It was the start of the 5th season of Beverly Hills 90210. Mainstay Shannon Dougherty decided that four seasons was enough and she left the show. Her character, Brenda Walsh asked Dylan to throw a hump into her during the season four finale and that was her goodbye as she was off to London to pursue an acting career. In order to change it up a bit, Aaron Spelling and company decided to bring in a young woman who gained fame from playing the sweet and loveable Kelly Kapowski. Tiffani Thiessen (dropping the Amber to show growth from child to serious actor) joined the group, playing the sexy and seductive Valerie Malone, a definite change from her Saved By The Bell days. Though not as eye opening as Elizabeth Berkley’s flesh fest Showgirls, Thiessen definitely changed the mood of 90210, which after four seasons was starting to show it’s age.

It’s their second year of college at California University and they are back from their summer. Brandon was on the task force at CU and was invited to Washington D.C. to meet the President of the United States. Kelly had just broken up with Dylan and no less than a few hours later was on a plane to DC to join Brandon. The girl moves quickly. Dylan felt quite humbled by the break-up and also by Brenda leaving to London and went on a drunken summer binge. David cheated on Donna with Ariel who got him a gig to play with Babyface. Steve was back with Celeste after cheating on her with a woman who accused him of rape. Young Steve then forgave her and had another dance with her until he found out she was psycho. Sucks to be Steve.

The show starts with the Walsh’s at the airport waiting to pick someone up from the airport. And that someone isn’t named Brenda. It is in fact a family friend who is going to live in Brenda’s bedroom. And that woman is Valerie.

Kelly and Donna find each other at the hair salon and from the looks of it, their friendship has suffered. We are shown black and white footage of them arguing over Kelly siding with David for cheating on Donna. Kelly didn’t really side with him. But she did say that she could see where he was coming from. Donna wasn’t budging on the whole loosening up the chastity belt thing and David was a budding band member. They are put very strategically in the air dryers together and they make up in something like 5 seconds. Good times. Kelly tells Donna that Brenda is not coming back.

For some reason, Steve gets off the plane with Howie Long~! He was in Hawaii for the summer and Brandon sees him at the airport. Nice to know that not only do they all usually end up at the Peach Pit together, but they are at the airport together. Looks like Valerie’s plane is late. Steve tells a newly goatee’d Brandon that Celeste broke up with him in Hawaii and that Kelly Taylor is his true love and Brandon must help him win her back. No one told Steve that Brandon and Kelly were knocking the boots like Candyman (talk about a dated pop culture reference by me).

Andrea is still at the hospital. She gave birth to Hannah after hooking up with Jesse and then marrying him. She was born premature and had to stay in the hospital for a very long time. Finally the baby was ready to come home, but Hannah stopped breathing and couldn’t come home. She then tells a young mother with a premature baby to follow her instincts and never listen to doctors. Or something like that.

Two Blondes And A Brunette

David was asked to go on tour with Babyface, had a sweet girl under his arm, and then Babyface dumped him from the tour, the girl dumped him from her arm, and then gave him crabs. Yes, she gave him crabs.

It looks like Dylan was had and that’s his big reason for being depressed. He was once worth millions. And now he’s not. A woman who was a former dalliance of his father’s came into his life and hosed him for his money. He’s now broke. And he spent his summer in Mexico hanging out with hookers and drinking booze.

Steve finds out that Brandon and Kelly are dating and isn’t happy. The Walsh’s are having a BBQ to celebrate Valerie’s introduction to the Beverly Hills world. Valerie asks Steve to help her open a jar of pickles and Steve falls in love. That was quick.

Kelly tells Donna that not only is she now dating Brandon, but that she spent part of her summer in Minnesota with the Walsh’s. She also let Donna know that Valerie’s father committed suicide and that’s the main reason for her leaving Minnesota for Beverly Hills.

New father and law student Jesse is bartending at the hottest club in LA and the crew of Steve, Valerie, Brandon, Kelly and Donna visit the club. Valerie’s white blouse underneath the babydoll dress brings back the memories of 1994. David shows up at the club and Donna immediately wants to leave the club. Donna is still sprung on Young David even though she told everyone else otherwise.

Steve is desperately trying to lay the mack down on Valerie and says that she’s a mix of Mariah Carey, Heather Locklear and Cindy Crawford and after his pitiful attempts, she just tells him to kiss her. Bad timing Brandon gets there just as Steve is about to make a move and he doesn’t get to kiss her.

While Brandon and Valerie try to work out a system of sharing the bathroom, Brandon says that Val was the first person he ever kissed and Val says that they both showed each other their “mines” as children. As Brandon leaves, Val pulls out a box where she holds her weed and calls Ginger to talk smack about all the people she’s met. She calls them “avocado heads”. And she says that Steve is dumb and is rich. She says the Walsh’s are harmless. And then in the quote of the show, she says if the Walsh’s pull a parental trip on her, she’ll just “put on the happy face and dance.” Yes, in the first show with Valerie, not only do we find out she smokes the reefer, but also, that she’s evil.

The quote had to do with the sexy. Yet, I didn’t forsee more than one person thinking they actually said the quote.

I’m bringing sexy back.

The guesses were quite funny. And one especially. I never thought I’d see the name JT The Bigga Figga in a comment thread on my blog. But now I have. And it was awesome.

Here were the guesses.

LowJones actually guessed twice. First he said, “Are you sure it wasn’t Patrick Swayze…’cause he’s Just Like the Wind?” And this was just after I said it wasn’t Mr. Swayze. Secondly, he added, “Wait…I was wrong…it’s was Justin Guarini wasn’t it?” No, it wasn’t Justin Guarini.

The HJ at first guessed Eddy Zucko, but then guessed Jamie Foxx. I wonder what Young Randall thinks about that.

Val simply said, “I have no clue.”

Steph guessed one time, and then came back and guessed again. Actually her first submission wasn’t really a guess. She just said that it had to be Patrick Swayze because he was the coolest. But then she guessed again, “Shirtless mulletless Uncle Jesse from Full House!”

Tawni said, “I am thinking it is also JT since you mentioned it in your previous blog, but if not, i think it is Edson, cause i swore he told me that a few days ago.” I wonder what Shoesless Mike thinks about that?

Eddy Zucko first guessed that it was “Allen Generous” (Ellen DeGenerous in Sheikese) and then noticed all the voting for him and came back with, “I got 2 votes. But I’m not bringing sexy back, since sexy was always here.” I wonder what Young Randall thinks about that?

Big Willie Styles said, “Did i say this??? I can’t remember.” Thankfully, he didn’t say Shally or Darnell this time.

Cousin Mark said, “It sounds like a P. Diddy-ism.” It so does.

Michelle said, “JT? Does “‘m bringing sexy back” count? ahahh.” Yes it does.

Miko said, “Um… I confer. JT all the way… but wait, this can’t be this easy can it???
So, as a back up guess I say, Rudy Huckleberry.” No, it wasn’t young Keisha Knight Pulliam, but if you’ve seen her lately, she could’ve said it.

The Bito said so succinctly, “JT?”

Patty said: “Tell me you aren’t quoting Justin Timberlake! Ew.” And what is wrong with JT?

Christal said, “Hmmm…Usher? I have no clue.” However, she also came back and said something else. She said, “Ok… heard this on a JT song…Justin Timberlake that is and not JT the Bigga Figga…game recognize game in the Bay Maan.” To which Aaron Green (Albert) replied, “Christal is STRAIGHT ghetto!” Ah, fun times

Speeddemon Mike said, “Well, I said it. But as far as actual popular people, I believe the answer would be Mr. Justin Timberlake.” I guess Mike guessed twice as well.

Yes, in fact, it was Justin Timberlake who said I’m bringing sexy back.

Let’s Hope His New Album Doesn’t Get The Same Fate As His Straight To Video Film Debut

Thanks for playing.

I think this one is quite easy. It’s possibly the easiest one I’ve done. As always try staying away from Google and just guess if you don’t know. It’s more fun that way. And no, the answer is not Patrick Swayze.

Who said this?

I’m bringing sexy back.

Vote in the comment section below.

This review was originally written on Epinions.com.

A working title for the sequel to Kevin Smith’s 1994 independent classic Clerks, was The Passion Of The Clerks, which after watching the movie, is exactly what it was. Though that title was dropped, there’s definitely a passion. It’s a passion for comedy, a passion for friendship, and a passion strictly for Kevin Smith to write material so obscene and non-commercial that it will make your head spin. But it’s also Kevin Smith’s passion to continue telling a simple story based in New Jersey that seemingly follows all of his films (except Jersey Girl). A few years ago, Smith decided that he was done with the family of films he’s done based on the New Jersey scene, but it was merely a smoke screen. Jason Mewes had floundered while trying to kick his drug habit and not until Mewes was clean did Smith say that he would continue the Jersey series. Thankfully for the fans, Mewes is supposedly all cleaned up and Jay and Silent Bob, as well as Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) are back together again.

The original film was financed by Kevin Smith’s credit line and was shot entirely in black and white. Some twelve years later, it’s not exactly like that this time. Though some of the film has the nostalgic black and white shots, it’s almost all in color. Smith keeps the continuity as most of the film takes place all in one day and only deviates from that near the end. The cameos are also there as Ben Affleck and Jason Lee show up in the movie. The Star Wars jokes also return, but this time The Lord of The Rings jokes take priority. Dante and Randal are now in their early thirties and have graduated from their Quick Stop market to a fast food chain restaurant called Mooby’s. But Dante’s life is changing as he’s engaged to be married and is leaving for Florida to start a new life. Randal doesn’t think he’s being true to himself and thinks he’s leaving because he’s running away from his life only because of what people think of him.

Yes, that’s the story. Dante and Randal have aged over ten years and they look it. Dante is puffy and Randal has lines on his forehead. But when they start speaking, it’s like they never missed a beat. As you’d expect, high jinks soon ensue. And they ensue and ensue and ensue. Jason Mewes and Smith himself reprise their roles as Jay and Silent Bob, the duo who simply stand around and sell weed while entertaining themselves with a boom box while people watching. With most movies, a series of skits done like Jay and Silent Bob would ware off quickly and get old. But Smith puts so much of his creativity into the characters that in every movie they are in, they’re fresh and you simply can’t wait to see them again. At times, it’s Mewes’ movie. He’s simply hilarious as Jay and probably always will be.

The movie is obscene. It’s disgusting. And at times, it’s even racist. Let me explain a bit. There’s a long bit in the middle where Wanda Sykes and Anderson’s Randal argue about the usage of a racist phrase. And Randal goes through the rest of the movie trying to argue that because of the way he was raised, the phrase is in fact not racist because of how it was used towards him. It’s classic Kevin Smith dialogue, but I was uncomfortable over the language used and thought it was a bit over the top. But it could simply be me. Smith does make fun of stereotypes and generalizations and does it through one character. Trevor Fehrman plays Elias who is a walking stereotype. He’s a transformer’s nerd, a Lord of the Rings geek, a virgin, a girly man, and a momma’s boy. It’s like Smith decided to take three characters and roll them into one. Fehrman does a yeoman’s job in playing the role. I’m not exactly sure where he looked to for inspiration because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a character like him.

Smith’s wife, Jennifer Schwalbach plays Dante’s fiance who might not be the perfect person for him, but she loves him and is the kind of girl he could never get in his younger days. The very homely looking Rosario Dawson plays Becky, the Mooby’s boss who also is great friends with Dante. While she looks very normal and un-moviestar-like through most of the film, there’s a scene where she dances to the Jackson 5’s ABC and she transforms into the sexiest woman on white screen history. Ok, maybe not that sexy, but you get the point. The entire scene becomes a corny musical for about two minutes as everyone starts dancing to the song. Who knew Michael Jackson would have such a big part in the movie?

There is more vulgarity near the end of the movie and I’m surprised they didn’t really have to cut much to earn an R rating. Parents, do not take your children to see this movie. Wives or girlfriends, if your husband or boyfriend wants to take you along and you are offended at all by bad language, slight nudity, vulgar descriptions of body parts, or depictions of beastiality, then just say no. But if you have an open mind, Smith makes up for it in the end.

Kevin Smith’s dialogue is hard hitting and quick witted with bad language and a path of penis, homosexuality, and vagina jokes. But it’s the dialogue that carries the movie. The scenes are dialogue heavy and the actors are right on point in their pace. Without the pace, the jokes wouldn’t be half near as funny. The movie is laugh out loud funny. And it’s almost solely based on the dialogue. While it’s nothing new and very predictable, the direction, the writing, and pretty much every performance is solid and the movie works. It might not be as classic as Clerks has become, but then again, what sequel is? Clerks II fits in just perfectly.

A few weeks ago, on MySpace, there was a note saying that if you be-friended “Mooby” which was the page for the Clerks 2 film, you would be listed in the credits. Low and behold, at the very end of the credits, there was good old GG listed among the other ten thousand or so myspacers.