It’s the finale of pop culture’s most handsome black eye. These last couple of months have seemed to fly by. And I’m just not sure after this that I’ll be able to watch The Real World any longer. It’s just not cool enough anymore. Real Worlders don’t beat up the beat.

By the way, let’s take a few seconds and bow our head in memory of Angelina. Bow, there it is.

The show starts with a recap of Ronnie dropping the guy with a punch and getting sent off to jail. Now let’s analyze this for a second. I don’t even remember what drunk dude said to Ronnie for him to get so mad that he had to throw a punch. The cop said that since the other guy didn’t hit Ronnie first, even though he might’ve swung first, what Ronnie did wasn’t in self defense. Thus, if you shoot first and miss, you can still ask questions last. That doesn’t seem fair.

But really, this is Ronnie’s second fight and he went ground and pound on the first guy. So maybe he had it coming to him? Wait, the first fight was Sammi Sweetheart’s fault, so I forgive him and so does the rest of the world, because we all hate Sammi Sweetheart.

Both Sammi and Snookie didn’t know what to do when they got back to the house with Ronnie sent off to jail, and Snookie had an epiphany.

“Should I call 9-1-1?”

And Sammi smartly remembered, “Don’t call 9-1-1, I think that’s emergency.”

And then Snookie wondered if they should call urgent care in order to get Ronnie out of jail. Snooki is greatness inside of a butterball turkey.

When she called the Seaside Heights County Jail, she said that she was looking for, “Um, Ronnie?” Yep, that’s how it works on the Jersey Shore. You don’t need last names. Ronnie must be like Norm from Cheers.

Commercial Break Trivia – Do you know why Mike calls himself the situation? He was walking shirtless with a friend and a girl who was with her boyfriend pointed at his abs and complimented them. He turned to the friend and said, “That’s gonna be a situation.”

After Ronnie got out of jail, the Situation asked Ronnie if he was tired and when Ronnie said yes, Sitch reminded Ronnie that the guy he hit was face down and that he probably had a worse night. And they chuckled together. What a great brotherly moment that was.

The Situation tried to get the hook up for he, Pauly D, and Vinny since it was their last night on the shore. But he struck out. How about we pretend that never happened. The Situation never strikes out!

Snookie contemplates asking out a male friend named Keith out on a date. Ok, let’s be real. Snookie doesn’t really contemplate. She just goes where the moment takes her. J-Woww made fun of Keith by calling him monotone Keith, but in her Jersey Shore accent, it sounded like mano-tone (as in Spanish for hand).

By the way, if you saw J-Woww now compared to when she was on the show, she almost looks human these days.

Commercial Break Trivia – Did you know that Sammi Sweetheart played soccer at William Patterson? You can see for yourself on her Fanbase page.

J-Woww mentions that she’s a big fan of gorilla juice heads who are pumped full of steroids and HGH. That’s her type. Calling Jose Canseco, guidette waiting for you at customer service.

“I make my way over to some cute girls and do what I do best. And that’s pimp it.”

If I have to tell you who made that last statement then you’re just not following the situation.

The Situation finds one to smash game on and the rest of the crew thinks the girl’s super young. They tell him that he has to ask her because they think she’s only sixteen. We never found out what was going on there.

Snooki tried to call Keith to go out with her, but it turns out that he wasn’t all that into her. How does she deal with the pain and heartbreak? Of course, she decides to dance all by herself on the boardwalk. She was like a one-girl Jabbawockeez crew if the Jabbawockeez were a bunch of orange midgets. Then she sees her ex-boyfriend and the dancing stops…

Commercial Break Trivia – Why do they call Jenni, J-Woww? I’ll give you two guesses and it’s not because of her face.

Pauly D says the he, the Situation, and Vinny are boys and that they share a special bond. That’s some deep stuff.

Ronnie is head over heels for Sammi. It’s kind of cute, until you figure out that in 5 years she’s still going to blame him for everything and then he’ll be onto the next one.

The Situation finds Snooki in tears because of her lack of man-getting skills and he tells her that if someone doesn’t like them, it’s f*** them! You tell her Sitch.

Commercial Break Trivia – Did you know that Vinny’s middle name is Jermaine because his mother was a big Jackson 5 fan?

Ok, I lied on that one.

Snookie joined the Situation in the hot tub and her clothes just started coming off. Then she called for the Situation to kiss her. The Situation was plastered by the way. Even as a plastered man, he knew that hooking up with Snooki (who he calls Snickers for whatever reason) would be a bad idea. What a great man.

Commercial Break Trivia – Did you know that Pauly D signed Larry Rudolph (Britney Spears’ old boss) to be his manager? Do DJs need managers?

The Situation said they should get a shore house next summer. How about MTV gets it for them and we roll with the same crew for The Jersey Shore 2?

And now, I’m going to go cry on my pillow as it has just now hit me that this show is over.

After yelling at them and taking away television for the night, I figured that would be the worst of the craziness while I was on this call. I was wrong. I was very wrong.

About 30 minutes later, I heard an alarm or siren start to scream. At first, I thought I needed to change the batteries to the fire alarm, but it was much more loud and constant. I had to put the call on mute and figure out what the heck was going on. I looked at my guilty children and they swore it wasn’t them this time. I thought Brian might’ve tried to warm up a Hot Pocket while I wasn’t there and put it in too long or something.

I put my computer down, grabbed my phone, told the kids to go outside, and then remembered to grab my keys. There was one problem with that. JJ, who had the bloody nose, had fallen asleep. What a rat. He woke up in a daze and wondered what the heck was going on. Brian immediately panicked and forgot to put his shoes on and was about to go outside barefoot. I grabbed his shoes and made JJ walk in front of me before we left the apartment.

It was raining and had previously hailed earlier so the kids went into the car while I tried to figure out what was going on. I watched people bumble out of their apartments (some without shoes) and they all wondered what was going on as well. Soon enough, the fire trucks rolled through.

I went into the car with the kids to get out of the way and thankfully for kids, my Apple Touch was in the car and thankfully for me, I had the Blackberry. So we just played games throughout the hustle and bustle.

I soon figured out that it was a vacant apartment that caught on fire. I think they were trying to ready it to rent again. There were cleaners fixing it up and someone must’ve turned the stove on by accident and just left it on. This apartment was above mine, but not directly above it. If it was directly above mine, I’d have been in some deep trouble.

The sprinkler system was set off in the apartment right below the smokey apartment, ruining the entire unit. This apartment was right next to mine. As we were able to go back into our apartments, a guy came over and asked me what happened. I told him about the smokey apartment and the one below which was drenched by the sprinklers and saw a sadness creep into his face. I put two and two together and figured the drenched apartment was his. He was my immediate neighbor and I didn’t even know it.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a more sad young man in my life. The color was gone from his face. Disappointment had a name. It was heartbreak apartment.

After taking the kids to piano and back, I noticed the young man again and his father was with him this time. They were emptying the apartment. I asked him when he’d be able to move back in and he shrugged his shoulders and said that he thinks he’ll have to switch apartments. I guess he and his young wife lived there together.

Then I remembered why I didn’t know he was my neighbor. He had just moved in recently, taking the apartment once rented out by a Mexican family who always killed me because they made chorizo and eggs every morning. If they had their door open, I would smell it and my mouth would immediately water. And he wasn’t making no chorizo and eggs.

Brian wondered if the small apartment fire was going to be a piece of news on a radio broadcast. And then he wondered if our horrendous car accident in 2007 would’ve been a part of a radio news broadcast. I think everything odd or scary that happens to them gets compared to that car wreck.

After all was said and done, we got homework done, I apologized to work for missing my meeting, and things were back to normal. But this was definitely an odd day.

Brian recorded a message for everyone about he and JJ.

Just recently, and for the second time in my life, I’ve received the words from someone I used to be in a serious relationship with, that they just got engaged.

What was my reaction both times? Of course it was of shock and horror and ill thoughts. Anger and frustration and fury.

Yah, I know, you didn’t believe that for one bit. For both, I was actually happy. And this time, ahem, dare I say joyful?

Love’s a crazy game
Two people vow to stay
In love as one they say

In some weird way, I’m able to tie up emotion, examine it, and figure out what it all means and then turn it into something workable.

Then again, I’ve also had practice. I’m talkin’ ’bout practice. It wasn’t all that long ago when I had to deal with Carol becoming engaged and that wasn’t that long after we were separated and divorced. At that time I remember thinking that since there wasn’t anything negative about that moment for her, there shouldn’t be anything negative about that moment for me.

But all is changed with time
The future no one can see
The road you leave behind
Ahead lies mystery
But all is fair in love

This time, it was different because she wasn’t right smack dab in my face. Though we keep in touch from time to time, I haven’t seen Miss Joyful since that one fateful afternoon two summers ago. I didn’t have to communicate with her and we were able to separate peacefully and without anger.

I had to go away
A writer takes his pen
To write the words again
That all in love is fair

Yesterday was really a funny day. I woke up and noticed a brand new stroller that was dropped off by UPS on my patio. I didn’t order it for sure. Then I had a “Valerie Malone” thought that maybe someone was trying to tell me something. Um, baby stroller? And then I did the math and the math came out right on my end. I wasn’t Kenny Bannerman. Whoever dropped it off, just dropped it off on my patio by accident. But later that night, I got the news about Miss Joyful. I still blame Valerie Malone.

All of fate’s a chance
It’s either good or bad
I tossed my coin to say
In love with me you’d stay

I wondered if my original emotion of happiness was simply a facade. Or were my true feelings genuine? How can you be happy that your ex-girlfriend is now engaged, not too long after you broke up? What about the scars and heartbreak warfare? Well, what if there was none?

I’m sure sadness reigned within for some time after the break up but truly, there were no scars or emotional anxiety. It was the perfect relationship for that time and place. We healed each other at a time that we both needed healing from previous relationships that left us feeling insignificant. And then it was imperfect and we moved on.

It’s no surprise that she now heals people with her hands for a living.

But all in war is so cold
You either win or lose
When all is put away
The losing side I’ll play
But all is fair in love

And I don’t think it was so easy to let go as if there wasn’t anything there anymore at the time of break up. Actually, I think it was the exact opposite. The reason why it was so easy is because there was definitely still something there. We both just had to transition it towards what was right for the other person, unselfishly.

I should never have left your side
A writer takes his pen
To write the words again
That all in love is fair

So now, I don’t have to worry anymore. She has someone to take care of her. She’s transformed her life for the better by taking some chances and winning. She stood toe to toe with life and said, “I am.” Winners win.

A writer takes his pen
To write the words again
That all in love is fair

And the morale of this story is that all in love really is fair, just like Steveland said. I just had to take my pen and write those words again.

Jessica is happy and thus, I am happy. Not just happy for her, but just happy.

Congrats friend.

But we’ll get there. Hang with me for a minute or two.

When my kids left for vacation with their mom, I made sure to busy myself with things to do because I miss them dearly whenever I’m not around them. And I wasn’t going to be around them for an entire week. I feared becoming a slight bit depressed and just being miserable, so I made sure to pack my schedule chock-full with things to do. Thus, it’s how I entered the world of Twilight.

I’d always said that the only way I’d watch the movie or read the books was because someone wanted me to in order to get into their world a little bit. But I was forbidden to read it by a 12-year old girl one time because she said it’d be weird for me to be reading about a teenager’s romantic obsession with a vampire. And I couldn’t really disagree.

Fast forward to last weekend and my cousin Tomiko and her best friend Stephanie (not Meyer) were throwing a New Moon party. They were going to hang out at their themed party and then head over to the movies and watch the new flick.

At first I was slightly bummed out because it was most assuredly a girl’s thing (and it was), but after my sister’s boyfriend Mike and Miko’s boyfriend The Coach both said they’d be going, I figured it wouldn’t be a bad thing to attend.

But I hadn’t even watched the first film. I had Netflix send me the film on blu-ray and I fired it up on a Friday so that I could at least acquaint myself with the characters. I didn’t pay 100% attention to the movie, but I got a good enough look to where I knew the characters and already had an opinion on them. Thus, I was ready for the party.

Now, before I even watched New Moon, I had this theory about the first book (and movie). Whoever was in charge of this thing was most definitely a fan of Beverly Hills, 90210. Before you roll your eyes at me and my theory, I’ll make three succinct points (ok, maybe not all that succinct) and then you can decide if those eyes of yours should’ve been rolling at me.

1. Edward Cullen is most definitely a clone of Dylan McKay.

If anything is true in our world, this is it. The sun will rise tomorrow. Water is wet. Dust settles. Fergie is a horse face. And yes, Eddie Cullen was created with Dylan McKay in mind.

I have one specific theory on why this is. Now, I haven’t read the books so Stephenie Meyer could’ve created this complete image of a lesser man than Dylan McKay and Catherine Hardwicke, director of the first movie, decided that he should look like Dylan McKay. Let’s go with the photo evidence.

It took me all of about 3 minutes to find those two photos. Can’t you just see Robert Pattinson cocking his head slightly, looking into a distance, and saying, “Brennnnnnnnnn.” Can’t you?

Now think of how similar their characters are. Eddie Cullen is a fish out of water. He’s sensitive. Moody. Bella’s immediate attraction to him is because he’s different and no one likes him. To her, the social outcast that she is, it’s a match made in heaven, even though, you know, he could eat her and she could die. Dylan McKay is a fish out of water. He’s sensitive. Moody. Brenda’s immediate connection to him is simply that he’s misunderstood and she thinks she can understand him. To her, the social outcast to her brother’s social incast (is that even a word?), it’s a match made in heaven even though, you know, at any point, he could decide to get angry and break a flower pot over her head.

This is what I think happened. I think that when Stephenie Meyer was writing this dream turned fictional vampire story, she started watching any vampire movie that she could get her hands on. After watching Eddie Murphy’s Vampire In Brooklyn and figuring that she didn’t want any African American characters in her story except for a really creepy guy, she watched the movie version of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, saw Dylan McKay in the movie and figured that was her Eddie Cullen if she ever got this thing off the ground. What she didn’t know was that Dylan was now over 40 and with a receding hair line so she found a look-a-like.

Now I have your attention. Let’s get to the second point.

2. The story of Eddie Cullen, Jakey Black, and Bella Swan (her last name’s really Swan?) is nothing more than a regular old love triangle.

There are two love triangles that you can compare it to in 90210. And I think both love triangles provided inspiration.

The Brenda/Dylan/Kelly Love Triangle
This one is the easiest comparison except that in this instance, Dylan is the Bella character, Brenda is the Eddie Cullen character, and Kelly is the Jakey Black character. The genders are flipped, but you’ll make sense of this in a second.

The Brenda/Dylan/Kelly love triangle was the culmination of a forced separation. Because Dylan was a problem child and endangered their daughter, Jim and Cindy Walsh sent Brenda to London mostly to get their daughter away from Dylan. You can do that when you have money. If not for Dylan scaring them half to death, the Dylan/Kelly relationship would’ve never really got going. And you can say the same thing for Jakey and Bella. The only reason he was in the picture was because Eddie was gone. If Eddie was there, the Jakey character is exactly who he was in the first movie which was some goof with long hair.

And here’s the storytelling in both situations to a tee. You never buy that Bella really likes Jakey as much as she likes Eddie. Thus, the love triangle isn’t truly powerful because how can you pull for Jakey if Bella basically tells him that he can’t carry Eddie’s jockstrap in a suitcase? This is exactly what happened with Brenda. You were about 75% sure that Dylan was going to choose Kelly in his, “It’s you, it’s always been you,” dulcet tones because she was more fun and didn’t have such strict parents. Her mother didn’t even care if she came home at night. And if you’re a teenager with a Porche, you’re going to choose the girl who can stay out all night over the girl with the curfew and Jim Walsh for a dad right?

Also, Kelly and Brenda have severe hate for each other that eventually goes away, but always exists in underlying tones. I haven’t read where the Eddie/Jakey feud goes, but they sure as heck don’t like each other. I’m certain that at some point, Jakey tells Eddie that if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck…

But here’s where that comparison doesn’t work. In the Brenda/Dylan/Kelly situation, it’s Dylan and Kelly who have the connection and not the other way around like with Eddie/Bella/Jakey. Thus, because the Kelly character is Jakey, it doesn’t work exactly.

Now here’s where the other love triangle comes in.

The Brandon/Kelly/Dylan Love Triangle

The obvious reason why this one doesn’t work is because in the end, Kelly is undecided and can’t choose between the two men. But that’s just terrible storytelling and an unwillingness to give your audience an ending to a story so that you can run the same story for basically every year of the show.

In this instance, Brandon is Jakey, Kelly is Bella, and Eddie is Dylan (because he looks, acts, emotes, and wears his hair just like him). It’s your basic “The Girl Is Mine” storytelling, except without the “I’m a lover not a fighter” dynamic, because Jakey definitely wants to throw down in the movie version of New Moon. But Eddie is cooler than the other side of the pillow. He knows exactly what Bella wants him to do and he does it. And why not? He has her in the palm of his hand.

But in the penultimate scene of the movie, Bella does make a choice, unlike that jabroni Kelly Taylor. However, if Bella would’ve taken both Eddie and Jakey aside and told them that she’s made a choice and, “I choose me,” I probably would’ve screamed in happiness at the movie screen because I wouldn’t have had to do any comparing, it would’ve been a straight jack.

If you put both of those 90210 love triangles together, you can see the influence on the first two stories. Don’t tell me you can’t see the similarities. You are lying if you don’t and no one likes liars.

3. There is another Kelly Taylor connection.

There’s another connection in this movie that really signaled to me that I was right on the money to notice that there is a definite influence here. There’s a character in the movie adaptation of Twilight named Carlisle Cullen. He’s a doctor and has a resistance to eating people, which is actually a powerful trait in the vampire world.

The actor who plays Young Carlisle is a man named Peter Facinelli. He’s been in movies like Can’t Hardly Wait and The Scorpion King, and even in the TV show, Nurse Jackie. So what does that all mean?

Well, the real Peter Facinelli is married to a woman named Jennie Garth, who is as you know, Kelly Taylor.

There you have it. There’s true connection and inspiration. You can’t deny it. I told you that you’d regret rolling your eyes.

The new champ Kevin, my dad, Billy, and I were on the podcast again to talk about Kevin’s victory, possible trends for next year in Fantasy Football, and the NFL Playoffs.

Listen below.

Right click to download.

Kevin was heard uttering this on Monday night after securing his victor, “Last name ever, first name greatest…” His victory over Dama’s Team secured his second BS Bowl championship and some nice pocket change which I will get figured out very soon.

And taking third place was Pantsless Speedo Boy, who beat Team Voltron to secure a free ride into next season’s league.

Here’s the draft order for next year:

1. Kenny Durham
2. Randall Bartholomew
3. Derek Durham
4. Michael Miles
5. Mike Nakamoto
6. Mike Lopez
7. Edson Lansang
8. Darrell Gutierrez
9. The Commish
10. Billy Parker
11. Tony Gonzales
12. Kevin Durham

See you next year~!

Our BS Bowl is now set up after one close semi-final match-up and one not so close semi-final match-up.

Bad Seeds took care of business against Team Voltron and won 70-51 while Dama’s Team had to withstand a late rush from Pantsless Speedo Boy to hold onto a 46-44.5 victory.

In the BS Bowl it’s Dama’s Team vs. Bad Seeds and in the third place game (winner gets fee waived next year) Team Voltron vs. Pantsless Speedo Boy.

We previewed both games and talked about other current NFL news such as the concussion problem on the podcast.

Listen below.

Right click to download.

Here is the podcast in which we recap the games, preview the semi-finals, and give our picks for the Booshit Bowl.

Listen below.

Right click to download.

I am sad. But not as sad as Edson. Ok, maybe just as sad as Edson. Speedo Boy upset the most jealous team in the league, my number two rated Jealous Eyes. Thank you Quinton Ganther, whoever you are.

Speedo Boy is going to face Dama’s Team, who beat up the San Jose Beer Drinkers, in the semi-finals with the winner going to the Booshit Bowl.

On the other side, Team Voltron had a great day against the number one seed Old Guys Rule and he’s onto the semi-finals against Bad Seeds who beat Edson’s Motivized & Funkasized.

Who is going the finals? You can vote on our site.

Right click to download.

I sure got those tie-breakers wrong last week.

That’s What I’m Saying and Team Voltron both won in week 13 which set up the first tie-breaker which I thought would automatically go to Team Voltron because of head to head victories. I was wrong. They split their two head to head games and thus, it went to the second tie-breaker which was divisional record. They tied with a 3-3 record. So it went to the last tie-breaker which was overall points. And Team Voltron won by two points.

Pantsless Speedo Boy got in as the last of the four seeds in the Funk Division. He beat out his uncle’s team, Donte’s Driving School as well as the Steam Rollers who went 5-1 in the division but 0-7 outside of the division. Donte’s Driving School also had the highest scoring total of teams that did not make the playoffs.

Here are the final records:

FUNK
TEAM, OWNER(S) PF PA HOME AWAY DIV STREAK
Jealous Eyes (Garrett Gonzales) 715.5 667.5 3-3-0 5-2-0 4-2-0 L1
San Jose Beer Drinkers (Darrell Gutierrez) 738.5 806.5 3-4-0 4-2-0 3-3-0 W5
Dama’s Team (tony gonzales) 682.5 707.5 1-4-0 6-2-0 3-3-0 L1
Pantsless Speedo Boy (joe kio) 693 737 3-2-0 3-5-0 2-4-0 W1
Steam Rollers (derek durham) 749 743 0-7-0 5-1-0 5-1-0 L3
Donte’s Driving School (Randy Bartholomew) 774 703 3-3-0 2-5-0 1-5-0 L2

MOTO
TEAM, OWNER(S) PF PA HOME AWAY DIV STREAK
Old Guys Rule (Bill Parker) 768.5 699 5-2-0 4-2-0 5-1-0 W2
Bad Seeds (Kevin Durham) 790 727.5 4-3-0 4-2-0 3-3-0 W1
Motivized & Funkasized (Edson Lansang) 716 658.5 5-2-0 2-4-0 2-4-0 L4
Team Voltron (Mike Lopez) 729.5 762.5 2-5-0 4-2-0 3-3-0 W2
That’s What I’m Saying (Mike Nakamoto) 727 775 2-5-0 4-2-0 3-3-0 W1
Bull No (Kenny Durham) 667.5 764 2-5-0 2-4-0 2-4-0 L1

And here are the match-ups for the first round of the playoffs and consolation bracket.

Team Voltron (6-7) Mike Lopez at Old Guys Rule (9-4) Bill Parker
Motivized & Funkasized (7-6) Edson Lansang at Bad Seeds (8-5) Kevin Durham
Dama’s Team (7-6) tony gonzales at San Jose Beer Drinkers (7-6) Darrell Gutierrez
Pantsless Speedo Boy (6-7) joe kio at Jealous Eyes (8-5) Garrett Gonzales

Bull No (4-9) Kenny Durham at That’s What I’m Saying (6-7) Mike Nakamoto
Donte’s Driving School (5-8) Randy Bartholomew at Steam Rollers (5-8) derek durham

Can Jealous Eyes get upset again in the first round?
Can Pantsless Speedo Boy run the table and win it all again?
Can Bad Seeds, Old Guys Rule, and Motivized & Funkasized win the championship again?
Can Dama’s Team finally win the big one?

We will get closer to answering all of those questions next week.

We just finished the 12th week and the last week of the regular season is upon us.

Here’s a look at the records:

FUNK
TEAM W L T PCT GB
Jealous Eyes 8 4 0 .667 –
Dama’s Team 7 5 0 .583 1
San Jose Beer Drinkers 6 6 0 .500 2
Donte’s Driving School 5 7 0 .417 3
Steam Rollers 5 7 0 .417 3
Pantsless Speedo Boy 5 7 0 .417 3

As of right now, Jealous Eyes and Dama’s Team are in the playoffs.

This is where it gets tricky. If the San Jose Beer Drinkers wins, he doesn’t have anything to worry about. He plays Motivized & Funkasized this week. Donte’s Driving School, Steam Rollers, and Pantsless Speedo Boy are all tied. The Steam Rollers hold the tie breaker over all the teams fighting for a playoff spot because of head to head victories.

If we have teams tied for the last two playoff spots, here’s how the tie breakers work:

1. Head to head
2. Divisional record
3. Total points

MOTO
TEAM W L T PCT GB
Old Guys Rule 8 4 0 .667 –
Bad Seeds 7 5 0 .583 1
Motivized & Funkasized 7 5 0 .583 1
Team Voltron 5 7 0 .417 3
That’s What I’m Saying 5 7 0 .417 3
Bull No 4 8 0 .333 4

Old Guys Rule, Bad Seeds, and Motivized & Funkasized are already in the playoffs. Bull No is out of the playoffs, even though they’ve been on fire of late. It’s down to Team Voltron and That’s What I’m Saying for the last spot. If Team Voltron beats Donte’s Driving School, they are in the playoffs. But if they lose and That’s What I’m Saying beats Dama’s Team, they go to the playoffs. If both teams lose, Team Voltron gets in.

There are still three spots left with six teams eligible. Who do you think misses out on the playoffs? You can vote in our poll on the league site.

It’s that time again in the Booshit Fantasy Football league. With just two games remaining, it’s time to break down the playoffs.

Here are the standings:

FUNK
TEAM W L T PCT GB
Jealous Eyes 7 4 0 .636 –
Dama’s Team 6 5 0 .545 1
Steam Rollers 5 6 0 .455 2
SJBD 5 6 0 .455 2
Speedo Boy 5 6 0 .455 2
DDS 5 6 0 .455 2

In the Funk division, my team, Jealous Eyes is atop with only two games separating the top from the bottom. Let’s see how this all breaks out.

Jealous Eyes holds tie-breakers over SJBD (San Jose Beer Drinkers), Speedo Boy, but not against Dama’s Team, or the Steam Rollers. JE faces DDS (Donte’s Driving School) in their second game of the year. JE needs one more win to qualify for the playoffs.

Dama’s Team needs to go into the tank and lose both games to get knocked out. They hold the tie-breaker over JE, Pantsless Speedo Boy, but not against SJBD, DDS, and Steam Rollers. He plays Speedo Boy this week.

At 5-6 the Steam Rollers need to do some winning. They hold the tie-breaker over Pantsless Speedo Boy, SJBD, Donte’s Driving School (who all own the same record) Dama’s Team and Jealous Eyes. Derek just can’t beat teams in the other division. He’s sitting pretty as long as he can win a game and he faces SJBD in an important game this week.

The Beer Drinkers are also 5-6 and own tie-breakers over Dama’s Team and Donte’s Driving School. After losing five games in a row, they are on a bit of a comeback with three straight wins. As stated above, the SJBD vs. Steam Rollers game is huge for both teams this week.

Last year’s champ, Pantsless Speedo Boy is also at 5-6. He owns the tie-breaker over his uncle’s team (DDS) and the San Jose Beer Drinkers. He started the season 1-5, but has won four out of his last five to stay in the playoff picture. He needs a win over Dama’s Team this week.

Young Randall also stared the season slowly at 1-5 and losing five in a row. He’s also won four out of his last five. He owns the tie-breaker over Dama’s Team only, so he’s going to need help getting into the playoffs. A win over that great team, Jealous Eyes would help his cause.

MOTO
TEAM W L T PCT GB
Bad Seeds 7 4 0 .636 –
Old Guys Rule 7 4 0 .636 –
M&F 7 4 0 .636 –
TWIS 5 6 0 .455 2
Team Voltron 4 7 0 .364 3
Bull No 3 8 0 .273 4

The Moto division is a lot easier to figure out.

The top three teams are all tied for first and have all clinched the playoffs. Only that last spot is up for grabs. Because of losses to both That’s What I’m Saying and Team Voltron, Bull No can’t win any tie-breakers so he’s out of the playoff hunt.

So it’s down to That’s What I’m Saying and Team Voltron. And guess who plays this week? If by the end of the season, they are tied, the tie-breaker is going to be interesting. Team Voltron holds an early victory against TWIS and if they win again this weekend, they’ll own the tie-breaker and will have destiny in their hands. But if TWIS beats Voltron this weekend, they’ll clinch the spot and the season for Voltron will be over.

It’s going to be an awesome week and by the end of the weekend, we’ll have a better picture, but I think a lot of the spots will go down to the wire.

Your job is to choose who you think who has the most greatness.

Here are the nominees:

Dave Meltzer – The writer and editor of my favorite newsletter of all newsletters, The Wrestling Observer. He’s been on the ballot before and he will be on it until he wins.

Dave and I

Brandon Walsh – Coolest man of the 90s. He’s been on the ballot before and he will be on it until he wins. Wait, I already said that.

Tim “Lincy” Lincecum – He has long hair which he hides under a ball cap or beanie. Oh yah, he’s also the best pitcher in the National League.

Bill Simmons – I only have him on here to make Albert mad. And I went to his book signing.

At the Bill Simmons book signing

The Coach – He’s the kiss stealing, wheeling dealing, limousine riding, jet flying, son of a gun.

Previous Winners

Mike Lopez and Eddy Zucko were automatically inducted into the Great, Great Man Hall of Fame for this video:

Great, Great Man #1 – Nicholas Lachey was our inaugural winner.

Great, Great Man #2 – Patrick Swayze was a well deserving recipient and our second winner.

Great, Great Man #3 – Ricky Iglesias was our third winner.

So who will it be?

Will it be that great, great man Dave Meltzer?

Will it be that great, great man Brandon Walsh?

Will it be that great, great man, Lincy?

Will it be that great, great man, Bill Simmons?

Or will it be that great, great man, the Coach (on the left)?

Vote now and if you want to argue your case, leave a comment below. But vote in the poll first!