I’m a bit behind on my Hogan family.

The show starts as Nick and Brooke go to a liquor store to get some food and directions and they can’t find anyone who speaks English because everyone is speaking Spanish. Brooke says that she doesn’t even feel like she’s in her own country anymore. I guess she only speaks blond.

Hogan says the universal language is friendship. Rock on! Linda decides that everyone should take Spanish classes. Hogan says when people call him “numero uno”, he understands that he’s the greatest. Then they start to go crazy.

Linda asks her house cleaner if she has any friends, as if all her friends clean houses. Surprisingly, this woman calls some friends. Linda also wants them to come clean her house every day.

Hulk tries to order a sandwich with double the turkey and the woman making the sandwich thinks he wants two sandwiches. She does finally get his sandwich right. He tries saying goodbye in Spanish to one woman, and she actually speaks English.

He then goes into a GNC and has problem ordering product because the woman speaks Spanish. I’d bet Hogan could shop at GNC with his eyes closed. Then he asks the lady for any product that helps with sex and in showing her what he’s talking about, he flexes his bicep. That must be the universal language for sex. Rather than the old finger going in and out of the circle motion. He buys some products to make his “cobra” bigger.

Linda puts the cream that Hogan bought for his “cobra” on her head and Nick asks who puts “weiner” cream on their forehead. Hogan says he’s now ready to learn Spanish and wants someone to come to the house to teach them.

Hogan is such a mark for himself that he wears this bright red and yellow Hulk Hogan jersey. They invite a woman over to their house to help them “understand the locals” and “communicate with the employees (house cleaners).

Nick wants to understand how to say, “I got a disco ball in my mouth.”

Hulk calls Linda “el stiffo” for her lack of sexual drive.

They decide to go to Little Havana and use their new language skills. Hulk buys a big hat and some cigars and becomes Tony Montana. Linda asks Brooke if she wants to take cooking lessons and Brooke asks why they should do that, when they can just be cooked for. Yep, she speaks blond.

Nick tells his Spanish teacher that he tried to order sandwiches and tested out his Spanish. But then he had to go find something else to eat because it just didn’t work out.

Hogan asks her how to say, “Whatcha gonna do, brother?” in Spanish.

Linda has an idea. She wants to cook Spanish food for her family as long as they will only speak in Spanish at the dinner table. Linda says that if Brooke doesn’t speak Spanish, she will ruin her night.

Hulk says, “Por favor jabrone” to Nick as if to say, “Please jabroni”. Linda doesn’t cook the chicken all the way through and Hogan can’t think of how to say “Booshit” in Spanish. But Brooke does say that the chicken is “mierda”, which pretty much means it’s like feces. Then Hogan says “Whatcha gonna do, brother?” in Spanish again. And then he says it again.

That was a fine episode.

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