The Bachelor Finale Live Blog – #LOLO4DOLO

Bachelover live blog

Follow along the Bachelor finale live blog.

It’s not exactly live unless you live on the West Coast. And even then, we get it on a tape delay. We just have to pretend it’s live. So let’s pretend.

Well, I’ve got two lovers and I ain’t ashamed
Two lovers and I love them both the same

The late, great Mary Wells emoted it best. Young Benjamin Higgins told two different women he loved them. The first, Lauren (forever known to me as Lolo), has been his #BAE from the start. She was the first one who caught his eye, and from the get-go, I figured she was going to be the leader in the clubhouse. Somehow, JoJo caught his attention and made it to the final two. If Young Benjamin chooses Lolo, it’s a bit predictable and there’s no suspense. But if he chooses JoJo, it’s a bit of a swerve and everything I know about Young Benjamin is a lie.

However, there is a theory making its way around that Young Benjamin’s eyes (and nether regions) were opened by JoJo post-coitus. It’s quite possible that JoJo rocked his world and dropped it like it’s hot.

Still, I’m picking Lolo. Lolo is going for dolo.

For my money, I would’ve chosen Lace, who is crazy/beautiful and to anyone who shakes their head at me for that, I have four words for you.

As Arsenio Hall once said (and JoJo if she in fact rocked Ben’s world), let’s get busy.

8:04 – Chris Harrison teases that there may be a wedding tonight. Both families are in studio as is Young Benjamin’s pastor. Have we thought about Benjamin possibly being Mormon? Is it out of the realm of possibility?

8:12 – As Young Benjamin meets his parents to discuss his predicament, I have only one thought. Is he going thin on top? How do Lolo and Jojo feel about this? Soon, he might have to comb from back to front.

8:16 – Pops Higgins is interviewing Lolo. It would’ve been awesome if he started singing the Mary Wells song above out of nowhere. Moms Higgins is more skeptical about her son’s decision-making prowess. She tells Lolo that Benjamin is intense. I think she’s also a bit disappointed that Benjamin can’t make a decision. She’s ready to call BS on her own son.

Bachelor finale live blog

Rebel or JoJo

8:19 – One of Benjamin’s strategic moves this season has been that whenever one of the women brought a serious situation to him, he gazed into their eyes and started to make out with them. Lolo tells him that she’s in love with him, but she’s only going to get married one time and it has to be for real. He gazes into her eyes. And they start making out. At least my man is consistent.

8:26 – JoJo meets Benjamin’s parents and Benjamin tells them that they’ve had moments together that he’ll never forget. I almost felt Moms Higgins rolling her eyes while he was talking. I’m waiting for her to “accidentally” mention Lolo while talking to Jojo, but it never happens.

8:28 – Is it just me or does JoJo look like a young Rebel Alley?

8:33 – Have we thought about the possibility that Benjamin has two hearts? I feel like this should be discussed.

8:41 – Over 40 minutes into the show and I still think Benjamin is Team Lolo. This is how I predict that they tell JoJo.

8:44 – Lolo knows he told her that he loves her. So, unless she believes he told JoJo as well, she has to figure she’s a shoe-in right? On the beach, Benjamin tells her that he has a lot on his mind. If she was number one, unless he’s just emo, why would he be frustrated at this point? And then it started raining. Uh oh, that might be a tell. I still have to stay strong on Team Lolo island.

8:51 – Young Benjamin is continuing to be emo with Lolo. Come on Lolo! Strategic coitus will work!

8:53 – Uh oh, Benjamin just dropped the, “No matter what happens…” That’s another tell. And she knows it. She feels like the runner up. Don’t go home Lolo! You know what to do!

9:01 – Benjamin says that it’s not like Lolo has taken a step back. It’s that JoJo has caught up. He also calls JoJo exciting. She must’ve rocked his world!

9:04 – I feel like Benjamin has to gauge everything. If he partially made his decision on who looked best in a bikini, I think JoJo has it in the bank.

9:12 – This is weird. In any real scenario, JoJo has every right to be upset at Benjamin’s indecisiveness. But since it’s a game, she has to play this carefully, worried that how she acts may sway his decision. And really, how ridiculous is that?

9:15 – Benjamin dropped the best friend label on JoJo! Is that good or bad? JoJo, if you want to reign this thing in, rock his world girl.

9:17 – Benjamin tells JoJo that he told Lolo that he loved her as well. Why be honest now? Of all times to be honest! What are you doing Benjamin?

9:39 – This is the weirdest thing. Benjamin is waiting for his bride in his suit. Chris Harrison walks JoJo toward him. And it’s like she’s still trying to get him to choose her, right up until the last minute. Benjamin tells her that he found love with her, but he found it with someone else more. Lolo for dolo!

9:42 – JoJo, don’t take anymore from this dude. Leave! Get pissed off! Kick him in the nuts!

9:44 – She feels she’s blindsided, but I don’t think she could’ve been. He was pretty honest with her. However, if she sees Lolo, she should say, “If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck…”

9:54 – After just crying his eyes out for JoJo, Benjamin asks Lolo’s dad for her hand in marriage. The guy has some testicular fortitude, that’s for sure.

9:59 - You’re my person.

10:13 – Chris Harrison has JoJo and Ben meet for the first time (I guess) since the breakup. JoJo is a champ. She’s too savvy and smart to not understand the game. She’d actually be a really good Bachelorette too.

10:24 – Don’t do this to yourself JoJo. She asks Benjamin what the deciding factor was. He says it took him up until the last day to choose Lolo. I don’t believe him. He needs more people.

By the way, JoJo is the new Bachelorette. Good for her. She’s good on TV.

10:37 – So are Benjamin and Lolo getting married or not?

10:43 – Lolo says she’s moving to Denver. She says she’s ready to marry him soon, but wants to date a little bit. The poor Pastor was waiting and everything.

10:55 – Pops Higgins says they have a great girl coming into the family.

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