Decoded – Pink Cookies In A Plastic Bag Getting Crushed By Buildings

Pink Cookies In A Plastic Bag Getting Crushed By Buildings

I try and decode Pink Cookies In A Plastic Bag Getting Crushed By Buildings.

In 1993, hot off his non-comeback album, Mama Said Knock You Out, LL Cool J didn’t want to lose what he had going and released 14 Shots To The Dome. The album wasn’t as well received by his own fans and the hip hop community. It felt like a retread of sound rather than an innovation of sound from the self-proclaimed Future Of The Funk.

All that being said, lead single How I’m Coming was number one on the rap charts. Back Seat (Of My Jeep) in all of its raunchiness was memorable (and then later sampled in Monica’s more popular debut single). But the most interesting single was Pink Cookies In A Plastic Bag Getting Crushed By Buildings.

What in the blue hell is this song about? The word from LL back then was that the song was actually about safe sex. He even performed this song on Regis and Kathy Lee. You know they didn’t know what he was rapping out. I’ve tried to figure this one out for a while. I want to call BS on L and just say that it’s not really about anything clear and he wanted it to make it seem like it was.

Much like Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town, I’m decoding this one.

The act of makin’ love…is…

Pink cookies in a plastic bag, gettin’ crushed by buildings
Pink cookies in a plastic bag, gettin’ crushed by buildings

According to LL, making love is the title of the song. Now what can pink cookies be? Pink cookies must be what Foxy Brown was rapping about in the Ill Nana. And those cookies are in a plastic bag, which must be the same thing as a body bag. And getting crushed by buildings must be about the pilly packer.

So we get the sexual metaphor there. Now what about the rest of this song?

I’ll take 30 electric chairs
And put ‘em in a classroom
30 MCs and set ‘em free from their doom
Just like a tomahawk cuts through the wind
When we begin
The wheel of fortune, it spins
Holdin’
The rhythm like elastic
Moldin’
Your whole body like plastic
So why try to deny what you already know ya love
Up above

Basically, LL wants to take 30 MCs and not only put them in electric chairs but turn them on, with the electricity cutting through them like a tomahawk in the wind. Man, what a mean guy. He crushes MCs like he crushes, well, pink cookies.

Cause the mania, hysteria
In the streets
While ya lovers gettin’ merrier
In the sheets
I met this lady named
Sweet young thing and
She gave me that feelin’
That sunshine bring in
Hoardable, sportable
Totally affordable
Silky smooth
Voice was real audible

Love is in the air and my guy L met someone who gave him the feeling of sunshine. She was hoardable and sportable? I think my guy was making things up at this point like when he rapped “blowticious” with “delicious” in the Flava In Your Ear remix. At least she was affordable. She was probably a little different than a girl from around the way. Maybe L’s taste had changed in those last two years.

I said you’re cool as Ice Cube-a
She said, “you’re that Public Enemy
I seen on the tube-a.”
Nah, I’m like your Uncle baby
The style of your beautiful face
Drives me crazy
Well can we do ya so Heavy, I’m D?
She said, “You tried to play me
Like Big Dad-dy.”
I said, “I know your Tribe
I Called and re-Quested
For you to be manifested.”

So he’s using his competitors in his rhyme of a made-up conversation with this sweet young thing. Why would you want to shout at Ice Cube when he was at his angriest? And remember when he used to call himself Uncle L? He wants to do her with his heavy D? Was Heavy D’s name a double entendre? I just thought he was fat and his name was Dwight?

He references Big Daddy Kane and A Tribe Called Quest all why trying to sex up this young lady.

She said, “You know the Same Gang and my Flava Unit too?”
I said, “You only knew the certain things I wanna do, do you?”
Rub ya down with warm Ice-T
Make ya feel Brand Nubian
In-stant-ly
Boogie Down
And check this Production
Gimme them lips
They look good for suction

Look at LL shout out the West Coast Rap All Stars and Queen Latifah’s crew. But who wants to get rubbed down with warm iced tea? Or even a warm Ice-T?

She said, “Sweet tease
Cool with a little almond joy
On the side
Just doin’ the fly”
You like poundcake?
Come to my house
Turn on the lights
And see me on the couch
I said, “You’re jinglin’
You’re from around the way
I like your earrings: Ls
But anyway…

These are some weird bars. L’s still trying to be cute, but then he says she should come to his house, turn on the lights, and see him on the couch. She’s just going to watch him sitting on the couch and posing? Is it a surprise? Is she not supposed to know he’s on the couch, since he’s sitting there in the dark for some reason?

Your grand-daddy is here to spread cheer
Somethin’ nice and smooth
With my tongue in your ear
Give me a snack
Some salt and pepper on a burger
Ice Cream Tea
Or if you prefer the
Taste of honey
Kid, ride in my Capri and
That’s the joint
They got the real clear CD in
She said, “Stars couldn’t get me in a car
I don’t know what type of man ya are
You might know karate
Do me and get away
I got a glimpse of your license plate
N-W-A.”

L’s still using the name of rappers and groups in his rhymes, but he’s really stretching for meaning here. First he was her uncle and now he’s her grand-daddy? This girl’s getting younger and younger. Also, those last few bars there are weird. He’s speaking as her. She says that stars couldn’t get her in a car as if L isn’t that famous. Not that many people were more famous than L in 1993. And then she says she’s not sure what type of man he is and that he might know karate, have sex with her, and leave. So he might throw a roundhouse dick at her? Okay, that was a clever line.

She was chubb-y and
Ready to rock
Naughty By Nature and
Part of my private stock and
Ridin’ in the relax
Frame of mind and
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm…
Hammer time’

Shout out to Chubb Rock. I can’t imagine L giving hammertime to a sweet young thing who looked like Chubb Rock.

Incredible
So edible
And unforgettable
Soft like a Q-Tip
I’d love to get with you
Cause I’m the type of guy that got props due
Feel it in mo and more…
(toilet flushes)

Those are some nothing bars, except what does the flushing of the toilet signify? He’s the type of guy that is due props or propers. That’s fine. He’s feeling it mo and more. Then, toilet flush. I’ll never get that.

When I get ready for a showcase
Put together well
I go deep
And have an oil well
Show and tell
I said, “Yo-Yo!
You’re so intelligent
And elegant.”
I n-I never Run to be D
With another MC
I got what I want
Right in front of me
I know a kid named K
He’s a MD
Last time I heard
Yo, was gettin’ real friendly
Belly to belly and
Chest to chest
Thigh by thigh
Leg by leg and
I guess

He is talking up his girl again, but suddenly says that he heard about her and a kid and they were getting real friendly and knocking boots. Why even bring that up dude? Don’t tell me you’re going to get all Lawrence on Issa on her.

Ain’t no way to get ya out
You’re so caught up S-E-X-U-A-L – sort
Of a freaky situation
With a peppermint twist
Ricky or Mike is next on the list
Nastified and all-funkified
Come on
Come on
Come on
Ride
Can you hear?
Never fear
What ya hear
What ya hear
Is it clear?
Understand
And love ya big dear
And I will appear
My dear
With a beer
And bags full of cheer
And waterbed…
YEAH!

So let me see if I can get this straight. L’s girl is very freaky. Ricky Bell and Mike Bivins are next on her sexual list. After she gets done with 2/3 of BBD, LL will show up with some beer, bags full of cheer which I’m assuming are drugs, and a waterbed. Now, are Ricky and Mike still there? Or does L get thirds?

Cause I rumble and groan
She said, “You got to be bad to
Make the Monie moan.”
Ain’t no reason to front
On the way your life shown
Booyaa!
How I’m jumpin’ your bones
Like a Grand
Master in a Flash
Put out your cigarette
And rest your tired ash
All I wanna do
Is make whoopie
Your my pink cookie
Not a wookie
When you take it off
I’d love a lookie
Cause I’mma mix it up toss style
Peace out
You got the sexual profile

L wants to get it in. And she’s going to need a cigarette after it’s done. All he wants to do is have sex, preferably since she doesn’t look like Chewbacca from Star Wars.

So if you put it all together, it’s hogwash right? It doesn’t make any sense at all. The title is a euphemism for safe sex. And if you want to stretch the meaning, he’s making fun of his fellow rappers as if he’s crushing them like he crushes pink cookies. But otherwise, it’s a long, long (and bad) story about trying to get in a sweet young thing’s jeans. And that’s it.

Really, what I think happened is that LL had this grandiose idea about trying to use rappers’ names in puns throughout the song, but couldn’t form a sensible narrative so he just made it as whacky as possible. Otherwise, it’s too nonsensical.

Though I do wonder if that line’s ever worked.

“Hey girl, how you doin? Pink cookies in a plastic bag, getting crushed by buildings.” (Wink)

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2 Thoughts on “Decoded – Pink Cookies In A Plastic Bag Getting Crushed By Buildings

  1. Duane McGraw on December 7, 2016 at 12:42 PM said:

    We all know that LL didn’t really talk about much except for having sex because frankly he wasnt a great lyricist. He had females readily at his disposal because he was viewed as easy onow the eyes. He definitely had his share of them since he was a teenager. He said he’s “not a rookie” I thought instead of “not a wookie”? When he referenced the part about your granddaddy is here, I thought that was a talking about the rapper Grand Daddy IU since he was talking about rappers.
    Also , I think he was talking about the former rapper Sweet T AKA Sugar when he said sweet tea’s cool. And he also mentioned salt and pepper.

    • I thought LL had a really strong pen game on his first two albums. Of course, Rakim changed the game, but LL was slanging some really nice rhymes on his first two albums.

      Good info on those lines. Thanks for commenting!

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