It was the start of the 5th season of Beverly Hills 90210. Mainstay Shannon Dougherty decided that four seasons was enough and she left the show. Her character, Brenda Walsh asked Dylan to throw a hump into her during the season four finale and that was her goodbye as she was off to London to pursue an acting career. In order to change it up a bit, Aaron Spelling and company decided to bring in a young woman who gained fame from playing the sweet and loveable Kelly Kapowski. Tiffani Thiessen (dropping the Amber to show growth from child to serious actor) joined the group, playing the sexy and seductive Valerie Malone, a definite change from her Saved By The Bell days. Though not as eye opening as Elizabeth Berkley’s flesh fest Showgirls, Thiessen definitely changed the mood of 90210, which after four seasons was starting to show it’s age.

It’s their second year of college at California University and they are back from their summer. Brandon was on the task force at CU and was invited to Washington D.C. to meet the President of the United States. Kelly had just broken up with Dylan and no less than a few hours later was on a plane to DC to join Brandon. The girl moves quickly. Dylan felt quite humbled by the break-up and also by Brenda leaving to London and went on a drunken summer binge. David cheated on Donna with Ariel who got him a gig to play with Babyface. Steve was back with Celeste after cheating on her with a woman who accused him of rape. Young Steve then forgave her and had another dance with her until he found out she was psycho. Sucks to be Steve.

The show starts with the Walsh’s at the airport waiting to pick someone up from the airport. And that someone isn’t named Brenda. It is in fact a family friend who is going to live in Brenda’s bedroom. And that woman is Valerie.

Kelly and Donna find each other at the hair salon and from the looks of it, their friendship has suffered. We are shown black and white footage of them arguing over Kelly siding with David for cheating on Donna. Kelly didn’t really side with him. But she did say that she could see where he was coming from. Donna wasn’t budging on the whole loosening up the chastity belt thing and David was a budding band member. They are put very strategically in the air dryers together and they make up in something like 5 seconds. Good times. Kelly tells Donna that Brenda is not coming back.

For some reason, Steve gets off the plane with Howie Long~! He was in Hawaii for the summer and Brandon sees him at the airport. Nice to know that not only do they all usually end up at the Peach Pit together, but they are at the airport together. Looks like Valerie’s plane is late. Steve tells a newly goatee’d Brandon that Celeste broke up with him in Hawaii and that Kelly Taylor is his true love and Brandon must help him win her back. No one told Steve that Brandon and Kelly were knocking the boots like Candyman (talk about a dated pop culture reference by me).

Andrea is still at the hospital. She gave birth to Hannah after hooking up with Jesse and then marrying him. She was born premature and had to stay in the hospital for a very long time. Finally the baby was ready to come home, but Hannah stopped breathing and couldn’t come home. She then tells a young mother with a premature baby to follow her instincts and never listen to doctors. Or something like that.

Two Blondes And A Brunette

David was asked to go on tour with Babyface, had a sweet girl under his arm, and then Babyface dumped him from the tour, the girl dumped him from her arm, and then gave him crabs. Yes, she gave him crabs.

It looks like Dylan was had and that’s his big reason for being depressed. He was once worth millions. And now he’s not. A woman who was a former dalliance of his father’s came into his life and hosed him for his money. He’s now broke. And he spent his summer in Mexico hanging out with hookers and drinking booze.

Steve finds out that Brandon and Kelly are dating and isn’t happy. The Walsh’s are having a BBQ to celebrate Valerie’s introduction to the Beverly Hills world. Valerie asks Steve to help her open a jar of pickles and Steve falls in love. That was quick.

Kelly tells Donna that not only is she now dating Brandon, but that she spent part of her summer in Minnesota with the Walsh’s. She also let Donna know that Valerie’s father committed suicide and that’s the main reason for her leaving Minnesota for Beverly Hills.

New father and law student Jesse is bartending at the hottest club in LA and the crew of Steve, Valerie, Brandon, Kelly and Donna visit the club. Valerie’s white blouse underneath the babydoll dress brings back the memories of 1994. David shows up at the club and Donna immediately wants to leave the club. Donna is still sprung on Young David even though she told everyone else otherwise.

Steve is desperately trying to lay the mack down on Valerie and says that she’s a mix of Mariah Carey, Heather Locklear and Cindy Crawford and after his pitiful attempts, she just tells him to kiss her. Bad timing Brandon gets there just as Steve is about to make a move and he doesn’t get to kiss her.

While Brandon and Valerie try to work out a system of sharing the bathroom, Brandon says that Val was the first person he ever kissed and Val says that they both showed each other their “mines” as children. As Brandon leaves, Val pulls out a box where she holds her weed and calls Ginger to talk smack about all the people she’s met. She calls them “avocado heads”. And she says that Steve is dumb and is rich. She says the Walsh’s are harmless. And then in the quote of the show, she says if the Walsh’s pull a parental trip on her, she’ll just “put on the happy face and dance.” Yes, in the first show with Valerie, not only do we find out she smokes the reefer, but also, that she’s evil.

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