, which is a fantastic idea. The best of the lot from the previous seasons all playing together. Dr. Will Kirby and Mike Boogie together again. My favorite bleached blonde Janelle getting foldled on national television by Howie was classic last year, and I’m sure it won’t get tiring this year.

The only part of the idea that I don’t like is that way too many Big Brother 6 contestants were chosen by the fans to be on the show. And it makes sense. Last year was a strong season and those members are probably in the front of the minds of the fans. It immediately gives past viewers a comfortable feel, but I would have rather seen more classic members of the show from the first two or three seasons than see milquetoast James for a second season in a row.

I Voted For Her!

On to the thoughts.

• Yes, I voted for Janelle 14 times on the web poll on who should be on this season.
• Allison looks to have lost some weight and actually looked quite decent on the first show, but all it took was one Allison face and she was the same old Allison.
• Did Erika really last all that long in Season 4?
• “Chicken” George is even more annoying than I remember him, but he did take a mighty fall on the HoH challenge – it wasn’t graceful.
• Marcellas’ “I’m very black and I’m very gay” routine is going to ware on my quickly.
• Nakomis was voted in surprisingly over her goofy brother “Cowboy” and she looks like a tattoed rainbow fish in a land of sharks.
• Kaysar doesn’t seem to have learned a thing – he doesn’t have the ruthlessness it takes to win the game, nor oust Dr. Will Kirby.
• Dr. Will was hilarious when he said he was disappointed that he wasn’t put up for nomination and that he wouldn’t be happy until he was nominated, dammit.
• There’s no bigger goofball around than Mike Boogie and I’m guessing the joke isn’t actually on us; it’s on him.
• I don’t remember Jase being any good at this game, but the biggest storyline around him will be if he tries to hook up in the house after already showing us pictures of his girlfriend and soon to be step daughter.
• Diane, hmmm, Diane, uh, I don’t even remember one thing about her.
• Wait, wasn’t she dating someone in the house?
• Danielle was beat at her own game on the opening show as she already tried to start shenanigans and it came back to nominate her in the butt.
• I think this season is going to be a bunch of sharks battling it out, and that little tattooed rainbow fish might just do enough to fly under the radar and win this thing – of course I get to change this pick every week if I want.

This review was first published on Epinions.com.

This movie should’ve been right up my alley. It is about wrestling. That alone should’ve made me see it on the first day. However, because of scheduling craziness, I wasn’t able to take my father and two sons until a couple weeks after the debut. Still, even though the reviews were very average, I still figured that maybe those critics just didn’t “get it”. But in fact, they did get it. Nacho Libre is a standard fare comedy that believes in itself way too much and seemed to be written simply to make the writer (Mike White), the director (Jared Hess), and the star actor (Jack Black) laugh. I bet if I read the script to this film, I would’ve found it far funnier than the actual result.

The problem with the film isn’t the premise. Loosely based on the story of Fray Tormenta (Reverend Sergio Gutierrez Benitez) who took in children who needed help and tried to find a way to pay for their care. He figured that a wrestler was paid somewhat like Muhammed Ali and decided to become a luchador (Mexican style lucha libre wrestler) to pay the bills. And he paid those bills for 23 years. There’s a great story in there waiting to be told. Instead of telling it close to the vest, White, Hess, and Black tried to make it off the cuff like funny, while trying to tell a charming story, and in my eyes they only did an average job, and were closer to failing than succeeding in their goal.

The problem is the cutesy dialogue, the bad transitions, the and trying to straddle the fence on telling an endearing story, and making fun of that same endearing story. There are genuinely funny instances in the film such as Jack Black’s Friar Ignacio trying to impress Sister Encarnacion played by Ana de la Reguera. He tries to win her over by showing her he’s a true fighter. There’s a scene where he stands in a pose with his back to her flexing his butt cheeks, as if that would encite a nun to become attracted to a unkempt and unattractive cherubic man of the cloth. There are also classic scenes where one of the orphans named Chancho, who is like the miniature Ignacio, provides his mentor with wisdom and also keeps his secret of moonlighting as a masked luchador away from everyone else.

The story follows a solid time line. Ignacio is a Friar at an orphanage and has always loved lucha libre, but fighting without a cause isn’t ok with the church. He can’t resist being a luchador and tries to straddle both being a friar and a masked wrestler. He hides it from everyone except young Chancho who accidentally sees him change into his wrestling tights, or stretchy pants as Ignacio calls them. As a luchador, Ignacio is “Nacho”, and he teams up with his skinny friend Steven who goes by the ring name of Esqueleto (The Skeleton). Nacho uses the money that he earns from his ring conquests (or not conquests) to buy the orphans better food than the stew that he makes them every morning. He finds out that he needs a reason to continue wrestling and that reason is two fold. He wants to impress Sister Encarnacion and show her that he’s a true fighter, and he also wants to go pro so he can make the big money to give the orphans more. If they just followed the time line and did so in a traditional fashion, the movie would’ve actually been quite good. But alas, they don’t, and try to get cute with dialogue and write scenes that entirely don’t even affect the outcome of the movie.

As for the wrestling portion, it’s interesting. Many of the moves are classic lucha, but some of the rules don’t really apply to any sort of wrestling I’ve ever watched. In one scene, Nacho takes a kick to the back and immediately the match is over and the match is awarded to the man who kicked him in the back. Also, it’s portrayed as real (as in it’s not worked and winning and losing matters) and also fake (as in even losers make money) at the same time. But that part doesn’t really affect the movie as it’s action inside the ring that really picks it up. My son got animated when he saw one of the minis (midget wrestlers) perform a huracanrana. Black is actually ok inside the squared circle and you can tell that you did a little training, though the oversized gut would tell you otherwise. I would seem to think that both the director and Black himself wanted to make the in ring action as close to lucha as possible. In that instance, other than how the outcomes are decided, I think they succeeded.

The movie ends at the perfect time as the last 20 minutes or so are the strongest, especially with the in ring action. The movie ultimately wins or loses not with Black, but with the writing and direction. It was almost as if Hess wanted to create another Napoleon Dynamite, but he got cold feet. The story is too strong for the movie to be a failure, but in the end, the direction fails it. Either go straight, or go completely wacky. Lucha libre itself is quite wacky so it wouldn’t have been a bad choice, but it doesn’t succeed only going halfway.