American Idol’s Final Season – The Final Finale

final finale

It’s time for the last episode of American Idol ever, the final finale.

Since I was in the spirit of reminiscing, I put together my favorite (not best) American Idol contestants.

(By the way, @TVProducerLady and I put together a top 20 list of the best contestants a couple of years ago. You can read part one and part two at Big Money’s Popblerd. Also, I learned that David Archuletta’s fanbase is strong.)

Here’s my fav 10:
500. Constantine Maroulis (just so you know who sits last)
10. Haley Reinhart
9. Melinda Doolittle
8. Phillip Phillips
7. Chris Daughtry
6. Blake Lewis
5. Kelly Clarkson
4. Fantasia
3. Elliott Yamin
2. Adam Lambert
1. Scott Savol (just kidding)
1. Big Rube Studdard

I’m going to be sad that it’s gone. But let’s not tear up quite yet as I’m sure it will get dusty in the room a few times. Let’s get to the final finale. And we’re going time capsule style.

8:00 – Hey it’s President Obama! You know the show is important when President Obama is talking about being pitchy, dawg.

8:02 – At first, I thought they were just going to have the season 15 contestants sing. And then, they brought out alumni from prior seasons. And then more. And then more. But really, they could’ve faked it and brought up some people from the audience and most wouldn’t know the difference. I spotted Kat McPhee, Kimberly Locke, Georgie Huff, Big Rube, Scotty McCreery, and sadly, Constantine. Nope, I didn’t see Scott Savol. Where’s my boy Corey Clarke? Free Corey Clarke!

8:03 – Damnit, they had to ruin the great Ryno Seacrest’s show open by adding Brian Dunkleman. There’s a reason why you fired him Idol producers! Actually, it was a pretty cool moment.

8:06 – Jenny Lo is the reflection of perfection, the number one selection.

8:09 – It was time for the uncomfortable pairing of the two finalists having to do a duet. It may take two, but no one really cared.

8:14 – My wife, Kara Dioguardi is back! And she’s performing with Jordin Sparks and Tamyra Gray. I was hoping Lil’ Rounds would join them. Actually, I wasn’t. I just haven’t said the name Lil’ Rounds in about 5 years.

Kara’s still got it by the way.

8:16 – It’s time for memory lane.
- Hey, it’s Colton Dixon! What’s awesome about this show is that you can see how badly some of these Idols have aged over the years.
- If you ever wanted to see the pairing of Justin Guarini and Jordin Sparks singing No Air, this is your day. Justin better hope that Chris Brown doesn’t find out about this and come after him.
- Kim Locke! She’s got to be singing backup for someone. I also saw Allison Iraheta there. And yes, I had to do some research on what her name was.
- Allison’s a bit of a spitfire. There’s been a Pia Toscano sighting. Quickly, get to Google searching. I’ll repeat. There’s been a Pia Toscano sighting.
- What a weird time to re-introduce the pants on the ground guy.

8:27 – Kelly Clarkson is close to giving birth to her baby. So we get a tape delay performance of Kelly giving us all the hits. I surely hope she performs my favorite Kelly song ever, Anytime.

Sadly, she didn’t. But she closed with A Moment Like This for old time’s sake. The woman still has a fantastic voice.

8:33 – More memory lane time. Ryan brought out all the Idol rockers.
- I see Caleb Johnson, Constantine (boo), James Durbin and Bo Bice’s dad. Wait, that’s actually Bo Bice.
- Your favorite Idol loser Chris Daughtry (unless you loved Jennifer Hudson more) is out and he actually looks exactly the same as he did. Go bald over balding fellas.
- What? No Danny Gokey?

8:41 – It’s fast-forward time with Keith Urban. Oh wait, there’s a skeleton with him. Whoops. That’s Carrie Underwood.

8:43 – They didn’t even let Sanjaya on the stage! He was sitting in the crowd like a fan. Actually, as I think about it, it’s probably the best usage of him.

8:44 – I love this. More memory lane, country style.
- Diana DeGarmo, how are you doing? Where’s Ace Young? Skylar Laine, um, I’m not quite sure why you’re here, but welcome. Kree Harrison, I remember you!
- Jesus. More Constantine. And yes, I called this one – Ace Young. And the great Bucky Covington who looks just as unkempt and scraggly as ever.
- Lauren Alaina turned quite foxy. I can say this because she’s finally 21. Kelly Pickler was probably better on Dancing With The Stars than she was on Idol, but hey.
- Looks like Scotty McCreery is hitting cleanup, like he should be.

8:57 – Okay, we’re overdoing it on memory lane here.
- Kat McPhee and Casey James (don’t say who) are performing together which segues into Carly Smithson (and her tattooes) singing near a harp. So cool to see Carly, who made the honorable mention of my favs list.
- Sadly, Clay Aiken isn’t singing Invisible. But for some odd reason, he looks like a young and thin Donald Trump.
- It’s Big Rube Studdard and Amber Holcomb’s turn (okay, I’ll admit that I don’t remember Amber). And Jessica Sanchez! This is the first time I’ve seen her sing outside of Manny Pacquiao fights.

9:09 – Don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got ladies and gentlemen, she’s still Jenny from the block. J. Lo has always been more sizzle than steak, but I don’t think I’ve ever complained about it so I won’t start now. And plus, we’ll always have Selenas.

9:11 – What’s better than aging gracefully? Aging slowly? Aging in reverse?

9:14 – She left us on a high note giving us the greatest booty shake of all-time. God bless our national treasure, J. Lo.

9:20 – They’re really bringing out the powerhouses now. Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia, and LaToya London are singing an acapella version of Bridge Over Troubled Water. LaToya may have just given Diana DeGarmo a 12-year old stank eye for stealing her spot in the season 3 finale.

9:22 – More memory lane, but this time from the R&B side.
- Let’s start with the great Brandon Rogers (come on, I wanted to be nice), Clark Beckham, Georgie Huff, the aforementioned Danny Gokey (I must have some sort of Idol ESP or something), and my guy Elliott Yamin.
- I think it’s time for a Fantasia comeback America. The woman still has it.
- Taylor Hicks doesn’t look a day over 65.
- Joshua Ledet looks like he’s trying to get his freak on after the show.
- Candice Glover and Mindy Doo – a powerhouse couple if I’ve ever seen one.

9:33 – Memory lane is getting a little long in the tooth here. It’s David Bowie tribute time.
- There’s Phillip squared. I was wondering where they were hiding my man.
- Lee DeWyze looks just as high as he did when he won his season. There’s a reason I called him Lee DeWeed.
- Is there a worse and more useless Idol winner than Nick Fradiani?
- And just like that, Kris Allen shows his face. I guess he heard me talking about Nick and decided that he was more useless and worse.
- David Cook performed with a smirk that said, “I can’t believe you put me with some of these guys.”

9:39 – Just what I was waiting for: it’s Randy and Paula time! Wait, where’s Simon? There he is! It’s a bearded Simon Cowell.

9:43 – And now William Hung. Okay, American Idol, let’s hurry up and go home. Ricky Martin must roll in his grave whenever Hung performs. Wait, Ricky Martin’s still alive?

9:51 – I’ve had enough of Carrie. Did we need another Carrie spot? I rooted for Bo Bice! I hoped that Bo would win! Take that Carrie Underwood!

10:00 – It’s finally time. Let’s get to it Ryno. La’Porsha or Trent?

10:01 – Trent Harmon wins in the biggest upset since Kris Allen beat Adam Lambert. And really, we should’ve figured this one out even though I didn’t think America would screw this one up. Simply put, America loves voting for white guys, including 8 of the last 9 winners.

Trent is really good and I’m happy for him, but La’Porsha deserved to win it. For one last time, America got it wrong.

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