I shortened the title to this post. “These Are” didn’t seem necessary today.

I was in So. Cal this weekend and Jessica and I finally saw The Dark Knight. What a great flick. There was such an immense attention to detail and the director’s vision was so creative, yet logical at the same time.

It was the first movie that Jessica and I have seen together in person, and I’m not sure there’s a more fun person to watch a movie with. I’m not the type of film watcher who shuns people who talk during movies. If someone wants to make a comment, I can both watch the film and pay attention to their comment at the same time. I know there are some people who need to be completely focused at all times, or else they can’t get into movies. I’m not that guy. But she is the single loudest person in the theater. Even when she knows to expect to be surprised, she still screams and jumps in her seat. She laughs at most of the punchlines, even if they aren’t great. But she’s also really good at seeing where things are going several minutes before they happen. And she voices that out loud as well. So if you don’t see where things are going, and don’t want to know, you’re going to have to just tune her out.

I just finished watching the gold medal basketball game between Team USA and Spain and it was an excellent basketball game. Spain was the perfect underdog. They were fundamentally sound, but had just the right recipe of players to match up against USA. But man, they play some bush league basketball. I understand that when you play the more talented team, you have to do a few things to try to take them out of the game and see if you can upset their composure. That has been the achilles heel of Team USA, even when they were still winning gold medals. But it didn’t work here and it just made Spain look like a bunch of loud mouthed jerks. They set screens high on players before half court. They hold guys when they’re trying to run back on defense. And they do so much pointing and yelling and screaming that you would’ve thought they were getting screwed out of something.

Pau Gasol tried to hold Dwight Howard when he was running back on defense and Howard slapped backwards with his arm, and in the process, flicked Gasol in the face. Gasol came back on defense and after Howard was fouled, got right in his face and pretended like he was going to start something. And his brother Marc, who looks like a man who just came from the woods, was pure thuggery on the court. But mix in a nice little touch and good footwork around the bucket, and he’ll be a good bench player in the NBA. Spain was good enough to play the game straight, but I guess they felt the only way they could compete until the end was to try to play the game a bit roughly. That’s fine. But then don’t flop on every play as well.

I jokingly had a talk with the kids the other day about playing baseball again. I just wanted to gauge what they thought about it. And they were all for it. They have watched me play almost a hundred times, but they were so young that they don’t really remember.

I thought back as to why I quit, and part of the reason was the divorce. I probably didn’t blame that, and it wasn’t the biggest reason, but the fact of the matter is, when you don’t have that support, it’s much harder to take up an entire Sunday afternoon to play baseball. I also remember being scolded by my dad for continuing to play when Brian was playing flag football on Sunday. Now, I can’t remember the last time I was scolded before that and this was only a few years ago, but I remember him saying that I have to stop being selfish and be with Brian and help him. I didn’t say it at the time, but it did bother me a bit, but it wasn’t his fault that it bothered me. I pretty much keep my feelings close to the vest. And at that time, baseball was my only real release from what was going on at the time. It was the only way I could stop life for a few hours and feel normal again, like my life wasn’t crumbling before me, which is what divorce and separation feels like. Of course, my life didn’t crumble, but that’s what it was feeling like at the time.

But my reason for playing again doesn’t really have to do with that. I don’t need it for that. I don’t have to try and put life on pause. It’s fine now. And I don’t miss the competition all that much either. I remember when I didn’t play last year, someone asked me if I missed it. And I honestly didn’t. I just didn’t think about it much. After playing baseball for 23 straight years, I probably did need a break. But I guess the reason I think I want to play again has to do with the fact that I stopped playing to take care of a situation more so than because I truly wanted to. It would’ve made my life much harder had I decided to continue playing. But now, not so much.

There are so many things I need to do before I can even apply myself to playing again. When I stopped playing, my wrists were in pretty bad shape. And after being on a computer for many hours every day since then, I doubt the pain is gone. In fact, all I have to do is play softball or even grip and swing a bat a few times and the tingling in my hands and wrists comes back. I also need to get back into shape. I wasn’t really in playing shape the last two years that I played and it showed. I played ok, but not like I wanted to. But I also didn’t have Jessica, who is a licensed massage therapist, to put me back together after every game. She can probably help take that next day pain away. And it will be great to have that support again.

Will I play? Who knows. A few things need to fall into place first. I’d love to play again on the right terms though. I probably don’t have many years left. JJ is a baseball fanatic. Brian has some talent to play as well. Maybe it will be fun for them. And they are at an age to where they can remember watching me play. I think I was at least 14 when my dad stopped playing completely. I remember those games well.

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