For his recent sixth birthday, Luchador 2 received an electric guitar as a gift. He loves that electric guitar. He takes it with him everywhere he goes. He even puts the electric guitar underneath his pillow. Maybe that’s why he can’t sleep at night.
Thus far, he’s already created some songs that are sure to be hits. The Luchador Blues, Love Me Like A Luchador, Shake, Rattle, and Lucha, and finally Eye Of The Luchador.
You might see him on Mexican Idol soon. You heard it here first.
Back for your favorite game and mine; Who Said This?.
This one is a little different than you are used to. It’s a two part question. You need to guess the person who said it, and also who this person was talking about.
So who said this, and who is this person talking about?
?She is the sweetest girl I know. She?s so down-to-earth. I just want her to smile and be happy.?
With a 5-5 start to the season, my 49ers seem to be the little team that could. But I’m not yet satisfied. Now let me explain that a bit. The start is fantastic as far as what we’ve had to go through these last few years. Mike Nolan really has the guys playing together well and seemingly making each game seem super important. However, I’m not yet sold because I still see certain inefficiencies that drive me bonkers. Their defensive line is over-performing. They shouldn’t be playing this well and they are. But they are really one ankle sprain away from being horrible. And the secondary can still be atrocious at times. I’m not sure why teams aren’t throwing deep because there’s no speed in the secondary at all. And lastly, while I’m a big Alex Smith fan, he’s definitely untested. They don’t ask him to do much especially with Frank Gore carrying the load for the offense. And if it came down to Smith having to bring the team back (which could happen today), does he have good enough chemistry with anyone other than Arnaz Battle and Eric Johnson to get in a decent rhythm?
I’m a little hard on them but after watching this team get whipped around the yard for the last few years, maybe I’m trying to be negative on purpose, as in, I don’t want to have hope, only to see them disapoint me. But actually, I don’t think that’s the answer. I’m just having fun watching them. I will always watch. Even when it’s painful. So I’ll take what I can get now. They are fun to watch, they play with a lot of heart, and Frank Gore is the human bowling ball. Though he may not have long in the NFL because of his style and previous injuries, I’m glad he’s on my team.
And now, it’s time for my 49ers against those hated St. Louis Rams. The Rams need this game to just stay in the race and will come out swinging. Let’s see if the Niners can stay with them.
First Quarter
We learn that Shawtae Spencer is out of the game and young Donald Strickland gets his first start
I don’t have any idea who young Donald Strickland is
Stephen Jackson takes a swing pass on third and 2 for a first down and people learn what I’ve thought all year long: Jeff Ulbrich must be related to someone in order to be a starting linebacker on this team
Manny Lawson picks off a Bulger pass (and we learned that Bulger had thrown 3 picks in his last near 400 attempts) and he looked like a corner while jumping in the air and staying in bounds: 49ers ball!
First run for Gore goes for about 11 yards - the man is on fire
Second run for Gore should’ve gone for nothing but it goes for at least 3 or 4
Vernon Davis is back finally after what seems like 5 years
The 49ers couldn’t do anything with it so they were forced to punt: Rams ball!
Gore and Jackson look like they’re on top of their games today - they could decide this one
Ronnie Fields must’ve known the snap count as he sacks Bulger before he could even hand the ball off
Torrie Holt takes a short pass and Walt Harris strips him and takes it in the end zone for a defensive touchdown - whoops, the refs declare that Holt didn’t have possession and it’s just a drop (I think the refs got it wrong)
On third and forever after the overturned call, the 49ers sack Bulger - he really had no chance - 49ers ball!
Gore goes for another 10 yards - keep giving him the ball
Of course they decide to pass on the next two downs and get nothing
Thankfully for Gore, he gets them out of third and long by taking a screen pass and going for 17
Second Quarter
Antonio Bryant may have something else on his mind (like his DUI last week), because he’s playing like crap today
On third and long in Rams territory, Smith looks like a young player for the first time today and dumps one into the turf - Rams ball!
Anthony Adams just pancaked poor Stephen Jackson for no gain
Bulger throws a nice pass to Ike Bruce on third down and Ike stretches it over the first down marker
By the way, the Bachelor Jesse Palmer and former 49er third stringer is doing the color commentating today - he just called Stephen Jackson by the name of Stanley (he must’ve had Mr. Roper on the mind)
Jackson is giving the 49ers a taste of their own medicine - he already has 57 yards rushing
On third down in the red zone, Ike Bruce gets stopped inches from a first down - great tackle by Keith Lewis
Short field goal by former 49ers Jeff Wilkins and the Rams lead 3-0
We have a Vernon Davis sighting and Jesse Palmer goes on to talk about him like he hasn’t been injured for two months
The Rams are playing Gore a bit better and I think they’re trying to tempt Norv Turner to go to the air more
On third and long, Smith tries to float one down the sidelines to Bryant, but he under throws it and it’s picked off - if he leads it, Bryant has a chance
Just under 4 minutes until halftime and the Rams have about 85 yards to go
Bulger must’ve had nightmares of getting sacked because he throws a third and long pass about 2 seconds too early and there was no one near him - 49ers ball!
Let me take that back - Battle fumbles the punt and the Rams have the ball with great field position (the Rams are playing this game with a lot of emotion and the Niners have yet to match it)
One play later, Stephen Jackson makes one guy miss and he’s in the end zone for a TD - 10-0 Rammies
The 49ers still have just under 3 minutes to try and answer back
Smith and Bryant hook up and they are in Rams territory
They hook up again and the 49ers are in business right before the 2 minute warning
Gore takes a toss and runs over someone before taking it into the end zone for a TD - 10-7 Rammies
Rams have about 1 minute left to do something before the half
Jackson already has over 100 yards rushing in the first half
On what should’ve been a free play because the 49ers are offsides, Bulger takes a shot from Bryant Young and comes out of the game
Gus Frerotte comes in and takes advantage of the 49ers playing soft and gets them within field goal range - Wilkins’ kick is good and it’s 13-7 Rammies at the half.
Third Quarter
Another Vernon Davis sighting and sadly it’s a pass that goes off his fingertips
The 49ers can’t do anything with the ball and have to punt - Rams ball!
Bulger is back in the game and he hits Jackson with a short pass and Jackson gives Derek Smith a shoulder and nearly runs over him
The Rams can’t do much else with the ball and they have to punt - 49ers ball!
On a third and long, Arnaz Battle takes a short pass and zig zags his way for a first down - 49ers ball in Rams territory
On a third and two at the Rams 10, Smith zips one to Eric Johnson right between 2 Rams defenders for the first down
Gore takes it down to the one and they are one yard away from taking the lead - just don’t fumble
They try to roll Smith out on second and goal but he has to throw it away
Play fake to the wide receiver coming across for the reverse and Smith finds Johnson wide open in the end zone for a TD - 14-13 49ers.
Fourth Quarter
Bulger missed Holt on a pass that would’ve gone for 7 easily and the Rammies are forced to punt - 49ers ball!
On third and seven, Smith throws maybe his third bad pass of the game and it almost gets picked off - they have to punt and now Rams ball!
Just to show how fast he is, Manny Lawson lines up at left end and runs down Stephen Jackson for no gain
On third and long, Bulger has to check down to the tight end, but they don’t get enough for a first down - 49ers ball!
On first and second down, Gore goes for 4 and 4 and we have a big third and two
Smith hits Battle who came in motion for the first down - I wanted Gore, they gave us Battle, I’m fine with it
Gore goes for 11 and another first down - he now has 113 yards rushing
Gore goes for another 20-plus and another first down
Maurice Hicks spells Gore and goes for a first down after two carries - Gore comes back in
Gore hurts his ankle on a short yardage carry but Hicks comes in and goes for nearly 10 - another first down
Up to this point in the game, in the second half, the 49ers have out-rushed the Rams 100 yards to 9 yards
Michael Robinson comes in and leaves them with a third and one inside the Rams ten
Robinson gets 11 inches instead of 12 and Nolan gets Nedney to kick the short field goal - he punches it in 17-13 49ers (Nolan is going to get reamed for this if the 49ers lose, but I think it was the right call - you never want to lose by a field goal, make them go the distance)
Bulger holds the ball forever on first down and Bryant Young gets him for a sack and a loss of 10 yards
Third and 14 for Bulger - and a pass to Jackson puts them one yard short of the first down - 4th and one
Jackson easily picks it up and we’re close to the two minute warning
Bulger hits Bruce on a comeback and he gets out of bounds - they’re on a little bit of a roll here
Bulger hits Bruce again wide open in the middle and they’re just outside of the 49ers twenty
Two short passes to Stephen Jackson and two great tackles by Mike Adams leaves the Rams with third and short with the clock running
Bulger hits Bruce on a pass that leaves them 4th and one again and they are forced to call their final time out with 45 seconds left
Jackson easily gets the first down again and the 49ers get called on a defensive delay of game to stop the clock - young players can help you, and kill you, and the 49ers get killed with this one
Bulger hits Kevin Curtis for the score - 20-17 Rams
49ers have 27 seconds and two time outs
Smith hits Johnson for a first down but they are still some thirty yards away from a field goal attempt (49ers call a timeout - 12 seconds left)
Smith gets picked off to end the game - Rams win 20-17
That was quite the battle of field position late in the game. I understand how people will get frustrated with Nolan’s lack of improvising late in that game, but I don’t think the goal is to have to put the game in jeopardy only because you don’t believe your defense can win the game. I think Nolan believed his defense could win the game and thus didn’t feel the need to turn the ball over if they couldn’t get the first down. It sucks the way it happened, but I’d say that the Rams still had to drive down the field and win the game, and that they did. Not a great game, but it was fun to watch the battle near the end of the game. What it might show is that neither team really should make the playoffs, but one team might if they get on a roll.
This episode is titled Koshermania and I’m guessing that they’re not talking about pickles. This could either be the best show ever, or the worst. No in between.
The show starts with Linda trying to walk about 6 dogs and as she does this, she tries to introduce her to the neighbors, since they are new to Miami. And she introduces herself as Linda Hogan, rather than Linda Bollea.
A policeman comes to the door and says that the neighbors are complaining about the construction workers leaving debris. And Linda decides to tell him that they were bad neighbors in their old area, but want to be good neighbors in Miami.
Linda can’t program the oven because it’s a computer. Nick is wearing a Paul Wall grill for no reason whatsoever. Linda is making cookies for the neighbors. Hulk says the last neighbors they had were mean. Hulk takes Linda out on his little scooter to go door to door. The first neighbor says that they are Kosher and they can’t have cookies. Hulk doesn’t know what Kosher means and asks if it’s like pickles. The second neighbor is also Kosher and they deny cookies. Linda is ofer three as the third neighbor is also Kosher. Finally, they meet a neighbor who can eat the cookies and it’s a success. Nick says that Kosher means Jewish. At least he’s closer than everyone else. You can read up on Kosher food if you wish.
Nick decides that he is going to launch water balloons from the top of a building and he’s having a great time irritating folks. I remember Arnold did that on Diff’rent Strokes before and Willis had to spank him.
They decide to have their neighbors over for some type of meal. Linda’s boobs are hanging out all over the place. Nick and Hulk want burgers and steaks. Linda wants to have the neighbors who only eat Kosher over so she sends Hulk and Nick to find food that works. Nick and Hulk think they should trick them and just say that it’s Kosher.
Nick finds Kosher World on his phone and they decide to go. The man at the store tells Hulk that it has to do with how the animal is slaughtered and Hulk thinks it’s cool and it might be better than non-Kosher food.
Nick and his friend go scootering around the neighborhood causing havoc. Then they decide to hit on an older woman who gives them water to drink. She does have a daughter and Nick asks her if she’s fat. She says that she’s too young for Nick and that’s that.
It’s time for the neighbors to come out. Jimmy Hart comes to the party. Where did he come from?
Hogan is BBQ’ing the food and he’s not using a Kosher grill, and didn’t give it the special bath. Thankfully, he’s having catered food as well, so I think they’re ok with that. The Rabbi told him so he should know next time.
Ok, other than Nasty Nick, this was horrible. It wasn’t the greatest show of all time, though it had the greatest name. Koshermania is running wild brother!
Even though I ate enough food for 12 men, I still had a grand time today. My mother cooked all morning even though there were only 6 of us and cooked a 20 pound turkey, stuffing, candied yams, rice with gravy, corn, and potato salad.
After today, the boys decided that they hate cameras and even though they are handsome, they don’t care if they ever get their picture taken ever again.
This review was originally published at Epinions.com.
At the end of my review of The Black Album I pondered if it was really going to be his final album.
I said at the time:
The album is fine album if this is the end for Jay-Z. Is this the end?
Ask New Edition.
Mama told me one day it was gonna happen
But she never told me when.
She told me it would happen when I was much older
Wish it would’ve happened then
Was it the end? Of course not. We were all skeptical of Jay-Z retiring. But then he took a president title at Def Jam and made us wonder. He was giving us mixed signals because he was still flowin’ on other people’s songs, and even did a song called Dear Summer for Memphis Bleek’s album. Soon enough, all his friends would spoil it. Kanye West earlier this year in an interview with Playboy Magazine stated that he was doing work for Jay-Z’s next album. Others said the same thing. The only questions were when, and of course, why he left in the first place. My guess has always been that in order to fully stay away and focus on his new endeavor, he had to make himself retire. Maybe we’ll really know sometime. But that brings us to his new album, Kingdom Come. What was hip hop’s worst kept secret becomes one of his three best albums. Of course, nothing he’ll ever do will touch Reasonable Doubt, but he’s in a much different space now. No longer slinging rock, he’s running the Roc. This may be hard to picture, but not only is Jay-Z focused (maaaaan), but he’s maturing and showing us his insecurities.
You wouldn’t think that you’d get an in depth Jay-Z album based on the first single alone. Show Me What You Got is a party starter with crazy horns including that reminiscent saxophone of Rump Shaker fame. Yes, all I wanna do is zoom a zoom zoom. That song. He apologizes for breaking his retirement by simply saying he’s sorry and then he goes into rapping about what else but himself. He compares himself to Michael Jordan and Lebron James and while it’s not the best statement that he’s back, it’s pure energy.
Dr. Dre gives Jay-Z a platform to talk about his some things on his mind on Lost One. He mentions his beef with Dame Dash and says that if it’s so easy, that Dame should make another Hov. But the most interesting verse is about a fictitious 23 year old starlet who is more in love with her job than with her man. Jay-Z says that he understands because if he was 23, he’d be more in love with work than her. But at the end, he says his time is short and she lost one. What’s most interesting is that Jay-Z is really good at creating stories out of what he’s seen in his life, only this time, it’s his own life he’s speaking about. Are we to believe and he and Miss Beyonce are done with? Who knows, but it’s a very interesting song that will get folks talking. He saves his last verse to talk about his nephew Colleek who passed away. He talks about how he feels pressure from the Lord since he died in the car he bought him. It’s an introspective song by someone who rarely gets introspective.
On 30 Something which is also produced by Dre, Jay-Z shows LL Cool J how an over 30 rapper should act. It’s a song about how at 30, he has more game than the youngsters and says that 30 is the new 20. Dre’s beat making alone on this album gives it some appeal as he was nowhere to be found on The Black Album. Dre also produces Minority Report in which Jay discusses Hurricane Katrina from his point of view. He says that he didn’t do his job by just giving money.
Sure I ponied up a mil
But I didn’t give my time
So in reality I didn’t give a dime
Or a damn
I just put my monies in the hands
Of the same people
That left my people stranded
The production is very similar to the track Meet The Parents from his second Blueprint album.
The Mike Jordan of Recordin’
Though he talks about real issues in his life for the majority of this album, he still knows how to make a party song and the title track is just that. Produced by Just Blaze, Kingdom Come utilizes a sample of Rick James’ Superfreak and before you start thinking Hammertime, think again. When I first heard the sample, I jumped out of my seat because of how creative Just Blaze was with it. He tells the rap game that he left as the king and he’s back as the king and even better. He even throws in a cute line about MC Hammer who owes his life to the sampling of Superfreak.
You breathe it, we need it
Bring it back for the hustlers
Had to dust off the hammer
Damn, can’t touch this
While you can tell, Jay put a lot of effort into making this album as seemless as possible, there are a couple down turns. I’m not sure if he felt that he had to use the Neptunes, but he does and Anything is the one song that sticks out as skippable. But because it features Usher, I have a feeling we’ll be hearing it soon enough. It’s a stripper song that’s probably the weakest lyrically on the entire album but he saves us this line which mocks those without as much paper as Jay.
They money is lighter
Like Nicole Ritchie
Roll with me
They on the diet baby
Poor Nicole Ritchie. Beach Chair is ambitious and is produced by Coldplay’s Chris Martin. The beat is interesting with hollow drums and some craziness that I can’t even really explain. Jay raps just above a whisper and compares life to a beach chair as if to say he gets what he deserves because he works hard and takes chances. While creative and interesting in theory, Jay’s lyrics and actual flow are a bit lazy. And if you can say anything negative about the album, it might be that Jay’s relaxed flow is a bit too relaxed.
But life really is a beach chair when your premier hook girl/girlfriend is maybe the best young female vocalist in the game. Beyonce sings a ferocious hook on Hollywood. Jay-Z talks about the evils of Hollywood comparing it’s addictiveness to heroin. Similarly, he talks about evils in the game on Trouble (another Dre track) where he throws a subtle shot at R. Kelly and mentions the rumor about him and former BET video jock Free. He raps that if his girl leaves him, it’ll be because of Halle, not nothing at all. He does get a little defensive at all the guys throwing darts at him (specifically Cam’Ron) on Dig A Hole. It’s produced by Beyonce’s favorite producer, Swizz Beatz and actually sounds like an Eminem beat. Jay mentions a specific rapper (Cam’Ron) who only sold records when he was wearing Jay’s chain.
People are going to be on the fence with this one. You’ll see reviews that are happy with the content and his maturity as far as what he’s rapping about. I mean, what issues do you have when you’re Jay-Z? What is there to complain about? But there are others who won’t enjoy the new topics and his lack of really getting at it as far as spittin’ is concerned. Though I appreciate the evolution of Jay-Z. Kingdom Come may not be Mike Jordan coming back wearin’ the 4-5, but it’s pretty close.
The deluxe edition gives you a DVD with footage from a concert at Royal Albert Hall which is great, but there’s so little of it that it feels like a waste. There’s also a short making of featurette (and I mean like 2 minutes) of the video for Show Me What You Got as well as the video itself. All of the DVD content clocks in at just over a half hour and it might not be worth the extra duckets.
Yahoo Movies has the new trailer which is playing before the new Bond movie. If you have Quicktime on your computer, you can watch it. It gave me chills. Click here to watch it.
Also, here’s a fan made video that’s pretty sweet.
After a full season of not watching this show, and catching up all in one night, it’s time for the final show. However, I have to disappoint you because the Professor of Zuckosolgy is not in the house tonight. He was too worried about the outcome and just wanted it to be over with. He has pretty much tried to stay away from any sort of television or radio all day long because he’s too nervous.
Eddy Zucko Nervous?
I was hoping to see some Stacy and some Jerry but all they did was recap last night’s show and then we get to see Emmitt and Cheryl do the same first dance as last night. Boring. Boring. Boring. AC got a hair cut. Emmitt didn’t need one. AC and Karina decide to redo their freestyle dance last night, which caused Eddy to throw up in his mouth a bit. If you want to see that routine, check it out below.
They show some woman who won a slim fast challenge and received free ballroom dancing lessons. Thankfully, I didn’t have to see several weeks of this.
They go through the entire season and show the greatness that is Harold Hamlin. They also show Jerry Springer learning the Waltz specifically to dance at his daughter’s wedding. Vivica A. Fox left the show and told everyone to “drop it like it’s hot”. You know she told 50 Cent that.
They decide to bring these folks back and show them again. Tucker Carleson really deserved to go first. The former Oscar De La Hoya is much prettier in pictures. But more importantly, Shanna Moekler dances to Jump Jump by Kris Kross. Harold comes on to dance the Quick Step. He’s no where near as good as his wife. Vivca A. comes out and says that her greatest role in film ever was with Jamie Foxx in Booty Call. Ok, she didn’t really do anything but dance, but you know she was thinking that. Where is Chuck Liddell’s fun buddy? Where’s Willa Ford? I need to see Willa Ford.
Ok, Willa is now on here. She’s actually prettier live. Sara Evans comes out and skips to her lou. I can’t even make a joke about her hubby. And I’ve been waiting to write one forever. Jerry Springer is next and he does something that might be described as either dancing, or having a fit. The Monique girl comes out and shows some attitude before Joey Lawrence gives us a patented “woah!”. At least he looked like he was doing it in his dance moves.
Since when did Eva Longoria become AC’s friend? Don’t tell me she was on Saved By The Bell back in the day. Well, they show George Lopez as his friend, rather than a relative. And Troy Aikman wears a shirt that would make any one of his football friends laugh their rears off. After watching this, there’s no way Emmitt can lose. He must now win. Watch Emmitt’s freestyle performance from last night below.
Ok, Willa isn’t cute in person and is better looking in pictures. That was like a strobe light honey moment if there ever was one.
Before we get to the final results, I need to say that no man should wear that headband that AC Slater wore during the rehearsals. That headband makes the guys on You Think You Can Dance look manly. Also, Karina says that she hopes her relationship with AC lasts a long time. I give it until next season when she has to dance with the Hulkster.
And now the final results. After screwing up last year’s vote, America gets it right tonight.
Your winner:
Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke
I think AC is going to cry. Karina looks upset.
Well, that will wrap it up until next year. I hear that one man will try to become the champion of all champions next year. After winning Celebrity Duets, I hear that this man is going to bring his dancing skills to this competition and win it all.
Brooke is in the studio recording her album. You see Scott Storch and the big fat guy that produced Danity Kane’s Sleep On It. Storch is like the worst wannabe pimp I’ve ever seen in my life. And the only reason he gets away with it is because he can make a hot beat or two. The big dude scolds Brooke for not training and warming up her voice properly and he’s going to put her on a strict program for her vocals.
Hulk and Linda chat about a call from Storch about Brooke’s performance. Storch told the Hulkster that she’s not doing a good job recording. Well, if you’ve heard the album, this is no surprise. The Hulk scolds Brooke about going out all the time and relaxing and practicing her vocals. And he said she needed to be “serious as a heart attack”. This is a great talk because Hulk is all about performance. That guy was always on.
They show Brooke and her size 13 feet in the shower, practicing, running, and working out. And while she’s doing all of this, she’s practicing these horrid notes.
The Hulkster talks about paying his dues and how Brooke has to work her ass off. He said he used to brush his teeth at the gas station. Now she’s crying. She does nothing all day long except sing, shop, and work out and she’s now tired. And exhausted. Poor baby.
Nasty Nick comes in and Brooke can’t talk because she’s saving her voice. I used to hear that Whitney Houston used to do this.
Brooke is recording with goof ball Storch at the Hit Factory. By the way, that big dude is Pooh Bear. He and Storch are wearing the same glasses and oversized shirts and medallions. They could be like a fat Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney. Storch also said that For The Moment could be her second single. Here’s what I said about that song on my review of the album.
For The Moment could be her savior on this album, but her voice again pretty much fails her. It’s an adult contemporary song for an 18 year old that is well done all around except for where it counts. If the person singing the song is only 18 can it be adult contemporary? Teenage contemporary?
Hulk and Linda congratulate Brooke on getting the vocals down, but then complain about her short skirt. Brooke then pulls out fake boob gels out of her shirt and puts them on Hulk’s arms and he acts like it will give him rabies. Then Linda puts it on her head and calls it a yarmulke. Nice job not offending folks there Linda.
CEO of SoBe Entertainment, Cecile Barker comes in to discuss Brooke’s image. He’s worried that Hulkamania might run wild on him when it comes to asking the Hulk to let the photographers have their way with Brooke. He talks about taking “creative control” on Brooke’s image and he wants her to be more sexy. Hulk says that as long as the dial isn’t turned up too much, he’s fine. Hulk says bathing suits should be sexy, but not too crazy. He says no lingerie and no models all over her. Cecile wants to make her look voluptuous and elegant.
Hulk says that Brooke’s MySpace page broke some sort of download record of one million plus. And then he mentioned that it’d be great if her album did that. Um, how about maybe 5 percent of that first week brother?
Brooke is surrounded by three shirtless men and the Hulkster is having a hard time with it.
Brooke is shooting her album cover which puts her in the some of the smallest pieces of clothing known to man and womankind. Hulk is an unhappy man. He says it’s not the same Brooke that he knows.
He’s now wearing an old nWo shirt. I wonder if the Rock runs around Hollywood wearing Rock shirts? Cecile shows Hulk the album cover and says it still captures her innocence and is hot. They also show Brooke the single and Linda starts crying. Cecile says they have 250,000 orders for her album. What they don’t tell us is that opening weekend, it sold 28,000. BMG is going to get a lot of copies of that album.
