Yes, I know, I’m about 7 days late with this thing. But I was in Cancun and television doesn’t work the same way. Better late than never eh? I don’t know anything that happened on last Tuesday or Wednesday and the only one who tried to spoil it was Hea Jin. I barely avoided her attempt to become the ruiner.

But I’ll be quick. I don’t have a guest because Cesar from Cancun doesn’t watch the show. He only watches Latin American Idol, so we wouldn’t have been on the same page. And we’re saving Lionel Richie for the finale.

The Hot List (based on last week’s performances)

1. David Cook – I’m flip flopping David and Carly only because she was in the bottom three last week.
2. Carly Smithson – Still the best singer, but some people don’t like the tattoos.
3. David Archuleta – Don’t call it a comeback, he’s been here for, um, weeks.
4. Brooke White – Likability pushes her ahead of Chikezie.
5. Chikezie – Still the most entertaining performer on the show.
6. Jason Castro’s Dread Locks – The longer he stays on, the Sanjaya factor will start hurting him.
7. Syesha Mercado – I think that slowly but surely, she’s going to pick up some votes.
8. Ramiele Malubay – Unlike Brenda K. Starr, I not sure believe any more.
9. Michael Johns – He’s starting to annoy me.
10. Kristy Lee Cook – Deer in headlights.

The Departed

1. Young David Hernandez
2. Young Amanda Overmyer

Now that Amanda’s gone, the only performer left that truly bothers me is Michael Johns. He needs a healthy injection of charisma. Jason Castro’s Dread Locks doesn’t annoy me quite yet, but if they continue to let him speak, he might. If he doesn’t make it in music, they could always remake Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures again.

Does Paula have carpel tunnel in both wrists?

The theme for tonight’s show is the year they were born, which I think means choosing a song that came out during their birth year. It’s going to be funny when Archuleta chooses the Backstreet Boys.

Ramiele Malubay is up first and she has to choose a song from 1987. Huey Lewis anyone? Nope, she’s singing With Hearts Alone. Ryno just said that it’s a crucial time for her. Are they already foreshadowing? We’re only in the third week. Jeez. She’s also in the first spot which is tough because unless she’s great, she’s going to be the forgotten one. She tries to kick the song into high gear after a slow start, but she’s over singing big time. It’s almost like she can’t hear how loud she’s singing. She’s lost all her confidence. Randall says it wasn’t the right song choice and the song was too big. Paula gives Ramiele a lot of credit and brave. That was a new one for her. Simon says he thinks she’ll get through it again. If Cesar was here, he would’ve said that it wasn’t berry much too good.

Jason Castro’s Dread Locks is next and remember how a couple of paragraphs prior I said that he needs to stop talking because he’s going to annoy me? Well, they didn’t listen to me. They gave him more time to talk. Someone is going to make a t-shirt that says, “Ahuh, ahuh” because that’s his trademark. He said that when he was younger, he looked pretty much the same as now except maybe he was cuter and a little pudgier as a baby. Um, dude, you also have these logs on your head now that you didn’t have before. I may have to single handedly vote this young man out. He’s singing Fragile and he’s jamming on the guitar. His performance this week is ten times better than last week. He’s more in his realm. He almost made up for the two minutes before this. Randall says it was a good song choice and it was alright. Paula says he was in his niche. Simon says he needs to take it a little more seriously and he’s too laid back.

Jeez, Syesha Mercado was born in 1987 too? Syesha’s mom needs some more teeth. She’s doing If I Was Your Woman.  Wow. She’s in pocket here. The fans need to really stop that arm waving thing. Especially during such a good performance. Just listen with your ears people. Not only was the vocal good, but her stage presence was awesome. She’s in it to win it. Randall says it was the best he’s ever heard her sing. Paula says she flipped it and became the dark horse. Simon says the song stretched the limit on her vocals. But he still thought it was her best performance. Cesar would’ve said it was berry, berry, berry good. Orlando Cepeda and Sammy Sosa would be so proud.

Chikezie is next. I like the print on ‘Kezie’s button up. That’s kind of tight. He was born in 1985 and is singing If Only. While it started off just a bit shaky, he cleaned it up once he started having fun with it. Can ‘Kezie be the goofy luva luva man? It comes off kind of corny, but the voice is there. Randall says it was too old school and boring. Paula says it was a good throwback. Simon says he sang it well, but the performance was cheesy. ‘Kezie looked a little upset, but Paula came in and saved the day for him.

At least Brooke White was born in 1983. Man, she’s wearing her hair straight again. And she’s doing Every Breath You Take. Is Diddy going to jump in and start dancing? Whoops, she had to restart. She’s sitting behind the piano trying to duplicate the bigness of that song. It’s not working for me. Thankfully she’s likable. Randall says it was an interesting song choice and liked it better before the band came in and helped her. Paula says she enjoyed it so much more than last week. Simon says that if she would’ve stayed on the piano, it would’ve been better. They just showed hubby again and he smiled on queue.

I’m only two years older than Michael “Where Is The” Johns. Ok, I like him a little more now. In his video before his performance, he talked about his relationship with his sister and when they wanted to piss each other off, they’d do this face that meant, “I’m too good for you”. It consisted of a little shimmy with lips pursed and eyebrows going up and down every second. I think I might do that to my sister when I see her this weekend. He’s singing We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions. I’m not sure I liked the We will, we will, rock you part, but when he went into the second song, I was into it. Maybe I liked The Mighty Ducks sequel more than any grown man should, but I was taken back to Goldberg and Knuckle Puck. Really good performance for “Take Me To The” Johns. The female part of the crowd is going crazy. Randall says that was the best performance since he’s been on the show. Paula says he found his right song. Simon says he found star potential for the first time with him. Cesar would’ve called him a gringo, but said that it was berry good.

Carly Smithson is another one born in 1983. She was named after Carly Simon. Who didn’t see that coming? She’s singing Total Eclipse Of The Heart.

(Jessica, who is going to be a guest of mine in the upcoming weeks, has seen Carly perform live in San Diego before. I bet you she’s seen Carly sing this one before)

It definitely seems that Carly has done this one a few hundred times. Her voice sounds a bit strained tonight though. She goes into screaming mode at one point. I think she knew that her vocals weren’t all there tonight and she went into theatrics mode. Randall says he didn’t love it and it was just ok. Paula says she can do no wrong tonight. Simon says she was tense and uptight. Carly tried to save it by making a bathroom joke and Ryno’s punchline was, “Did you flush?” Um, that’s not going to get her votes Ryno.

Big Dave Archuleta is next and I can’t wait to see what Britney Spears song he’s going to choose. He’s singing You’re The Voice. I think the song choice is a little too “We Are The World”. He’s able to do some interesting things with his voice though. I’m split. He’s obviously got a nice voice and is talented, but I think he needs to pick something that keeps his cool factor with the kiddos high. Randall says the song choice was strange, but says he has mad skills. Paula says he could sing the phone book and she’d fall in love with it. Simon says he didn’t like it at all and was reminiscent of a theme park performance.

Kristy Lee Cook was born in 1984 and according to her, was born smiling. She’s singing God Bless The USA. She also did something funky with her hair. Jeez, two odd song choices in a row. Am I wrong for not liking this song as much as others? Am I anti-American? It’s a great song choice for her, but couldn’t she have found another country song from 1984? She’s just not a good enough singer to pull everything in this song off. Randall says it was nice. Paula says it was poignant and respectful and her voice is sounding stronger. Simon says it was her best performance. But isn’t that like saying I was the best I’ve ever been at understanding Spanish last week? I was still terrible.

David Lee Cook, I mean David Cook is next. And he’s bringing it. He’s singing Billie Jean and not in the way Michael Jackson did it. I was a little worried, but then he tore it up. It’s a much slower version and it’s almost as if my ear has to be retrained, but I still appreciate the guy’s creativity. This is his world. Everyone else just lives in it. Randall says he might win the whole lot. Paula says she’s blown away and that he’s brilliant. Simon says it was brave and amazing. If Cesar were here, he would’ve said that Billie Yean wasn’t his lover either. She was just his one night stand.

Three folks were just a cut above. Syesha, Johns, and D. Cook were great tonight. Ok, maybe only Cook was truly great. But they stole the show. If I’m Ramiele, I’m pretty worried.

And Then There Were 12
And Then There Were 11