- that no one ever says “No diggity, I got to bag it up,” in everyday language.

- that Martin isn’t as funny as it used to be when I was eighteen.

- that Danity Kane broke up.

- that when Kim Kardashian gets older, all that ass is going to droop.

- that I’m still at least a couple minutes behind Eddy Zucko’s pace which means I have lots of training to do if we race again.

- that sometimes, ain’t nothin’ goin’ on but the rent.

- that I actually like a Katy Perry song (and not the first one either).

- that the new 90210 is so bad that Jason Priestley is rolling around in his grave and he’s not even dead yet.

- when my kids get sick, although I can’t show them because they have to be tough and not miss school.

- that Lil’ Wayne will more than likely beat Jay-Z and Nas for the rap album Grammy.

- that the Warriors are terrible beyond belief and there’s no Don Nelson to save them because he’s the one that’s killing them.

- that BJ Penn lost because cousin Davey is so sad.

- that Randy “The Ram” just couldn’t live in the real world.

- when people allow things to hold them back when if they’d just let them go, they’d feel so free.

- that I actually still have television stations that aren’t broadcast in HD.

- that playing baseball seems such a long time ago.

- that my iMovie keeps crashing.

- that Kurt Warner’s wife’s hair looks normal again. I miss the flat top.

- when I’m dreaming with a broken heart. Waking up is the hardest part.

Dreaming With A Broken Heart – John Mayer

I have been dreading watching this show. After last week’s debacle, I hoped they took another break. But today, I read that help is on the way. And I couldn’t do anything but smile.

Maybe the greatest man on earth today not named Obama is quoted as saying that it’s not 100% that he won’t be on this show.

Jason Priestley is scheduled to direct episode 18 of this show which is supposed to be pretty big. But that’s not all that newsworthy. According to E! Online, when asked if he would make a guest appearance now that Donna Martin is coming back, he didn’t say no, which has been his answer.

Never say never, right?

There you go. Never say never. I’ve never been happy to see those three words.

- Ryan, Kelly’s once scruffy boy toy, is now back at the school.

- It looks like we’re going to see Annie act in a play again.

- Adrianna isn’t taking her pregnancy seriously. She keeps drinking coffee.

- Kelly tries to talk to Adrianna about her pregnancy to get her to take it seriously. Naomi wants her to get an abortion. 902-uh-oh.

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I have this problem with quitting on things. For some reason, it pains me to not finish something that I started. Thus, I think I have to watch at least 15 more of these episodes (or how many their going to do). But really, I wish I could quit doing this. They’re not even telling stories anymore. They’re just putting characters together, throwing things on a dart board and everything that misses the dart board, they keep. How can you write a show like that?

I saw an old episode that was awesome the other day. They had a few stories going and everything made sense. There was even some foreshadowing going on. Steve rents out a mansion to throw a rave. Emily Valentine comes back to screw up Brandon’s life. Brandon is with Kelly and she’s suspicious. Ray tells Donna that his dad threw his mom down the stairs (foreshadowing!). David invites a bunch of lesbians on accident to the party because he spammed the wrong BBS board. Griffin (remember him?) tried to rig the circuits so that the power would stop going out in the mansion. Dylan was in rehab. Then the house burned down and Kelly was burned, Brandon made out with Emily, and Steve was going to get blamed for the fire. Awesome!

This season? Not so awesome.

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We’re back already and I think I could’ve used another 6 months. I’m not even sure where we left off. All I know is that Tori Spelling and her Donna Martin character are coming and she’s probably about two months away. I wonder if she’s still married to David even though Brian Austin Green is still on that Terminator show if it’s still on TV.

I hope the month and a half off did them some good.

- Annie might have the skinniest legs I’ve ever seen in my life.

- So far, we’re five minutes in and I think there’s five new story lines and I’m only sure what one of them means. 1. Annie and Naomi are fighting over their new half brother. 2. Adrianna is worried about a friend from rehab. 3. Brenda is sick or something. 4. Some girl is sweet on Dixon and Silver isn’t having it. 5. Sean, the new half brother is already scheming (well, we knew that one from last time). All in five minutes?

- They’re doing a quick recap since they went dark for a month and a half and someone doing a valley girl accent is doing the voice over. Great idea, except for the accent.

- Kelly came to Brenda to get her to support Adrianna at an event that her mother won’t be at. Brenda kicked her out. Jim Walsh would be bothered with her behavior.

- After Silver showed Dixon how much she dislikes the girl that’s crushin’ on him, he tells her that Silver won’t mind if he went to a party at her house. Hmmm. Where’s the logic there? And then he lied to her. Jim Walsh would be bothered again.

- Brenda showed up to support Adrianna, but didn’t apologize to Kelly for kicking her out.

- Annie thinks her half brother Sean is scandalous. So does her mom aka Aunt Becky.

- Hmm, now Adrianna might have HIV. This show is out of control.

- Sean just got a beat down from some bad guys who he supposedly owes money to. Annie and her mom still can’t truss it.

- Adrianna isn’t HIV positive, but she’s pregnant from the junkie HIV positive dude she slept with. At least when Andrea was pregnant on the show it was because 35 year old Gabrielle Carteris was pregnant in real life.

- Ok, the girl that likes Dixon doesn’t really like Dixon. She likes girls. This show is so terrible it’s not even funny.

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I haven’t missed this show one bit. However, they’re trying to tease me back in.

Kelly and Brenda are upset at each other. What else is new?

Thanks to E!Online.

It kind of reminds me of this time. Truer words were never spoken. Stab in the back, I bleed.

The words in the title were from the late great Owen Hart. I think it relates to this show.

We are now on to Episode 10 and I have to say, this show frustrates me dearly. I will do this one time and one time only. I’m going to give you three ways that they can make this show watchable and less frustrating.

1. Character development
This one should be easy right? Well, I have problems remembering some of the names of the characters. And I not only watch this show, but also blog about it. So if anyone should be able to remember character names, it’s me right? But it’s not easy. Why? Because there are certain characters who are given time to develop, aren’t quickly shooed away in 20 second scenes, and are actually likable or at least memorable. But there are others who aren’t. Kelly’s scruffy boy toy whose name I always forget (Ryan) is the single worst character on the show. He mumbles through his lines and is played for a douche bag time and time again. It’s pitiful. I also always forget Lori Loughlin’s character’s name so I simply call her Aunt Becky. And who even knows what the grandmother’s name is?

The characters need to be given time to develop. Rather than give us a potpourri of characters, write some stories where there are only a few of the gang and focus specific time in order to get some of them over. Why not do an episode where Adrianna and Navid are given a good amount of air time? We don’t have to see 20 different stories going on at once. Five would be fine.

2. Slow down and let things stick
I’ve used the analogy before of letting things stick to your ribs. It’s actually not that hard and you can look at the old show. They did this brilliantly. Whenever Brenda was upset (which was often), they held the camera on her face for a few seconds to let the emotion soak in. When Naomi is upset, she gets to give a dirty look for a half a second and they immediately cut away. It doesn’t soak in. When something important happens, you’re only given a few seconds to try to gauge the importance, and then it’s gone and it’s off to another scene. In the original show, they did everything so slowly. But that’s why it was memorable. It’s called story telling.

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According to E! Online, there is a rumor that Brenda Walsh will be stricken with a serious health issue which could turn out fatal. The death of Brenda Walsh? I’m really not sure how to take that. But for some reason, my man Jason Priestley was interviewed for his guest stint on My Name Is Earl and this 90210 rumor came about. He played it off in a goofy way, but then was asked about his role with 90210.

Here’s what E! Online wrote.

Jason will be directing the 18th episode of 90210’s current season sometime after Christmas. He says he chose to work behind the camera, rather than reprising his role, because “There really wasn’t anything interesting for me to do as Brandon on that show. As the director who directed the most episodes of the original show, I just had more to offer as a director.”

Find him something interesting to do as Brandon! Writers get paid to write “interesting” stories. Come on!

Ok, let’s get on with the show.

- Naomi is obviously not over Ethan yet, and even worse, she sees her new friend making out with him after she pretty much agreed not to. Not a good day for the poor girl.
- Kelly is back and says that Dylan still has the same commitment issues.
- Not only is Naomi not over Ethan, and not only is her new friend making out with him, but her parents filed for divorce. Not a good day for the poor girl.
- Naomi just grabbed Annie’s phone to get the phone number of her old boyfriend Jason, who she left in Kansas. She’s not just sad, she’s getting even.
- I still think Adrianna is going to break Navid’s heart (it’s Navid, not Naveed).
- Adrianna wanted to get down with the freaky deaky with Navid, but he claimed that he had to work. He must be lesbian.
- Naomi is trying to sabotage Annie and Ethan.
- Jason just came out of Annie’s pool like the swamp thing. That Naomi. Sabotage.
- Navid’s father paid for Adrianna’s rehab and yet he’s open to his son dating this former drug addict.
- Finally! Navid’s mom just asked Adrianna about rehab. Though, she called her Amy Winehouse.
- Jason snuck a kiss from Annie. That Naomi. Sabotage.
- Oh by the way, I think this is supposed to be Annie’s 16th birthday party.
- Navid is the new Donna Martin! He just told Adrianna that he was a virgin.
- That Naomi just made out with Jason. Annie was hurt. Even though she’s been making out with Naomi’s ex. I don’t get it.
- Annie just told Naomi to meet her outside. Naomi did everything just to hurt Annie. Annie says she’s over being friends. And then their step brother showed up. Yep, the son that Harry and Naomi’s hot mom had together showed up to the party. What a fantastic ending to such a terrible episode. I was legit surprised.

Next week, Brenda is shown in the hospital telling Kelly that she hasn’t returned any of her calls because she slept with Kelly’s scruffy boy toy.

If I wasn’t so resilient I’d stop blogging this show because it’s so bad. But oh well. I punish myself.

For those of you who have been reading these, you know that I’ve been saying that the show is way too fast paced, nothing sticks, and the reason the first show worked is because they had long and drawn out stories. Well, I think there may be a change to come. I read that they’re going to start infusing the show with story lines that are a bit more issue related that mirror things that are going on in society. I think it will help very much. Also, I read that someone is about to become pregnant. Wait, they waited until the fourth season on the original when Jesse’s super sperm impregnated Andrea. It’s too soon.

Photo by bananawacky and shared via creative commons

- Harry just dropped the bomb on his kids that he dated Naomi’s mom in high school, impregnated her with his super sperm and thought she got an abortion. But she didn’t. She had the baby, and gave it up for adoption. I think this leads to the kids thinking that they can have sex now because dad did when he was in high school.

- Dixon just says, “It’s freaky, but it’s cool.” I like that guy.

- Ethan says that he and Annie should be on the DL.

- Silver decides to have a slumber party at Kelly’s because soon, Kelly is coming back from her escapade with Dylan.

- Naveed is the greatest man in the world, but Adrianna is going to break his heart worse than Hulk Hogan.

- Naomi thinks that dorky Naveed wants to get in Adrianna’s pants. Well, he does, but that’s not why he sorts jelly beans for her.

- By the way, is rehab only a weekend thing?

- Harry tells Annie that she can’t have a slumber party at Silver’s because Kelly isn’t there. She said that she’s almost 16 and that when he was 16, he was making babies. Ouch.

- She went anyway. Damn 15 year olds.

- They’re drinking tequila and Annie just gave the worst fake “this tequila tastes bad, please pour me another” face of all time.

- Annie and Naomi changed shirts. I didn’t even see their bras. All I saw were ribs.

- For some odd reason, Adriana started to make out with Naveed. All this while Annie was drunkenly making out with Ethan.

- Adriana decided to take off her shirt. At least I wasn’t looking at her ribs.

- Kelly’s scruffy boy toy put the cop in his car and one of the kids noticed. Not good scruffy boy. Not good.

- Principal Harry showed up to bum rush the party and sees his daughter sprawled out on the floor.

- She let him know that he wasn’t honest and she wasn’t happy. All this while having vomit breath.

- Adriana now wants to be with Naveed. She is so going to break his heart worse than Michael Jackson.

I was a bit bothered by the bait and switch from last week. The preview tried to make it seem as if one of the girls was going to make a mistake and drunkenly sleep with someone and while it wasn’t necessarily what I wanted to see, it seems like a sleezy way to get people to watch. However, it was one of the better episodes of the season. Most everything made sense, which is not usual with this show.

Next week, Kelly is back, and she wants her scruffy little boy toy.

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Sadly, I didn’t miss this show for the two weeks that it was in reruns. I kind of wondered where the story lines would go, but as I’ve said before, this show has major pacing issues and stuff happens way too fast. Nothing sticks to your ribs. But alas, I’m loyal and I’m here to stay.

There is some news, which if you’ve been following like I have, you already knew. Jason Priestley has agreed to direct a future episode. He directed several seasons of the original show after his character was written off. I just hope they get him to do a cameo.

Photo by remolacha.net fotos

I don’t even remember where we left off, except that Adrianna overdosed.

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I noticed the box art of the DVD for Beverly Hills, 90210 Season 6 and it took me back. I can remember it like it was yesterday. She was driving his car. Her father’s henchman opened up fire thinking it was Dylan. And just as soon as she was married, she was dead. That beautiful woman was dead. And then I cried. I mean, Dylan cried. I don’t think the new 90210 would ever make me, I mean, Dylan cry. It just can’t match the greatness of the original.

We’re on episode 6 and it was a chore for me to get through last week’s show. But that might have to do with the fact that I was up until about 1AM blogging it last time. It’s much earlier tonight.

• There’s a new girl and she’s bitchy. And she’s from Vegas. That’s bad news.
• Annie gets paired up with Ethan for a class project in which they will raise a fake baby together.
• Silver plans her 1/2 birthday at a cemetery. What’s wrong with that girl?
• Naomi’s MILFY mom is going to hire a private investigator to find the son she had with Harry, but who she gave up for adoption. Remember that storyline?
• When Silver told Dixon that she was going to paint one of Kelly’s walls black, she said, “You know that black is my favorite color.” Wink, wink.
• They must’ve written this line for me. Annie left the baby crying underneath her jeans in the corner of the bathroom and her mom said, “Nobody puts baby in the corner.” Aunt Becky has never looked more uncool.
• Naomi’s MILFY mom kissed Harry!
• Cops came in with the dogs to sniff out the drugs and Adriana had coke on her in a lipstick container. Naomi took it from her to flush it down the toilet but she was caught. No snitchin’!
• Aunt Becky reacted very well to the news that Naomi’s MILFY mom kissed her husband.
• Woah! The new student isn’t actually a new student. She’s a cop who is working to find the drug dealers on campus. Had me fooled. I thought we were two episodes away from Kelly’s teacher friend getting accused of molesting a student.
• And rather than cop to the drugs being her, Adriana flakes, but then ODs while the show ends.

This show is just way too much.