Feb 26 2007
79th (2007) Academy Awards: Dreamgirls Or Die!
The main reason I wanted to watch this show was because of Dreamgirls. I wanted to see how the movie and the actors would get treated tonight. I loved every second of it and it’s the only thing I’m really interested. But in order for me to watch this show, I figured I might as well recap it to keep my interest.
One thing I always wondered was why this show out of all the awards shows is treated like it’s the most special. Is it just the motion picture industry itself is more respected? Is it because of all the money in the industry? Why does every guy wear a tux and every woman wear a designer dress? Why won’t I ever see anyone in jeans at this awards show unless a Wayans Brother was nominated? Let’s see if I can stay awake.
- Even the house announcer called it the “Gold Standard”. Why am I not that excited to watch the “Gold Standard” awards show?
- Ellen DeGeneres is your host tonight and she’s wearing a reddish-maroon-purple velvet suit that would make Prince blush.
- If you were a host, wouldn’t you want everyone to be like Will Smith in the audience? Has the Fresh Prince ever not enjoyed himself anywhere on earth?
- Nicole Kidman needs to get her money back from the doctor that decided to make her look like Meryl Streep.
- And the first award is ….. Best Art Direction. Way to start the show off with a bang guys.
- Pan’s Labyrinth won if anyone is interested.
- If you look really closely at the actual Oscars statue it kind of looks like the new Britney Spears.

- Will Ferrell’s new hairdo is taken from the William Katt page in the greatest hairdo’s of all time book.
- You’d think that Will Ferrell and Jack Black singing together would at least be a little funny. You’d be wrong.
- Is the Achievement In Makeup award sort of like the Best Country Song Not Sung By The Dixie Chicks award that never gets shown on the Grammys telecast?
- I always wanted to know who edited sound the best. Now I know - Bub Asman.
- Should you really be a presenter for the Academy Awards if you starred in the remake to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? I’m looking at you Jessica Biel.
- Dreamgirls just won for Achievement In Sound Mixing. Woohoo~! I say. Woohoo~!
- Who knew that the Jackie Earl Haley was the same Jackie Earl Haley who played the great Kelly Leak in The Bad News Bears?
- I wonder if it upsets Babyface that his ex-wife Traci is under Eddie Murphy’s arm now? I know it would upset me, as fine as Traci still is.
- Eddie Murphy was robbed by a man named Alan Arkin from Little Miss Sunshine in the Supporting Actor race. At least Eddie’s speech would’ve been more entertaining instead of nervous like Mr. Arkin’s. Ok, so what, I’m bitter.
- Martin Scorsese only needs a cigar in his mouth and a hat on his head and he’s a dead ringer for Groucho Marx.
- This show needs a shot of something - maybe Kanye West. Someone needs to be angry that they didn’t win.
- I remember liking Cameron Diaz once. Oh yes, it was when she was singing horrible karaoke in My Best Friend’s Wedding.
- Happy Feet just won for Animated Film and Lightning McQueen looked to be very upset.
- Tom Cruise presented Sherry Lansing with an award and then whispered something in her ear that looked like, “Those rumors about me aren’t true, I really have seen Katie Holmes naked. Really, I have!”
- Presenter Robert Downey Jr.‘s hair looks very much like Cameron Diaz’s during her date on There’s Something About Mary. Let’s hope it wasn’t for the same reason.

Robert Downey Jr.
- If she lost for Supporting Actress Jennifer Hudson was quoted as saying, “And I’m telling you, I’m not going nowhere.”
- They must’ve been scared as Effie White just won.
- After the second time she thanked God, they started playing the music to get her out of there. But she thanked Jennifer Holiday before they finally gave her the hook.
- Clint Eastwood just did the worst teleprompter reading of all time, and as they cut away, you can hear him saying, “I should’ve worn my glasses.” Come on Clint, you can’t be growing old in front of us.
- How long has Penelope Cruz been making movies in the US? You’re telling me that her accent is still that heavy? I’m not buying it.
- I once saw Fred Flintstone use tooth picks to keep his eye lids open. I wonder if that works…
- J. Lo is on screen talking about how much Motown inspired Dreamgirls. Berry Gordy just dropped his bowl of ice cream.
- Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson are on stage trying to out sing each other. Beyonce looks delicious by the way. Though I could’ve done without seeing Jennifer Hudson’s areola.
- Keith Robinson and Annika Rose are singing Patience with a little help from Beyonce and J-Hud. Eddie Murphy is no where to be found. I wonder if it has anything to do with him having to sing live?
- So there were three Dreamgirls songs up for Original Song and they all lost to Melissa Etheridge’s blue suit.
- By the way, if anyone didn’t set their Tivo to record long, their show ended with Melissa thanking her wife and their four children.
- I just pinched myself a couple times to make sure I’m still alive.
- I think Kate Winslet and Penelope Cruz were the only women up for Best Actress under 100 years old and they both lost. Helen Mirren won by the way for Queen.
- Who hid Reese Witherspoon and replaced her with Nicole Ritchie?
- Is it me, or does Ryan Gosling look like a less stoned version of David Arquette?
- The guy who played Charles Jefferson in Fast Times At Ridgemont High and who also directed Whitney Houston in Waiting To Exhale just won the award for Best Actor. His name? Forest Whitaker.
- And the winner for the Best Director award goes to …. Groucho Marx! Better known as Martin Scorsese.
- Finally, as my eyes are falling out of my head, the Best Motion Picture award goes to …. The Departed.
- Next time I can’t sleep, I’m going to re-watch this show. Goodnight!








